dear pratt,
i lost my grandparents when i was just a little girl. there are a few things i remember about them. but i'm unsure as to whether i remember them happening to me...or if i remember certain things because i've seen pictures or heard stories. i guess it doesn't really matter. either way, i hold those memories in a locked, hidden away part of my heart.
my mom had a good friend who was very much a grandmother to me. her name was joyce. joyce morgan. she lived on berg. her phone number ended in 6083. i know her address by heart too.
she always had the latest issue of people magazine. always. no one else had the magazine...but she always did. she watched knots landing. on the tv in the den. she made the best meatloaf ever.
we went to joyce's house for holidays. christmas. thanksgiving. mothers day. easter. her family was ours...and our family was hers.
she wrote me a sweet note that i still have in my box. it's typed. but she signed her name to it. in cursive.
she wrote it because a woman mistook her for my grandmother. it was joyce, cookie and me. i was a baby. and someone came up and said, "what a beautiful granddaughter you have." joyce thanked her...and said that she very much considered me her grandchild.
i wish you knew her. i wish she were still here. and i know that if i miss her as much as i do, i can only imagine how her children feel.
she had this gigantic life size puzzle that she would lay out on the floor for me and spencer. you could color on it. she would get down there with me and spencer and color until we basically fell asleep. she would let us watch tootsie. and she always had thin mint girl scout cookies in the refrigerator for me.
she had the best guest bathroom ever. a magazine rack full of magazines. toiletries for days. everything you could think of. my favorite was her exclamation powder. oh, and electric youth perfume. i bet i stunk with all that stuff on me. ha. at the time, i thought i was 18. so funny.
my most favorite memory is this...joyce gave the best gifts. and she did something that no one else did. on my birthday, she gave spencer a small present. and on spencer's birthday, she gave me a small present. and the note always read, "just a little something so you don't feel left out."
that was her. making sure no one felt left out.
today i missed her. i texted her daughter to tell her so. and deanna wrote back and said that tomorrow would be her birthday. i was at the mailbox when i got the text. i'm glad no one saw me, because i started to cry uncontrollably.
i miss her so much. and i wish she could meet you. i know you two would fall in love.
love, mom.
Monday, November 30, 2009
'round here.
well, we've been busy.
thursday was thanksgiving. friday was sugar's birthday. so she and i shopped black friday together for a few hours. i actually got a whole lot accomplished. which felt really, really good. i got the best wrapping paper from hobby lobby for only 4 bucks for a roll. and this stuff is huge. like, 300 feet or something.
clint kept pratt so that we could shop. i think next year, clint and i should start a tradition of shopping black friday together. i know that as we get older (and maybe have more kids), it would be fun to do this together. as our day. we have some friends who do it, and i think it's sweet.
we got our christmas decor up. we got a real tree this year! i LOVE real trees. i don't care that you have to water it. or that it's a fire hazard. there is something about a real, live christmas tree. we bought led lights, and i was really kind of proud of myself. thinking andy would be so proud of me...for the led lights...and then it hit me that enviromentally speaking, it's probably better to re-use a fake tree every year. i mean, if everyone in the world cut down a tree, then eventually we will have no trees. and between no trees and that plastic crap floating in the ocean...well, we're up dook creek. i'm just saying....
but andy, if you're reading this....we are using fake wreaths on all our windows. with red bows. they look fantastic. well, corey said they looked "neurotic"....but i think he meant to say "colonial". yep. that's what he meant to say.
we have been to home depot and lowes and walmart more in the past three days than ever before in pratt's life. honestly.
and you know those horrible big carts in home depot that look like race cars? yes. well, i swore i would never allow my child to ride in that. because from that point on, they will always ask for that cart. instead of the normal ones.
so...for the record...i didn't allow it. clint did. and please notice pratt's face. i mean, how excited is he? he LOVED it. great, just great...

