change.

i won't get into politics here...because i don't want to offend anyone with my yellow dog ways...but i do think it's necessary to mention obama's speech last night.

i was super busy elevating my feet aka resting when clint came in from packing and we got to watch it together. i don't think you have to agree with what was said...you don't have to be a democrat...i just think that it's wonderful that a black man has been nominated as the democratic candidate for president of the united states.

unfortunately, we'll always see color. we will always see differences in each other. to assume that this will just go away is silly. it won't. so i'm convinced that learning to appreciate these differences is what we must do. where we must start. be proud of who you are. be proud of what we can accomplish when we all come together.

how radically different could this world be for my child than it was for me?

i'm excited about seeing what happens. and i'm really, really proud to be living during these times.

37 week update.

no change today. still same as last week.

lonna says it's because he knows his mom and dad are moving...and he's waiting on us to get settled. i totally believe that :)

for mom.

when we went to new york in march, my mother came across a picture in us weekly of halle berry pregnant. she was wearing a skirt and a shirt. the shirt was pulled down on one side...but it had crept up on the other...and you could see her tummy peaking out from under her shirt.





when i saw it, i remember thinking..."man, doesn't she know her belly is all hanging out...why wouldn't she try to wear something else that would cover it up?"

when my mother saw it, she said, "hannah, never do this. this is so trashy."

little did i know...that when you're pregnant and in your last month...getting up, getting showered and getting dressed is pretty miraculous. finding a shirt that will actually cover up your entire belly is not as easy as it seems.

well, mom...guess who's trashy today...




it's not something i planned. it's not something i can control. the white shirt is one of the longest ones i have. and you see where it ends. when i went to the post office today, i had to self consciously hold my gigantic purse over my tummy so no-one would see it.

notice halle's ankles too. that's what mine look like...

36 week doctor's appointment

went to the doctor today. this marks the beginning of going every week. which means we're getting closer and closer!

i am 1 centimeter dilated and 30% effaced. i know this means nothing...but it kind of made me nervous.

he explained how i could stay this until 40 weeks. which would be great. because we close on our new house on the 28th of this month...and are planning on moving on labor day. so if only this baby would hold out till at least after that!

as meredith said...we're really no longer on "our" schedule...we're more on "his" schedule.

i'll keep you updated.

also. clint's grandmother is recuperating in the hospital right now. please keep her in your prayers. she's getting better and hopefully will be going home soon. she's a very, very strong woman...but i know that she's experiencing quite a bit of pain. so just remember her when you say your prayers. we would really, really appreciate it.

36 weeks.

forgiveness.

i know that this is a blog about our new little family. but i have to break away from that for a minute. something on my mind. that i don't want to...maybe i can't...ignore.

when i was in high school, i was at the tanning bed. shocker. that was before i had been "converted"...before i was a "believer" in the beauty of pale. anyway...it was cool then. frying your ovaries. smelling like a burned hot dog. yada yada. i was at the salon when this woman came up to me. she asked me who i was. i responded with my first and last name. i didn't really know how else to answer. i'm from a small town. everyone knows pretty much everyone else. as soon as i told her who i was, she said something about how i looked just like my dad. typical. i get this a lot. years before, one woman actually said that i looked just like i "had been spit right out of his butthole". yes. not a good visual...but i guess she was just trying to get her point across.

anyway, the woman at the salon said, (and i'll never, ever forget it)...."your father can count his enemies on one hand." i think i went home that day and mentioned it to my parents. my dad just sort of laughed it off....probably denied it.

i bring it up now because i realize what that means. what it means to have so few enemies.

i think i've begun to compare myself to my husband. who reminds me so much of my dad. i don't know anyone who doesn't like clint. i'm not sure how you couldn't like him, once you get to know him. he's kind. he's patient. he's honest. he is rarely critical of anyone. it's not that annoying goody-goody thing...it's just him. being himself. knowing that there is no point in being critical. knowing that being hurtful to someone else, in no way, makes you feel better about yourself.

i think that knowing that i'm bringing a baby into this world, has prompted me to revisit all this. i finally understand what it's like to want to create a world so perfect, so flawless...a home so loving...parents so perfect...that this child never, ever, ever hurts.

