pig pen junior.

when i first found out pratt was a boy, i said...OUTLOUD, "oh.  he's gonna be so dirty.  all the time."

literally.  those were the first words out of my mouth.  clint was cheering like he had made a touchdown.  with his arms up in the air.  and that's what i was doing.  complaining about the dirt.

who knew how right i would be?

pratt played with scout in the backyard today.  for about 30 minutes.  it was cold.  and dirty.  and he LOVED every minute of it.  at some point, scout knocked him down.  no worries.  she is the sweetest dog.  and was loving on him, licking on him.  and he fell.  he thought it was great.  he rolled around and she thought it was great.  like he was a dog.  and maybe...just maybe...for a few seconds he thought so too.

that would explain this...

dirt and mud galore.  and i wouldn't have it any.other.way.

he's perfect.  dirty.  and perfect.

i took all his clothes off at the backdoor.  his pajama pants are caked with dirt at the bottom.  and his boots.  oh, man.  i don't even know what i'm gonna do about his boots.  i can hear clint right now, "you don't do anything with them, hannah.  they are boots."

can you imagine the dirt that is gonna happen with two boys!?  oh man.

a sticky note...of sorts.

i've often said that when i write a book on being a mother, i'll include....

today, i've had a running list in my head. it's only 1 pm and it's been a loooooong day.

so i apologize ahead of time for the complaining. and the whining. but it's real life around here folks.

1. the importance of a job away from home. i realize that all you moms who work outside your homes are cussing me right now. that's fine. i'm sorry. but i swear that today i want a job. just so that i could take sick days from said job and go shopping. instead of really being sick. i'd fake the sick days. and i'd go to tj maxx. and the mall. and i'd just walk around. in my nice clothes that don't have sticky peanut butter and jelly smeared on the sleeve. and i'd go eat with my friends who work. and visit. and have full sentences with them. not broken sentences that sound like this,

yes. and so i was....PRATT, PUT DOWN THE KNIFE. okay. yes. so i asked her at that point if she....PRATT. PLEASE STOP TRYING TO GET OUT OF YOUR SEAT. IF YOU'RE GONNA BE A BIG BOY, YOU NEED TO SIT IN YOUR SEAT. AND ACT LIKE A BIG BOY. i asked her if she wanted to...PRATT, SERIOUSLY. HERE. JUST PLAY ON MY PHONE.


because that's what my sentences sound like. and that took like 5 minutes. and i still haven't even gotten to the meat of the sentence. it's tragic. and tiring.

2. you will never pee again in private. or do anything in private again. really. honestly. i don't know how i'm pregnant. i really don't. i can't remember the last time clint and i were alone that we didn't immediately go to sleep.

3. you will be pregnant and feel fat. and at times feel like you never want to have sex again. and at some point, you will hate that while you have to spend money on maternity clothes, your husband will be a father in 10 months and he will never have had to gain a single pound. and never have to wear a different pair of pants. he will never bust a seam. he will never get a stretch mark. he will never scratch his boobs until they are literally covered in bright red dots of blood. and if he had a "missy" it would never be permanently altered. because trust me, your missy will be. YES. it will.

4. at some point, you may have to special order a bra because your pregnant boobs are so big. you will find yourself googling, "what size comes after double d". and you will stand in the jcpenny mirror and gasp at the rolls of back fat you see. and you will wonder when your arms turned into those of carney wilson. you know, the girl from wilson phillips.