pratt spent the night with cookie and poppy and sugar and spice in hot springs the night before thanksgiving. it was so nice because clint and i were able to eat out together and then clean the house. i think we finally fell asleep around 230 am. we were pooped.
here are a few pics of pratt from poppy. they are so funny. dad called to ask me if i ever fed him. apparently, they ate at outback. pratt had bread and butter. bloomin' onion. 3 chicken fingers. and fries.

at this point, he's done. (he throws his head back and says, "done!" so , so funny)

at some point, he knocked sugar's tea off the table. and then he bit her fingers as she was trying to push the buggy in lowes. figures. this is pratt.
we attempted to get a family picture for our christmas cards yesterday. i mean, we tried to take one with a tripod and clint's fancy office camera. but i gave up. it's too hard to try to keep a one year old kid from playing in the dirt when you're trying to angle the camera, get it in focus, set the auto timer. and meanwhile your husband thinks you're "as good as sarah bussey". um, yeah...i'm not. but isn't that sweet.
so that's what we've been doing. on to another very busy week!
have wonderful mondays!
thursday was thanksgiving. friday was sugar's birthday. so she and i shopped black friday together for a few hours. i actually got a whole lot accomplished. which felt really, really good. i got the best wrapping paper from hobby lobby for only 4 bucks for a roll. and this stuff is huge. like, 300 feet or something.
clint kept pratt so that we could shop. i think next year, clint and i should start a tradition of shopping black friday together. i know that as we get older (and maybe have more kids), it would be fun to do this together. as our day. we have some friends who do it, and i think it's sweet.
we got our christmas decor up. we got a real tree this year! i LOVE real trees. i don't care that you have to water it. or that it's a fire hazard. there is something about a real, live christmas tree. we bought led lights, and i was really kind of proud of myself. thinking andy would be so proud of me...for the led lights...and then it hit me that enviromentally speaking, it's probably better to re-use a fake tree every year. i mean, if everyone in the world cut down a tree, then eventually we will have no trees. and between no trees and that plastic crap floating in the ocean...well, we're up dook creek. i'm just saying....
but andy, if you're reading this....we are using fake wreaths on all our windows. with red bows. they look fantastic. well, corey said they looked "neurotic"....but i think he meant to say "colonial". yep. that's what he meant to say.
we have been to home depot and lowes and walmart more in the past three days than ever before in pratt's life. honestly.
and you know those horrible big carts in home depot that look like race cars? yes. well, i swore i would never allow my child to ride in that. because from that point on, they will always ask for that cart. instead of the normal ones.
so...for the record...i didn't allow it. clint did. and please notice pratt's face. i mean, how excited is he? he LOVED it. great, just great...

pratt spent the night with cookie and poppy and sugar and spice in hot springs the night before thanksgiving. it was so nice because clint and i were able to eat out together and then clean the house. i think we finally fell asleep around 230 am. we were pooped.
here are a few pics of pratt from poppy. they are so funny. dad called to ask me if i ever fed him. apparently, they ate at outback. pratt had bread and butter. bloomin' onion. 3 chicken fingers. and fries.

at this point, he's done. (he throws his head back and says, "done!" so , so funny)

at some point, he knocked sugar's tea off the table. and then he bit her fingers as she was trying to push the buggy in lowes. figures. this is pratt.
we attempted to get a family picture for our christmas cards yesterday. i mean, we tried to take one with a tripod and clint's fancy office camera. but i gave up. it's too hard to try to keep a one year old kid from playing in the dirt when you're trying to angle the camera, get it in focus, set the auto timer. and meanwhile your husband thinks you're "as good as sarah bussey". um, yeah...i'm not. but isn't that sweet.
so that's what we've been doing. on to another very busy week!
have wonderful mondays!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
thanksgiving.
oh where to start?
mom and i cooked tuesday. all day, folks. it took me hours to peel sweet potatoes. who knows. don't ask. well, it took less time than normal because we cooked them in the microwave. there's a secret.
and this is what pratt did.
duck, duck moose. well, the itsy bitsy spider.