i realize that it's pointless. and it's not possible. but i still feel this very strong internal drive to try. and in trying...this to me, means apologizing. it means forgiving. and being forgiven. it means, getting right up in someone's face and saying, "i am sorry." which is hard. for everyone i think. it means admitting fault.

i find myself trying to live my life differently. it's not like i went out before and tried to run over people on the road...or intentionally was rude or hurtful to people...i'm not that way. but now, i find that i'm more likely to open up. more likely to remember what God would have me do. more likely to put myself second or third or fourth.

i hope that when my son is grown...and someone asks him who he is...he can tell them..and they can say that his parents are good people.

also, today was my grandmother's birthday. my meme's birthday. my mom's mother. she died too early. i know today is always tough for my mom. so, mom...dad, spencer and i are so lucky to have you here with us. we love you.

in memory of maggie.

my friend emily (and her family) lost their dog last night. her name was maggie. although i never met maggie...it's not necessary...i know their pain without having met her...i know how much emily, jon and dennis (and max) are hurting today. and will hurt in the days to come.

as i sit here and type this, i'm crying. there is just something about our animals. and losing them never gets easier.

when i was a kid, we got mama kitty. she lived for 21 years. and passed away when she got really, really sick from feline leukemia. i had moved from our house...and so it was easier for me than for my parents...but even still. to this day, thinking of her upsets me. i find no shame in that. in fact, i think it says something about you when you love animals. it truly speaks volumes.

anyway...i know that jon, emily and dennis would appreciate the prayers.

packing.

when i was kid, i would beg my parents to move. i mean, i wanted to go with them...but i wanted to experience a move. you know, packing boxes, loading a uhaul...starting from scratch somewhere new. i was fine with it being in camden...i just wanted to move. it always seemed like such fun.

getting boxes and markers and bubble wrap and tape. and getting to clean everything out while you pack. i love spring cleaning. i love cleaning things out and throwing things away. finding items i forgot i had.

i'm packing now. here. clint's at work. and i'm packing. that's kind of my "job" right now. that, and being a walking oven.

so i'm here in the kitchen. yoda is asleep on the green chair. ace is in the living room, depressed because it's raining outside...and i'm listening to itunes, packing up dishes and pewter and china and stemware.

with every single box, i feel like i've accomplished something. and then i open up a cabinet and realize that i'm not even halfway through this one room.

i'm starting to get sad. sad that we're moving. don't get me wrong, i absolutely love our new house. but it's just that this is our house. clint has done so much to it...to make it our house. to make it a wonderful, wonderful, cozy place.

this was our first home together. where we came to live after the honeymoon. where we found out we were pregnant. in the living room. and the half bath. where we had fights. where we made up. where we had our first anniversary. all of it was here. and now, someone new will be coming here. someone new will be using our kitchen. our front door. our driveway. our mailbox.

they are a young couple. newly married. and they are very sweet. and i know that they will take care of the house. but still...it's hard.

the "baby's room" will never hold our baby. the walls, painted so perfectly by clint...will never get to enjoy this baby. all the times that clint has opened that door...just to look in...to peek in...it will be a totally different room.

i'm excited. but i'm also nostalgic. and i'm torn. and i don't want to feel like so much of my life was lived here. 16 months. and now, we're just walking away.

i need to go take pictures now. pictures of every room. so that i can keep them. before i pack everything up. so i'll never forget what this house meant to me.

how comfortable i was here. how everytime i open the door, ace is sitting there shaking all over waiting on me to acknowledge him so he jump in the recliner to be rubbed. how at 5 pm, i can hear the door open...and clint comes in, says, "hey babe" and hugs me. every day. how i burned the counter the night before the inspection in the half bath. how when the furnace went out, we slept in the living room by the fireplace to stay warm. how the water faucet in the guest bath is switched. "h" really means cold...and "c" really means hot.

all of it. i'm going to miss it. i really, really am.

i hate growing up.

my dad.

my dad came up last night. he spent the night with us because he had to be at the airport super early. i'm pretty sure he left here at 405 am. his flight left at 6. nothing like being a tad bit anal retentive about getting there "on time".

before he got here, i made a quick trip to walmart market. because i didn't have any orange juice. or powdered donuts. or peanuts. basically, i had no snack food for him to take on the plane.