5. you will have strong bad feelings toward your husband because he can be gone all day on a saturday doing strange things like hunting weird colored animals while you sit at home and treat your saturday as any other day of the freaking week. like a monday. or a tuesday. it's no longer a weekend day. just another day of you getting up. not ever being alone. and you will probably fight with him about it. only to have him either a. tell you, "i just won't go" which will really P you off. because you don't want to have to be the one to tell him not to go. really, you just want him to say, "here's 50 dollars. go buy yourself something really special and get a mani/pedi. and here's my credit card too. you're such a good mom. go treat yourself to something. and stay gone all day long so that i can clean the house and do the laundry for you. and you can come home to a house that smells like lysol. and i'll have the toddler already in the bed. and i'll have dinner made. and us a movie. and i'll rub your feet." he'll either martyr up and say he's not going or b. he'll say, (and this is MY FAVORITE), "i work all week. i'm just asking for one day to do something i enjoy. to enjoy my hobby."

seriously. that's my favorite. i start counting to 50 at that point. because. guess what. I WORK ALL THE TIME. ALL WEEK. ALL MONTH. ALL DAY. ALL 24 HOURS OF THIS FREAKING DAY. I'M WORKING. i'm cleaning house. i'm doing laundry. i'm wiping up spills. cleaning off dirty hands. i'm grocery shopping. i'm clipping coupons. i'm taking out the trash. i'm making beds. and wiping tear filled eyes. (my own...and my childs). ugh.ugh.ugh.

6. when you have to take iron while pregnant, your poo will be black. like oreos. yes. black. and you'll have to eat bottles and bottles of miralax. and start hunting the internet for coupons. because it's expensive.

7. you will want to apologize to your mother for ever giving her a hard time. and you will cry when you think about all that she did. and you will wonder if she's even real. because you never, ever, ever heard her complain.

i think that's all for today.

and yes, i know i should be thankful for everything. i get it. i do. but today, today i'm hacked. and i'm tired. and i'm just plain over it. i need a nanny today. and possibly a better attitude...maybe tomorrow. it ain't happenin' today.

ps. apparently, on june 8th...around the time i was 27 weeks pregnant with pratt...i flipped out then too. and if you missed it, here it is. so now i don't feel so bad about my freak out today.

Pps. I'm not trying to be disrepectful of my husband. Everything I have said here, he has heard. Numerous times. If there is one thing we do well, it's communicate. Rarely do I hold anything back. He doesn't either. So please don't think I don't respect him. Or love him. Or think he's fabulous. I do. I'm just venting.

strange.

yesterday after the storm the sky was a very strange yellow color.  we were heading up to clint's office and i said, "man pratt.  the sky looks weird.  all yellow and murky."

pratt looked out and goes, "yes mommy.  the sky looks very strange."

i started laughing.  wondering when he turned 21.  he just kept looking at me...wondering why i was laughing.

oh, and for memory sake...here is how he eats a chocolate donut with sprinkles.

and yes.  that's the pregnant lady's bite up top.  don't hate.  i'm hungry.

tea party for mr. monkey & soft bear

They ate fruit. Had tea. An all around good time.


















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the gabe dixon band.

you may have heard of these guys.  i hadn't.  i highly recommend them.  the self titled album is great, fantastic.  awesome.  everything good.

i found them on pandora.  mumford and sons station.  if you don't do pandora, go do it now.  NOW! pandora.com, i think.  or maybe pandoraradio.com

this is a video of several clips from a show that was on a while back. "what about brian".  i loved it.  i guess no one else did.  apparently this song, "all will be well" was on there.

the lyrics are here on the video.  and i'm a SUCKER for lyrics.

go to itunes and check them out.  or myspace.  all their songs are there.  enjoy!!

twenty eight weeks.

with twelve even longer weeks to go...




And to remember how much this melts my heart...





While I was getting ready, pratt was reading to mr. Monkey and soft bear. All his favorite books. At his little table.  I walked in his room to make his bed and get his clothes out and saw this.  So, so great.




He even propped them up on my old b. Sweet, sweet boy.

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you're a mommy.

A while back it occured to pratt what clints job was. We go up to his office alot, and I think he finally put two and two together.

Being a dentist meant working on teeth. Broken teeth, missing teeth, teeth with cavity bugs, etc.

He constantly wants to look in peoples mouths so that he can fix their teeth. Pratt does, not clint :) He loves to get the mini flashlight out and look around.

So today he walked up to me quite randomly. And he said, "daddy is a dentist. And I'm gonna grow up big and be a dentist too."