we (and i use "we" lightly) made cornbread dressing. roasted asparagus. corn casserole. egg custard pie. scalloped sweet potatoes. green bean bundles. fresh fruit. turkey.
spencer brought a potato casserole that was delicious. and i actually did make homemade rolls. pretty much by myself. that's what i'm most proud of.
uncle jeff brought sweet potato pie and apple pie. and mom had a pecan pie too.
all the food was wonderful. pratt and i had such a wonderful time cooking with my mom. when we were wrapping everything up, they played on her phone. oh...and ate popcorn. cookie and pratt's new favorite food. yes. but as you can tell from the pictures, pratt refused the egg custard. i don't blame you one single bit, kid. it's nasty.

here are some pictures.
oh, jeff and jill and lindsay came. dad and mom. spencer and tyler. and ryp and kandy drove in from eureka. it was so nice to have everyone here.
and a special thanks to mom for dealing with my one oven. i know now the importance of a "double oven" on thanksgiving. thanks for not losing your mind, mom. and thanks for spending the entire day with us shopping and cooking. we had such a wonderful time.















that afternoon, we drove to doug and anda's for thanksgiving dinner. they have a beautiful home and it was the first time we've gotten to see it! nana and clint took pratt to see the goats! the kid could stay outside all day every day if we'd let him.


we had a wonderful thanksgiving holiday. we are so lucky to be so near our families. i know that it's not always the case. and so even though there is always driving involved, we're lucky we have the drive to make.
hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving too!
mom and i cooked tuesday. all day, folks. it took me hours to peel sweet potatoes. who knows. don't ask. well, it took less time than normal because we cooked them in the microwave. there's a secret.
and this is what pratt did.
duck, duck moose. well, the itsy bitsy spider.

we (and i use "we" lightly) made cornbread dressing. roasted asparagus. corn casserole. egg custard pie. scalloped sweet potatoes. green bean bundles. fresh fruit. turkey.
spencer brought a potato casserole that was delicious. and i actually did make homemade rolls. pretty much by myself. that's what i'm most proud of.
uncle jeff brought sweet potato pie and apple pie. and mom had a pecan pie too.
all the food was wonderful. pratt and i had such a wonderful time cooking with my mom. when we were wrapping everything up, they played on her phone. oh...and ate popcorn. cookie and pratt's new favorite food. yes. but as you can tell from the pictures, pratt refused the egg custard. i don't blame you one single bit, kid. it's nasty.

here are some pictures.
oh, jeff and jill and lindsay came. dad and mom. spencer and tyler. and ryp and kandy drove in from eureka. it was so nice to have everyone here.
and a special thanks to mom for dealing with my one oven. i know now the importance of a "double oven" on thanksgiving. thanks for not losing your mind, mom. and thanks for spending the entire day with us shopping and cooking. we had such a wonderful time.















that afternoon, we drove to doug and anda's for thanksgiving dinner. they have a beautiful home and it was the first time we've gotten to see it! nana and clint took pratt to see the goats! the kid could stay outside all day every day if we'd let him.