i packed him up a little snack consisting of some of his favorites. powdered donuts, peanut m&ms, peanut snack mix...the spicy kind, oreos, goldfish and some homemade banana nut muffins. oh...and a little thing of orange juice.

he laughed when he saw it. and was probably embarrassed to take it on the plane...but i know that once he's hungry, he'll appreciate it. my mother usually carries a bag full of snacks...but she's not going to be with him...so he needed to be prepared.

as i lay in the bed trying to fall asleep, i realized that i needed to make sure he knew how to get to the airport. i tried to convince myself that he would know...that's he's driven it a million times, but i couldn't stop worrying about it. so i got up, went downstairs, and wrote out a note. reminded him not to forget his personal size oj in the fridge and left him directions on how to get there.

i came back upstairs and was almost asleep when i wondered if there was any toilet paper in the guest bathroom. i layed in bed for oh...about ten minutes...before i convinced myself it'd be best for me to just get up and check because otherwise, i'd drive myself crazy worrying that he might need some and not be able to find any. so i got up, and put an extra roll out. just in case.

i set my alarm for 430 am. he was gone when it went off. at 5, i got out of bed. my back was hurting and it was pointless for me to just lay there any longer. so i called him. he made it. but i wanted to make sure. i reminded him of all his snacks and told him that he could get something to drink on the plane to wash everything down. you would think that i had sent my 10 year old son off for the first time on the big airplane all by himself. but no, it was my father...a grown man.

i've thought alot about it this morning. since i've been up since 5 and all...

and i guess it's just me. i've always been this way. always wanted to take care of people. it's part of the whole "maybe i could be a doctor" thing. i try so hard to be this way with clint...but he doesn't really allow it. i think my dad is used to it because my mother has done this now for...37 years. something like that.

it's nice. it's nice feeling like you're taking care of someone. i'm hoping that when this baby comes, that instinct will just kick in. and i'll know how to take care of him. i can do my best. i know that i'll screw up. i know that i'll make mistakes. i know i'll have regrets.

but i do promise to do my best. and that's all i can do, right?

our mobile trip.

this weekend we flew to mobile to see andy and clara. we hadn't seen their beautiful home yet...so we took a trip...and used andy's birthday as the excuse. he turned 30 on saturday.

it was so much fun seeing them. clara is 18 weeks pregnant...even though she is still wearing her "normal" clothes. meanwhile, my ankles were so swollen that they got me a chair with a pillow so that i could "put my feet up". and andy brought me a glass of ice water with a straw in it. :)

when we arrived late thursday night, clara had me a cupcake with a candle for my birthday! it was yummy, yummy!

friday morning we had a wonderful breakfast made by andy. friday afternoon, clara, clint and toured a historic home...and had lunch at a place famous for their hot dogs. that night, andy cooked dinner that night. lamb, green beans, pasta and squash. we played a game called triominos which was really fun. and andy made fun of clara and me most of the night because we had some trouble keeping score.

the boys planned on taking a deep sea fishing trip for andy's bday. they left early, early, saturday morning. at like 5 or something. they got 30 miles outside of mobile, only to learn that due to the weather, they couldn't go fishing.

but that's okay...that just means that we can go back at a later time, and the boys can fish...and maybe, just maybe...they'll have little fishing buddies with them :)

clara and i spent saturday at this wonderful salon. clara gave me a manicure and pedicure for my birthday. while i was doing that, she had a prenatal massage. we were both completely pampered and i can't wait to go back for more. the people there were all really, really nice.

saturday afternoon we ate at a wonderful pizza place. the pizza was wonderful. andy and clint's favorite part was the man who shaved the parmesian cheese...well, that and his fingernails were so stinkin' long that i'm convinced some of the nails were shredded too. saturday night we had dinner at a restaurant on the water called oysterellas. we watched the olympics when we got home. and today, they drove us to the airport to come home.

being with them is always so much fun for us. even though i secretly hope clara is having a little girl...i know that it would be great for it to be a boy...that way andy and clint could go fishing and hunting...and all things "boy" with them.

we love you guys. and are so glad we got to spend the weekend with you. it always seems so easy with ya'll...i hope that makes sense. there were other pictures...but i really look enormous in them...so i'm just posting this one.