I said, "well, that would be great. Maybe you could do Botox too. because I'll need it weekly in 25 years."

He smiled and said, "otay mommy."

And I just couldn't resist. I said, "dads a dentist...and what am I?"

"you're mommy.". And he smiled. As if to say, "duh."

I've never been more proud to be a mommy.

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first atlas

For pratts second birthday, we gave him an atlas. "my first atlas". Just for kids. I came across it at tjmaxx and figured it was too advanced, bur bought it anyway.

He found it tonight and loves it.

Clint and I both loved looking at encyclopedias as kids. So I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.


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10:23 pm

pratt, you received an email from pop pop last night at 10:23 pm. It obviously came from a new ipad app called penultimate.

This is what was written...





:)

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dear pratt.

dear pratt,

today in sunday school, you colored jesus.  purple.  fine by me.  i think jesus would be fine with it.  i think he'd just be glad you colored.  you aren't always the biggest crayon fan.

in our sunday school, we talked about paul and the book of romans.  and we were in chapter 8.  and i can't remember the exact verse, but one of the guys in the class brought up an old sermon he remembers.  our former pastor, george, gave a sermon one morning where he posed the question, "how would you feel if you got to heaven...and EVERYONE was there."

by everyone, he meant everyone.  


i've never thought about that exact question.  but your daddy and i have had lots of discussion about whether or not we really believe in hell.  the problem for me lies in the many people who never hear about Jesus.  it's a loaded thought.  one that i won't get into here.  we can talk more about it later.

but dad and i wonder about those people with mental illness.  the ones who maybe commit those crimes because of, or due to...their mental state.  something they may not be able to help.

and so it's hard to imagine that they wouldn't be allowed in...when they are stripped of their earthly bodies. and left as spirits.

and of course, there's the whole, "a sin is a sin" thing.  my sin is equal to their sin.  which is hard to fathom.  but that's what we are taught.

anyway, i just wanted to get that question down.  because it's a good one.  and i can't wait for the day that me, you, max and daddy sit around the dinner table talking about the important stuff.  the stuff that will stretch your mind.

my dad always stressed the importance of seeing both sides.  being able to argue both sides.  that's probably the attorney in him.  but i think he's right.  it goes back to putting yourself in someone else's shoes.  and that's always a good thing.

i love you.  and you...you love to ride with daddy in the ranger.  and you love ace too.

xoxo, mommy.

friday.

we had a busy Friday. We talked it over, and decided mcdonalds sounded best for breakfast.





Daddy went with us before he headed to work. Then we left there for kroger. Where pratt was a super big boy and pushed the buggy all alone.





We took a walk down to the river and then played with the dogs and threw rocks.





There are six rocks below. One for pratt, dad, mom, max, ace and the unnamed neighbors dog that went to the river with us. This was pratt's idea. I loved it.









After his nap, we headed to the library. Yes, same day...different clothes. I'm a freak about taking a nap in clothes that have been outside. They smell like the outdoors. Or like kids fresh from the playground. So I always try to talk him into a shower...then a change of clothes...then a nap. Because who gets in the bed with dirty clothes. Ugh.

We found lots of new puzzles at the library!! Made our day!









This is the new "hmm, let me fink about it" face. When asked a question that he has to think about, this is what he does.





He loves the toddler computers.




We ended the day at the park. And played until the sun went down.

All in all, a good Friday.