we had a wonderful thanksgiving holiday. we are so lucky to be so near our families. i know that it's not always the case. and so even though there is always driving involved, we're lucky we have the drive to make.
hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving too!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
dear pratt.
dear pratt,
today is your second thanksgiving. it's probably the best one so far for me. and i've been through thirty of them.
today is special for many, many reasons.
today is your second thanksgiving. it's probably the best one so far for me. and i've been through thirty of them.
today is special for many, many reasons.
here are a few.
i'm thankful for you and your daddy. our big family consisting of dad's family and my family. ace, yoda and scout.
i'm thankful for our friends. near and far. old and young.
i'm thankful for our church. our God. His forgiveness.
i'm thankful for days like today when i constantly remember the importance of giving thanks. we are blessed beyond measure.
my friend meredith has this verse on her table runner today. i think it's completely appropriate. and perfect for the day.
it comes from psalm. psalm 100: 4 through 5.
enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. for the Lord is good and His love endures forever, His faithfulness continues through the generations.
let's see. you're thankful for me and daddy. for your blanket and your pillow. for your own bed. for dora. and dj lance. for the box fan that sits outside your bedroom door and drowns out any and all sound.
you're thankful for chips. and cheese. and white rice. for footed pjs. for llama, llama red pajama.
i love you little man. thank you for giving me something else to be thankful for. what a blessing you are to me and your dad. and everyone else who loves you.
mommy.
oh, we did a little bit of artwork a few days ago. me, you and dad. here is a picture. i have one framed and sugar is getting one for her birthday. i asked your dad if he thought she would like it, as i was wrapping it last night. his exact response was, "of course she will. how could she not?"
i think that says it all.

i'm thankful for you and your daddy. our big family consisting of dad's family and my family. ace, yoda and scout.
i'm thankful for our friends. near and far. old and young.
i'm thankful for our church. our God. His forgiveness.
i'm thankful for days like today when i constantly remember the importance of giving thanks. we are blessed beyond measure.
my friend meredith has this verse on her table runner today. i think it's completely appropriate. and perfect for the day.
it comes from psalm. psalm 100: 4 through 5.
enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. for the Lord is good and His love endures forever, His faithfulness continues through the generations.
let's see. you're thankful for me and daddy. for your blanket and your pillow. for your own bed. for dora. and dj lance. for the box fan that sits outside your bedroom door and drowns out any and all sound.
you're thankful for chips. and cheese. and white rice. for footed pjs. for llama, llama red pajama.
i love you little man. thank you for giving me something else to be thankful for. what a blessing you are to me and your dad. and everyone else who loves you.
mommy.
oh, we did a little bit of artwork a few days ago. me, you and dad. here is a picture. i have one framed and sugar is getting one for her birthday. i asked your dad if he thought she would like it, as i was wrapping it last night. his exact response was, "of course she will. how could she not?"
i think that says it all.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
scout.
yesterday i caught an all day marathon on john mayer on the channel fuse. awesome. so, pratt and i popped popcorn and had "movie time" with the john mayer concert. it was his new cd. and the concert rocked both our faces off.

dad was late getting home from hunting. and i was pretty upset about it. i was. i was exhausted. and i'm pretty stingy with my weekends being a "family". so i'm not a good hunters wife.
pratt, ace and i decided to play outside in the front yard until he got home. we were having a few "cabin fever" issues. well, clint pulls up and gets out of the truck. i'm busy snapping pictures of pratt...and don't even look over at clint. but i hear him say, "it's a girl!!".
and i immediately think he has killed a girl deer. ugh. i hate deer hunting. i don't eat the meat because i think it tastes wild. like outside, wild. and so i don't see the point. i realize that it should be okay if you're eating the meat and all...but i just plain don't like it.
i don't like guns. or the "sport" of hunting. if you can even call it that. i mean, men set up deer feeders. hide themselves in camo. and sit up in the trees waiting on a deer to walk by. yeah...totally "sport" to me.
not.
sport is tennis. or basketball. or even football. sport is practice. and sitting in a tree waiting on something to come up and eat because you've set up a feeder is not sport. it's called given. it's called a plan.
what.ev.
okay. back to my story. so i'm thinking clint is pulling up with a dead deer. but no. he has a puppy dog!!!
yes, the puppy dog is a girl!
clint had been wanting a dog for many months. we have ace and clint thought ace needed a friend. so, ace now has a friend. a little girl. i've named her scout. after scout finch. and i think it might be my best animal name ever. i mean, it's a great name. named after a great literary character and it fits. she is a hunting dog. and scout means "to find, search, hunt", right? perfect.
here she is meeting pratt and ace.