i've really let myself go :)

vegas wedding

i always joke that as a kid, while most were getting up early sunday morning for sunday school, spencer and i were getting up early to head to hot springs for the horse races. there is a great picture of my dad, spencer and me posing with our binoculars, racing forms with their leather covers, highlighters and pens. and of course, we each had about 20 dollars to use for placing bets.

the memories from those trips are priceless. with dad's help, we would highlight the horses we liked...give dad money...and he'd go bet our horses. we could cash in our winning tickets...but we weren't old enough to place the bet. we'd always get lots of good food. and cokes and nachos.

we would sit in bill's box and watch the tvs until the horses got to the finish line...and we then had a really great view of them. we'd scream and yell...for our jockies and the horses that we liked. i think spencer usually chose based on the name of the horse...and i always chose based on the jockey. it was pat day. he was my very favorite.

and when the races were over, we'd walk across the street to eat at rocky's pizza. it's a bar that serves pizza and booze. the first place i ever had pizza that wasn't in slices. it was cut up into squares. we loved it. felt so big...and dad always made it feel like it wouldn't be the same if we weren't there.

a while back, dad went in with some guys to buy several horses. i'm not completely knowledgeable about this...but i think that most of them were babies..or young horses. i'm sure there's a term for that...but i don't know it. anyway, one of them ran at saratoga race track. it's a track that's in upstate new york. the horse ran this past monday.

her name is vegas wedding. she ran in the 10th race and she won!!! needless to say, my parents were thrilled. they were there, watching the race. and from what mom said, the track was pretty muddy from rain...and she came ahead at the very end of the race.




dad is on the far left. in the cute seersucker suit. look how happy he is!






here is vegas wedding.






here is the win photo with all the owners, jockey, etc. i love my parent's faces! they are so excited!


clint and i wish we could have been there dad. hopefully, one day soon you'll have one running in the kentucky derby! :) and then pratt can go too!

after school, mom decided to...

so last night i was filling out our baby book. i was inspired by my mom to do this because this weekend she brought my baby book to give to me.

i must say that i was very impressed by all that she did. somehow, she recorded my "firsts"...like first tooth, first haircut, first laugh, etc. i love going through and looking at the things that she kept. things she felt were important. notes from teachers, pictures, etc.

one of my favorite parts is where she said that on my first trip to the dentist, i had 8 cavities! yes! 8! and i was little. and so the next visit, i had 4 fillings...followed by 4 fillings at the second appointment. it's like i was always supposed to marry a dentist :)

back to our baby book. it said, "mom went to school at..." and left a line for me to write on. then right below that....it said, "after school, mom decided to..." and it literally left me like two lines to write on. they were small lines. not long. short.

come.on.

what am i supposed to say there? two lines!? that's all!?

how in two lines do you say....

couldn't figure out what to do with her life after graduation, so she moved home for a month. after her parents nearly killed her, she moved to little rock and got a job at the arkansas cancer research center working with mice. she worked there for a year and a half...and then was promoted to working for a man who wore leather pants and everyone felt was the nearest thing to Jesus himself. she actually witnessed a patient in the elevator touching his sleeve one day convinced that he would cure her on touch alone. then she fell in love with clint after one weekend, told him she was going to marry him, freaking him completely out. somehow he still liked her, she moved to memphis. she was hired as a science teacher in a public school. she was told it would be a group of "advanced students". she was lied to. she literally walked out of the school one day around 11 am. she drove home. and never went back. she received a paycheck for her three days...that totalled fifty dollars...something like that. after spending the fifty dollars, she spent the rest of her savings...hanging out at the swimming pool at her apartment. after about a month of living on noodles and tap water, she found a job at the university of tennessee cancer institute. she worked with breast cancer patients for about a year there. applied to medical school. got in. moved back to little rock. attended medical school for one year. had multiple nervous breakdowns. was put on antidepressants due to wanting to seriously jump off a bridge. cried at the drop of a hat. threw up constantly. secretly applied to uca for a masters in school psychology. interviewed for the masters program during spring break from medical school. quit medical school...basically just walked away with no further explanation...and obtained her masters in school psychology a year and a half. she decided that getting the masters seemed simple enough so why not punish herself even more and attempt a phd. went a year in the phd program...and found out she was knocked up. and now...dad's working his tail off...and mom is at home waiting on your arrival.

wonder how he'll take that. maybe that's too much information. maybe he'll run away from home once he gets old enough to read that and know that his mother is crazy.

it probably doesn't matter. he won't even know. genetically, he has no choice. :) even though my mom and dad think that the "pratt" genetics are pretty watered down by now. i disagree. it's running pretty strong in me.

maybe i just should have written...