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you fink she knows who i am?

today we had a few items to grab at kroger.  pratt wanted "blue ice cream" which is mint chocolate chip.  he thinks the greenish tint is blue.  so he calls it "blue ice cream".  i've tried to correct him, but it's not worth the fight/headache/argument.  he's 2.  he knows everything.


i wanted the toffee apple dip.  i don't know why.  my friend laura was eating it the other night and i've been thinking about it for 3 days.  so i needed some granny smith apples.

pratt told me that he didn't really want to ride in the buggy.  the conversation went like this,

p: "i not ride in buggy today, mom.  i not need gumball.  and i not need to ride in buggy.  i too big."

and that was that.  i saved a quarter.  and he got to push the buggy.  this was the first time i've ever done this.  it was around 845 am, so i knew we would be alright.  there weren't too many people for him to push the buggy into.

he would push and then walk alongside me.  we have a tag-a-long handle, but of course, i forgot it at home.  he did really well.  we ended up only buying one thing that we didn't really need.  capri suns.  he saw them on the end of an aisle, and said, "oh, mom.  i fink i need these.  they are so good. i get them for you.  i put them in buggy.  you not bend over."

i've decided that maybe this is the way to shop.  take him extra early.  and let him do all the heavy lifting.  he helped me unload the groceries at the shelf check out too.  there is the sweetest lady that works at that check out.  she always says, "have a blessed day." i love her.  i really do.  and pratt does too.

as we were checking out, and he was helping me, i noticed he kept looking at her.  he finally walked over to me and said, "hey mom.  you fink she knows who i am?"

i said, "yes, i'm sure she recognizes you.  why?"

never missing a beat, he said, "cause i not in the buggy.  she not know me.  you fink she knows me? you fink she sees me help?  you fink she give me a sticker for helping?"

she did.  :) and she heard him and was laughing.  just add that onto the list of why i heart kroger.  i feel like we're family.

so this morning was good.  pratt's so big.  and it's so sad.

tired.

today has been a long, hard day.

i didn't get much sleep last night.  my stomach was hurting/cramping pretty badly.  it started around 8.  and didn't get better until this morning.  i might have slept 1.5 hours total.  my lower back hurts and keeps me from getting in any position that is comfortable.  of course, i'd finally find one where i didn't have a hot pain radiating to my toes, and then i'd have to get up to go pee.  it was ugly.  somewhere around 330, i started crying.  sobbing.  and then around 4 i was mad at myself for being a baby.

pratt was really good today.  i think he knew that i couldn't do a hard day.  i think sometimes he senses it.  maybe i'm frayed.  and he's intuitive enough to know that he's got to be good.

i didn't nap when he napped for several reasons.  one. i knew that if i did, i'd NEVER be able to fall asleep tonight.  and two.  because i needed to clean my house.  i always need to clean my house.  and i'm not good at that old "a clean house can wait" thing.  it can't.  a dirty house makes me unhappy.  and literally keeps me up at night.

i don't know how or why, but this house is always dirty.  i don't know if that's normal or not.  growing up, our house was always clean.  i assume this was because my mother was constantly cleaning it.  and it's a big house.  really, really big.  i don't know how she did it.  i used to clean my room and spencer cleaned hers.  and we cleaned our bathroom, and i was exhausted.  and now...to think, my poor mom was cleaning the rest of that house alone.

tonight pratt was not wanting to go to bed.  the past few nights have been hard.  i don't know why.  he says he's scared of the fire alarm.  but i really think it's an excuse.  we've touched it, talked about it, etc in the daylight.  i take his concerns/worries/fears very seriously. because i know what it's like to be afraid.  but i think it's an excuse to stay out of his room.

it started suddenly.  and like any habit, it's gonna be a hard one to break.

tonight i was done.  tired.  over it.

i put him down.  and about 3 minutes in of him screaming my name i went in there to tell him that he was fine.  and that he needed to lay down.  he was at the foot of his bed.  i put him up on his pillow, kissed him again and walked out.

about 2 minutes later, he walks out of his room.  WHICH HE NEVER DOES.  i walked back in there, picked him up and felt his little heart beating so fast.  and he was crying so hard.  i held him and sat on his bed.  he just kept begging me to stay in there with him.  lay down with him.  i'm a total hard a most of the time.  but when it comes to him begging me, i'm a limp noodle.

i remember what it's like to be scared.  and not want the day to end.  to just want your mom or dad with you.  laying by you.  and so i gave in.  i told him to close his eyes and i'd close mine and we'd go to sleep.  he immediately stopped crying and said, "oh fank you mommy."