ace and scout now reside in our backyard. that means no more dog hair for me...but lots of worry about ace becoming an outdoor dog. he's never been an outdoor dog. last night he did really well. never whined. i think it's because she's with him and she's never known any different. i believe she's 6 weeks old.
i tried not to get attached to her because then i'll just worry more, but i can't stop myself. she's adorable.
here everyone is playing.


and finally, here is my new favorite picture of pratt. so precious.

dad was late getting home from hunting. and i was pretty upset about it. i was. i was exhausted. and i'm pretty stingy with my weekends being a "family". so i'm not a good hunters wife.
pratt, ace and i decided to play outside in the front yard until he got home. we were having a few "cabin fever" issues. well, clint pulls up and gets out of the truck. i'm busy snapping pictures of pratt...and don't even look over at clint. but i hear him say, "it's a girl!!".
and i immediately think he has killed a girl deer. ugh. i hate deer hunting. i don't eat the meat because i think it tastes wild. like outside, wild. and so i don't see the point. i realize that it should be okay if you're eating the meat and all...but i just plain don't like it.
i don't like guns. or the "sport" of hunting. if you can even call it that. i mean, men set up deer feeders. hide themselves in camo. and sit up in the trees waiting on a deer to walk by. yeah...totally "sport" to me.
not.
sport is tennis. or basketball. or even football. sport is practice. and sitting in a tree waiting on something to come up and eat because you've set up a feeder is not sport. it's called given. it's called a plan.
what.ev.
okay. back to my story. so i'm thinking clint is pulling up with a dead deer. but no. he has a puppy dog!!!
yes, the puppy dog is a girl!
clint had been wanting a dog for many months. we have ace and clint thought ace needed a friend. so, ace now has a friend. a little girl. i've named her scout. after scout finch. and i think it might be my best animal name ever. i mean, it's a great name. named after a great literary character and it fits. she is a hunting dog. and scout means "to find, search, hunt", right? perfect.
here she is meeting pratt and ace.



ace and scout now reside in our backyard. that means no more dog hair for me...but lots of worry about ace becoming an outdoor dog. he's never been an outdoor dog. last night he did really well. never whined. i think it's because she's with him and she's never known any different. i believe she's 6 weeks old.
i tried not to get attached to her because then i'll just worry more, but i can't stop myself. she's adorable.
here everyone is playing.


