dear pratt.

dear pratt,

a few days ago a young man killed several people in arizona.  some of them were famous people...or maybe famous in their hometown/government/etc.  but all of them had families.  people who loved them.  mothers who at some point, i'm sure of it, worried about them.  probably even like me, went into their bedrooms, night after night, to make sure they were covered up with a blanket, warm and breathing.  it's hard to believe i'm the ONLY parent out there who has poked you and made you move in your sleep, just to make sure you're still okay.  yes, i do this.  nightly.

there was a little girl who was killed.  a little 9 year old girl.  it's hard to imagine someone intentionally hurting another person.  it's IMPOSSIBLE to imagine someone intentionally hurting a child.

no matter how many fits you throw.  how many times you hit or kick or yell, i've never thought of harming you.  and so i don't understand how a stranger could choose a little girl, and do this.

but that's why i'm writing you...

because i don't have to understand.  it's not my place.  it's not your daddy's place to understand.  or pop pop's.  or sugar or cookie.  or nana or pops.  or anyone else that you can think of.  not even toleman.

it's out of our hands.  and what we have to do, is somehow keep our opinions to ourselves.  and pray.  pray for the little girls family.  and for the shooters family.  and even (wait for it...) pray for the shooter.

because we don't know the circumstances.  we HAVE NO IDEA what that kid was thinking.  or feeling.  but i'd venture to believe that maybe there was something wrong.  something a little "off".

and as pop pop always told me, um...well, how do i pick just one thing?!

let's see.

he always said, "until you've walked a mile in the other person's shoes, you can't be critical of his choices.  his decisions, han.  it's just not your place."

or as atticus finch said it to his little girl scout....


"First of all," he said, "if you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks.  You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view ---"


"Sir?"

here comes the most important part...or as your dad would say, "the kicker"...


"---until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."


isn't that so good, pratt?!  can't you just see it.  close your eyes and see it.  climbing into someone else's skin.  walking around in it.  walking around as someone so far from yourself.  so far from you regarding looks, feelings, actions, emotions, etc.

it's one of the hardest things to do.  to really, truly think before you act.  or to follow the golden rule of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".  it's easy to say.  easy to memorize.  but so much harder to put into action.

i won't get on a soapbox, but i will say this.  i hope that by the time you are my age, there have been changes made regarding the state of mental healthcare here in america.

if you want to grow up and be a dentist like daddy, i will be so proud.  i will come get my teeth cleaned every month just to see you work.  and cry like mamaw fulks always did when she watched your daddy.

if you want to grow up and be a teacher like sugar, i will be so proud of that too.

and if you want to grow up and work in the mental health field, i would be so proud of that.  knowing that you were helping those who could not help themselves would make my heart burst with pride and joy.

whatever you choose to do....wherever you choose to go...remember this.

before you judge, get in his skin...walk around.  and sit and think about it for a good few minutes.  and only then, after much thought and even more prayer, are you allowed to pass judgement.

i love you.  and i always will.  always, always, always.

xoxo, mommy.