as i lay there with him, i began to cry.

because of so many things.  in no particular order.

i'm tired.  i hurt all over.  i have so much to do and never feel like i get anything completely done.  it was 815 and i realized that i was laying there with him when i should be up doing things.  but at the same time, i felt this overwhelming guilt to just be his mother.  and be there for him.  because i know that time flies.  and i know that one day he won't want me to lay with him.  and he won't beg for me hold him.

it was just this internal battle.  i was mad at myself.  for not being able to stop crying.  for being a baby.  but at the same time, i was mad at clint.  because he wasn't having to deal with this.  i was.  i was dealing with it.  i wanted him to come in and say, "hannah.  you're tired.  you've dealt with this all day.  go sleep.  i'll do this."

let me say that had i asked him, he probably would have done it at that point. (he actually did go in later when i had given up) but i didn't want to ask.  it's like that everybody loves raymond episode.  where debra tells him that she just wanted him to hug her.  but she didn't want to have to tell him to hug her.  same thing.  i want him to read my mind.  i know, i know.  impossible.  but after dating/being married to me for 10 years, you'd think he'd know.  whatever.

it's not about him.  it's about me.  and my problem.  and my issues.  and my raging hormones.

i must have cried the entire 45 minutes i was in there.

i'm totally overwhelmed. all i could think about was how soon i'd have a second baby.  and how am i supposed to deal with pratt...and be there for him when i have this other baby to care for.  what do i do at that point?

i'm starting to feel those postpartum feelings.  you know, where there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  where i really don't know that it will get any better.  i really don't know that i will ever be okay.

wait, that's not right.  i DO know that i will be okay.  but it feels like it might take years to get there.  and i don't know that i have that long.

i like being happy.  i like being normal.  i like not crying all the time.

and as i type this, i am fully aware of all the people who really have worse problems than me.  i'm thinking of those that i know that are having problems getting pregnant.  or who have lost babies and who can't seem to get pregnant again.  or those who have sick babies.  sick babies that may  never come home from the hospital.  i think of my friend jana who has two boys under 6.  who recently lost her husband and is left to raise those kids on her own.

and here i am.  complaining about something that seems so small.  yet, to me...seems bigger than me.  so much bigger than me.

i think this is mom guilt.

i'm pretty sure that's what it is.  because prior to coming downstairs to write this, to purge...i sat in in pratt's room and just watched him sleep.  i worried that he fell asleep upset.  or worried that i was upset with him.  i worried that i had hurt him.  or scarred him for life.

he looked so peaceful, so i didn't wake him.

i think maybe i'll go up and sleep with him.  just so if he wakes in the middle of the night he knows i'm not upset with him.  and he knows that i'm right there.

sorry for the depressing post.  it's real life around here.  aren't you glad you live far, far away?  ha.

of note.

pratt did something the other day that deserved a disciplinary measure.  i honestly cannot remember what it was.  i think he raised his voice at me.  gave me an order and raised his voice.

i turned around and grabbed him by the shoulders and got right in his face.  (just like my mother used to do to me.  only i was always scared by it.  not my kid.)  anyway, i grabbed him and said, "you do not raise your voice to me.  or anyone else for that matter.  if you want something, you ask nicely.  yelling gets you nowhere in this house, child."

he looked up at me and said, (AND I QUOTE), "you are so mean.  and today, you are so crazy."

are you dying?!  that sweet little boy.  hahahaaaaa!!!  yes.  that's what he said.

i didn't miss a beat.  i grabbed him again and got nose to nose with him.

and said, "listen here child, i'll show you mean.  and i'll show you crazy.  you haven't seen either of those things yet.  but i can do it.  i can do it right now."

i wanted to tell him that i had a few people he could call about the "crazy" topic.  i mean, honestly.  there are a few ex-boyfriends who i'm SURE would classify me as crazy.  i can be crazy.  i can do it well.

all i could think about was bill cosby.  "son, i brought you into this world and i can take you out."