and finally, here is my new favorite picture of pratt. so precious.
Friday, November 20, 2009
chatty pratty.
that's what this little boy has become.
in the past two days, pratt has turned into this new little kid. he answers "yes" and "no" appropriately. used to, everything was "no".
now, he knows the difference. or at least, it seems like he does.
yesterday we went to target early. like around 9. he was perfect there. we got in the car, and i told him we were going to see his daddy. but, we needed to go to the courthouse first, so when we got there...i explained where we were and that we were detouring but would see dad soon. we looked at the christmas decorations and lights at the courthouse. he was fine.
it only took about 5 minutes to do what we needed there, so as soon as i opened the car door, he started crying. he didn't want to go back into the car. he had just gotten out. so i said, "pratt, i know buddy. but we're going to your dad's office! don't you want to go see dad?"
y'all. i promise, he looked up at me with the saddest face and shook his head yes.
so i said, "okay, well...how about we stop crying so we have a clean face for dad?"
and the kid totally wiped his eyes and smiled at me.
hilarious.
then last night he mastered "mmmmm" for a cow sound. (think "moooo" only no "ew"). and what does a sheep say...he says, "ahhhh" for "bah"...only no "b".
and he will say "cheese" when he sees you cutting it up. (the real thing...not gas. bahahaha.) and of course, dog and cat. and tick tock for clock. and dad. because he's said that since he was like in the womb.
oh, and when we walk in the backdoor and ace greets us, he'll say "hiiiiii" in the highest voice i've ever heard.
what a joy!
enjoy your weekends!
in the past two days, pratt has turned into this new little kid. he answers "yes" and "no" appropriately. used to, everything was "no".
now, he knows the difference. or at least, it seems like he does.
yesterday we went to target early. like around 9. he was perfect there. we got in the car, and i told him we were going to see his daddy. but, we needed to go to the courthouse first, so when we got there...i explained where we were and that we were detouring but would see dad soon. we looked at the christmas decorations and lights at the courthouse. he was fine.
it only took about 5 minutes to do what we needed there, so as soon as i opened the car door, he started crying. he didn't want to go back into the car. he had just gotten out. so i said, "pratt, i know buddy. but we're going to your dad's office! don't you want to go see dad?"
y'all. i promise, he looked up at me with the saddest face and shook his head yes.
so i said, "okay, well...how about we stop crying so we have a clean face for dad?"
and the kid totally wiped his eyes and smiled at me.
hilarious.
then last night he mastered "mmmmm" for a cow sound. (think "moooo" only no "ew"). and what does a sheep say...he says, "ahhhh" for "bah"...only no "b".
and he will say "cheese" when he sees you cutting it up. (the real thing...not gas. bahahaha.) and of course, dog and cat. and tick tock for clock. and dad. because he's said that since he was like in the womb.
oh, and when we walk in the backdoor and ace greets us, he'll say "hiiiiii" in the highest voice i've ever heard.
what a joy!
enjoy your weekends!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
dear pratt.
dear pratt,
i was listening to itunes...to john mayer (who you love), when my playlist hit a song called godspeed by the dixie chicks. it's about little boys. and other things...but my words would pale in comparison. so you'll just need to listen to the song. maybe type out the lyrics. that always helps me. then i get the big picture. or at least...what it means to me. as a smart musician named rob thomas said...great songs means different things to different people. he's so wise.
the song got me feeling tearful...and maybe joyful too. hopeful, maybe.
i started thinking about something. something i want to tell you.
first, i always said that when i had kids, i'd be honest about my past. so i'm sticking with that. you can ask me whatever...and i'll answer. i hope that you can learn from some of my mistakes. 'cause i'm pretty sure your dad hasn't ever made any. i'm serious. you're lucky...i've made a million. so you'll never feel alone in this house.
ever tell a lie? me too.
ever hurt someones feelings? me too.
ever not finish medical school/graduate school/etc? me too.
ever stolen a mickey mouse backpack from disney world? me...oh wait. no...not me. that's sugar. ask her about that.
anyway, you've started doing this thing. where when something excites you, or scares you...or anywhere in between really, your eyes get really big and you wobble your way over to me. if i'm on the floor (which i usually am), you will wrap your arms so tightly around my neck. and then you'll lean in for a kiss.
it's, hands down, one of the sweetest things you've ever done. and it's probably my favorite thing you do. yes, it is. it's so innocent. so loving. so kind. and all you want in return is for me to hug you back. and kiss you.
you'll never know what this affection means to me.
i know, without a doubt, that you love me. no strings attached.
you don't love me because i cook for you. or because i clean your nose. or because i wash your clothes. or because i change the worst poop diapers ever.
no, you love me just because. just because i'm your mom. just because i'm me.
i haven't always had that.
i haven't always had someone love me just for being me. most girls have experienced this at some point in their lives. and maybe most boys too. yes, probably most everyone.