"after school, mom decided to....be a life long learner".

simple enough.

our small group baby shower

our small group from church had a baby shower for us on saturday. it was extra special because not only was it a shower for pratt, but it was also my birthday! so i got to open lots and lots and lots of presents on my birthday!

the decorations were so cute! there were several diaper cakes...and all around the room, they had little boys clothing pinned up with clothespins on strings. so very, very cute! and the best part...all the clothes went home with us! and the diapers too!

the food table with a diaper cake and the cute, cute clothes!

rebekah, lins, chasity, amanda, brandy, allie and me. with the fabulous cake that said "welcome baby pratt"

me and lins.

mom and spencer guessing baby food.

nancy, grandma and misty.

mom feeding chandler lots and lots of cake and icing. she's so stinkin' cute.

trying to figure out the number of m&m's in the baby bottle.

thank you to my small group and lindsey for a wonderful shower. we have been so blessed to have you guys in our lives. it's so nice to know that we have ya'll...for questions of any sort :) and just like amanda said...i know that ya'll will be so helpful once this baby comes.

i love you girls so much.

prayer request

please keep my friend savannah and her husband jeremy in your prayers. savannah lost her father this past week...and then august 8th, jeremy lost his father.

i cannot imagine what they are going through. they have two children...and savannah is pregnant with the third.

lift them up in your prayers...i know they would greatly appreciate it.

pet portraits.

i know this won't mean nearly as much to any of you...but one of my very best friends from college, summer, painted a portrait of ace for me. when she was here a while back, she met him...and asked me to send her pictures of him by email so she could play around with painting his portrait.

i thought it'd be great for clint for a christmas present...so i had yet to say anything to him about it. well, yesterday, she sent me a picture of the portrait. i know that i'm super emotional right now...but i cried when i saw it. it looks just exactly like him. i showed it to clint because i knew there was no way i could keep it from him until christmas. it's just too good. i'm like that with gifts...if i get something that i'm excited about, i can't hardly wait to give it away.

anyway...we love this dog. you would too if you ever met him. he's the best. and i'm so excited about the picture.

this is the picture she used.

this is the portrait.

we love you summer!

what have i become?

so last night, i wake up around 430 am. at this point, i had been up to go to the bathroom four times already. and i didn't want to have to manuever myself out of the bed to go again. if you've never experienced this....it's not what you think. you can't just sit up and get out of bed.

no...instead, you have to roll onto your side (if you're not already there)...which sometimes means waiting on the numbness and tingling to cease. then you must push yourself up...and then carefully swing your feet over. it takes about two minutes to do. maybe three minutes.

anyway...i woke up and thought.."wonder what would happen if i just peed right here?"

yes. i really did think that. something like this went on in my head...

"if i peed...would it wake clint up? and if it did...would he be mad? or would there be some way for me to convince him that he's the one that peed...not me? would he fall for that?"

and then i decided that he'd probably leave me. probably wake up...and seriously leave me. at 430 am. he'd be so freaked out...that he'd just walk out the front door. no bag. no clothes. no nothing. just leave.

so i got up. but i didn't want to. but i did.

and now, in the early morning light...i'm glad i did.

prenatal massages

so i haven't been sleeping through the night. i've been waking up and staying awake for three to four hours. then sleeping for about 30 minutes...and then beginning the day.

several friends told me that i needed to get a prenatal massage. so i did it. on friday. it lasted an hour. and it was heaven on earth.

i slept through the night friday, waking only once at 1230. then last night, i slept through the night waking only at 530 am. which...i probably woke then because i'd had enough rest...but i got back in the bed until 7.

anyway...for all you pregnant people out there...when you start getting so uncomfortable that you can't sleep...it's worth the money to get a massage. trust me.