amen, bill.  amen.

i told clint just the other night at dinner.  the day pratt says something about how i haven't done enough for him.  or that i'm to blame for something.  or that it's my fault he's a certain way.  oh man, oh man.  i'm gonna go ape you-know-what crazy on him.  i really am.  i won't be hurt.  well, maybe later.  but initially, i'll go nuts.  and he will regret saying it.  and he will never say it again.

because there is one thing i know since giving birth to him.  and that is that my mom worked her butt off everyday for me to be happy.  and healthy.  and to have a good life.  and she spent many a night praying for me.  and i spent many a night truly believing they were trying to ruin my life.

i was wrong.  so, so wrong.

so mom, i'm sorry.  thank for you always loving me.  and never "taking me out".  even though i know you wanted to :)

and pratt, don't test me.  i always win.  i do, i really do.

coleman

There is something so special about seeing your child love someone else. Watching him be a friend. Taking his prayer requests every single night for the same person...give or take a few others.

Pratt has loved Coleman since day one. And Coleman had treated pratt as a friend since that point. Never talked down to him. Never called him a baby. Always treated him as an equal.






Today Coleman came over and played. And sat through a tea party. I really think that the only reason pratt was good at kdo today was because he knew the reward was a visit from Coleman.

Pratt, for the first time ever, didn't cry as Coleman left. He waited on him to get outside and then he walked over to me with the saddest face ever. He said, "I not cry. But I not want him to leave."

I reminded him we could see him anytime, and we would see him again soon. And he was a little better.

We are sure lucky to have Coleman in our lives. I only hope pratt loves max as much as he loves Coleman :)

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day two.

Day two.

Still obsessed.

Questions from this morning included...but were IN NO WAY limited to:

Mom, where the ladybugs go potty?

I not see a frog potty. They not have one?!

Is this one dead? He not move.

What do we feed them?

Do they like mushrooms?

Where cookie get them?

Why they not red with black dots?

Will some of them be blue?

Can they live with colemans hermit crabs?

You get the picture. It's nonstop. Towards the end I started tossing out the ole, "you know...your dad knows a lot more about these than me. He's the man for all these questions."

But that didn't stop him. Slowed him down, yes. Stop? No way. Only sleep stops his questions...





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valentines day.

pratt had a pretty good valentine's day.  i took him to walmart on monday and let him pick out whatever candy he wanted AND any balloon he wanted.  the balloon was a big deal.  i was really worried he was going to get one of those gigantic ones, but he stuck with a sponge bob one.  (of all things.  i can't stand sponge bob. and don't worry.  he DOES NOT watch that.  somehow he knows what it is.  but that show is horrible. )

he chose swedish fish candy and a sponge bob balloon.  and candy for coleman, carter, leyton and jill.  of course.  the highlight of his day was probably getting to go with clint to take their candy to them.  he pulled up in the driveway and leaned over to clint and said, "i'm so excited, dad!"  i think if stacy asked him, he'd move in.

this past weekend, pratt (with the help of cookie), gave me and spencer our valentine's day gift.  i received the following text from spencer friday night,

pratt picked this out for me!  i said i love it.  he said i do too.  

apparently, mom took him to a little place back home.  they had lunch there, and then decided to pick out some presents for me and spencer.  the story goes that pratt climbed up on the counter, saw the heart shaped ring and said, "this one is perfect for sugar!"

and that was that.  :)

mine is square.  black and silver.  and i absolutely love it.  i've worn it every single day since saturday.  i'm sure that sugar has been wearing hers too.

when he sees that i have it on, he will come up and point to it and say, "i got that for you.  me and cookie.  do you wuv it, mommy!?"

so sweet.

today he got two more valentine presents.  we met my mom in little rock for lunch and a mall trip.  and pratt was surprised with two great presents.

here they are...

on the left is ladybug land.  they are small bugs that will eventually turn into larvae and then into ladybugs.  you give them food and water and that's it.  it's supposed to be really hard to kill them.  i'll let you know how that works out.  and on the right are caterpillars.  that will become butterflies.  there is a gigantic net that goes with them once they turn into a chrysalis.  we will then move them from the cup to the net.

he loves them.  both of them.  he wants them to be in his room so he can sleep with them.  and he wants to carry them everywhere he goes.  he's so excited about showing them to coleman tomorrow afternoon. as dorky as it sounds, they really are pretty educational.  we talked today about the life cycle of a ladybug.  we looked at the pictures and everything.

if you're interested, here is the website where mom found them.

http://www.insectlore.com/

and then just when he thought the gift giving was over, we walked out to get the mail and discovered a box on the front porch!

i adore this picture.  nana sent him some personalized m&ms for valentine's day.  they were red and white.  some said, "happy valentine's day" and the others said, "nana luvs pratt".  precious.

he got so excited when i pointed it out to him that they had his name on them!  he shrieked and smiled and said, "they do, mommy!  they do!"

he wanted nana to see that he was eating them already.  a boy after his mother's heart ;)

so thank you to cookie and nana for the wonderful presents for both me and pratt.

we truly feel so loved.

four things.

Lots of things have been changing around here. I'm trying not to cry as I think of it all. I'm trying to find the blessing in our simple lives. With our healthy child. And this healthy pregnancy. I'm trying to remember to truly count my blessings before I go to sleep at night.

A few differences...

One. no more baby monitor. It's in the baby's room. Which isn't pratt's room. I don't shut his door, so I can always take a few steps down the hall and check in on him. But no more watching him on video. This is weird. Really, really weird.

Two. He walks up and down the stairs alone. Like I can be cooking dinner and he will go upstairs to get something and then come back down. ALONE! I still hold my breath each time for fear he's going to fall.

Three. The books we are reading before bedtime have changed. "goodnight moon" has been a staple. But "go back to sleep" is a new pick. "chicka chicka boom boom" is a favorite now. He likes saying "coconut tree" and "boom boom!" at the appropriate times.










He's started requesting "are you my mother" in bed. Instead of just while he sits. This is a problem for me. I feel like it's a bathroom book. That's got bathroom germs on it. And I don't like taking it from the toilet area to his bed. We have got to get another copy...




"the giving tree" is read second to last.




The last one before lights out is "llama llama red pajama".




I think he likes the page where I flip out and do my best worried baby llama voice (and face):

"llama llama red pajama
In the dark without his momma
Eyes wide open
Covers drawn
What if MAMA LLAMAS GONE!!!!!???"

He goes crazy. Laughs. Opens his eyes really wide. Totally freaks. It's hilarious.

Four. He's using big kid toothpaste. By Tom's. You know, of Maine. Strawberry flavored. And he's spitting it out and everything.

Time needs to stop. Asap.




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for the record.

Clint took pratt to the races today. It's 608 now and they are headed home. They left here around 1245.

So this is for me to remember that clint is the best for giving me a full day to devote to cleaning the baby's room. And catching up on laundry.

AND even better, being excited about his and pratts guy trip to the track. And never acting like it was too difficult to do alone. Because let me tell you, I would have been stressed out. They were even going to stop and get a snack at a gas station on the way back. What!? I only go through drive thrus. Getting him in and out of the carseat is just too much for me these days.

So, clint, next time I complain...feel free to throw this up at me :)


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scout.

pratt and scout.  after scout treed a black squirrel.  it's a big deal folks...

clint's take.  of course, he INCLUDED the squirrels...

dear pratt.

dear pratt,

cookie got you a haircut.  because, let's face it...i would be the mother that never did it.  never cut your hair.  let it get so shaggy that the school had to call and tell me that they were going to walmart to buy some bobby pins so they could pin it back.

anyway, ty ty's mom cut it.  and it's really, really cute.  in the old days, your hair didn't get curly until it got long.  not now.  the back of it is sort of getting curly.  wavy.  just how i always wanted my hair.  you can thank your daddy for that.  you can thank me for your mood swings and your sensitive skin...sorry, bud.

the haircut makes you look 14.  and it's a little heartbreaking.  because you're still supposed to be a kid.  a toddler.  a 2 year old.

just to remember.  i held you for a long time this morning when you woke.  because i realize now...more than ever before, that time is slipping away from me.  and that too soon, you will be so big that i can't figure out how to tuck your legs into mine so that i can keep your toes warm.  and soon...my arms won't wrap all the way around you.

until then though, i'm gonna hold you like a baby.  and you're gonna like it.

love, mommy.

the beginning.

I feel time slowly slipping through my fingers. Pratt is two years and five months today.

He is this grown up man...trapped in a toddlers body.

He is starting to go places with daddy. Just him and dad. They don't need me to make a juice cup. He doesn't need a diaper bag. I dont have to remind clint he might need to potty soon. P is able to verbalize that really well. I don't even have to put him in clints truck. Either pratt crawls up, or clint does it.

It's very bittersweet. I know that this is what makes clints heart flutter out of control. It's only the mere beginning of the relationship that the two of them will have. I just can't help but notice how fast it seems to be happening.

Today they plan to go see one of pop pop's horses run.

But I know that no matter where he roams, he will always be excited to come back to me. He always comes in the backdoor and as soon as he sees me, he screams my name.

So clint, if you're reading this, thank you. Thank you for teaching pratt what being a wonderful dad, parent, husband, and friend is all about. Thank you for rubbing off on him. And leading both of us by example. We are lucky to have you in our lives.

Life is good today. Remind me of this when I'm complaining about something incredibly trivial next week.


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you don't have to take a nap...

It's 301 pm. On Thursday. My parents have had pratt for about 30 minutes.

I just got a text from mom that said,

"Dad said he knows now what his mom meant when she said "you don't have to take a nap you just have to stop talking"."

I literally laughed out loud.

Because I constantly say that pratt never stops talking. But you don't know just how honest I'm being until you're around him.

Hilarious. So now he looks exactly like my dad and acts like him too.

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tea party.

pratt thought dad coming to his tea party was as cool as the king of England showing up.











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do you love it, mommy?

yesterday we had lunch with nana.  after lunch, she took pratt with her to walmart.

i was in the kitchen when i heard them come in the backdoor.  i think i might have said, "y'all are home!" or something like that.  it was then i heard pratt start running.  i rounded the corner and saw him running with a gigantic smile on his face and a big red bag in his hands.

he said, "happy valentines day, mommy!" he was so excited.  and so proud of what they had bought me.  nana knows me well.  it was a box of ghirardelli chocolate and a card signed by "pratt & max".  so sweet.

all day yesterday afternoon, he would come up to me and say, "do you love your present, mommy?" and when i told him that i did, he would say, "i knew you would, mommy."

this of course makes me realize that no matter what he ever gets me...be it made by his hands or bought, i will love every single thing.  and probably hoard it all until the day i leave this earth.  i'm gonna need a much bigger box...

such a sweet little guy.  and nothing warms my heart more than seeing him love giving.  i hope that he always sees us give with a smile on our face.  most importantly...to those who have needs that we can help fill.

nancy said he asked for a quarter when they were leaving walmart.  you know, for the candy/toy/tattoo machines.  she didn't have one.  no worries, he told her that when they got to his house, he would give her one of his :)

thank you nana for my valentine's day present!  i love it.  or i should say "loved" it.  he ate 6 of the 9 pieces of chocolate.  no lie.  i had one.  and there are 2 left over.  ha!

our conversation.

while going potty, pratt says,

"mom, i pooping.  just for you, mom.  this poop is just for you."

and later on in the conversation, he asks,

"i pee, mom.  and now i poop.  and when i'm done, i pee again.  why, mommy?  why i pee again?"

what a great question.  one i've been wondering about for years...

twenty six weeks.

Happy 26 weeks, little guy.





We will celebrate with a trip to the library. And probably sonic. And wherever else your big brother would like to go!

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