there have been times when i thought i should be skinny. or pretty. or be able to sing. or be taller. or shorter. or smarter. or wear more trendy clothes. or give more. or give less. or just be anything in the world besides myself.
but not now. i don't feel like i have to be anything more than myself for you and your daddy to love me.
and for me...for my nature...for my tendancy and my desire to please everyone around me...this is so relaxing. and comfortable. and wonderful.
so thank you. thank you for loving me. for loving me without strings. for loving me just because. for loving me whether we live here in this house...or in a box down by the river.
i'm not silly enough to think that you will always love me so openly. or that there won't be times when you don't feel like you love me.
so in those times, get this out and read it.
and know that no matter what...i love you.
and i always will. no strings attached.
i won't base my love for you on what you do with your life. or who you spend your life with. or on what you give me for mothers day. or how often you hug my neck.
nope. i will love you because you're you. because you're my little boy.
mostly, i'll love you because He loved us first. and because of His love, i know how to love too.
always and forever. x's and o's.
mommy.
i was listening to itunes...to john mayer (who you love), when my playlist hit a song called godspeed by the dixie chicks. it's about little boys. and other things...but my words would pale in comparison. so you'll just need to listen to the song. maybe type out the lyrics. that always helps me. then i get the big picture. or at least...what it means to me. as a smart musician named rob thomas said...great songs means different things to different people. he's so wise.
the song got me feeling tearful...and maybe joyful too. hopeful, maybe.
i started thinking about something. something i want to tell you.
first, i always said that when i had kids, i'd be honest about my past. so i'm sticking with that. you can ask me whatever...and i'll answer. i hope that you can learn from some of my mistakes. 'cause i'm pretty sure your dad hasn't ever made any. i'm serious. you're lucky...i've made a million. so you'll never feel alone in this house.
ever tell a lie? me too.
ever hurt someones feelings? me too.
ever not finish medical school/graduate school/etc? me too.
ever stolen a mickey mouse backpack from disney world? me...oh wait. no...not me. that's sugar. ask her about that.
anyway, you've started doing this thing. where when something excites you, or scares you...or anywhere in between really, your eyes get really big and you wobble your way over to me. if i'm on the floor (which i usually am), you will wrap your arms so tightly around my neck. and then you'll lean in for a kiss.
it's, hands down, one of the sweetest things you've ever done. and it's probably my favorite thing you do. yes, it is. it's so innocent. so loving. so kind. and all you want in return is for me to hug you back. and kiss you.
you'll never know what this affection means to me.
i know, without a doubt, that you love me. no strings attached.
you don't love me because i cook for you. or because i clean your nose. or because i wash your clothes. or because i change the worst poop diapers ever.
no, you love me just because. just because i'm your mom. just because i'm me.
i haven't always had that.
i haven't always had someone love me just for being me. most girls have experienced this at some point in their lives. and maybe most boys too. yes, probably most everyone.
there have been times when i thought i should be skinny. or pretty. or be able to sing. or be taller. or shorter. or smarter. or wear more trendy clothes. or give more. or give less. or just be anything in the world besides myself.
but not now. i don't feel like i have to be anything more than myself for you and your daddy to love me.
and for me...for my nature...for my tendancy and my desire to please everyone around me...this is so relaxing. and comfortable. and wonderful.
so thank you. thank you for loving me. for loving me without strings. for loving me just because. for loving me whether we live here in this house...or in a box down by the river.
i'm not silly enough to think that you will always love me so openly. or that there won't be times when you don't feel like you love me.
so in those times, get this out and read it.
and know that no matter what...i love you.
and i always will. no strings attached.
i won't base my love for you on what you do with your life. or who you spend your life with. or on what you give me for mothers day. or how often you hug my neck.
nope. i will love you because you're you. because you're my little boy.
mostly, i'll love you because He loved us first. and because of His love, i know how to love too.
always and forever. x's and o's.
mommy.
moms-n-more.
last summer, i was invited by my sweet friend mandy to join her moms-n-more group. i was so excited about getting to know the girls in the group...and mostly, i was excited about girl time. and a breakfast un-interrupted, as pratt would be in the nursery!
unless you've experienced attempting to eat while also parenting a young, small child...you can't fully understand how complex eating can be. i've said many times, eating really isn't enjoyable anymore. that may sound horrible...but it's true. i'm too busy cutting up strawberries, or catching a falling sippy cup. or asking him to please stop feeding ace. or making him sit in his highchair. yes. all of those things constantly.
one thing about this "nursery". it's hardly a nursery. this church...well, it's unreal. they have an entire children's wing of the church. there are like four hallways with four classrooms. that's like 16 classrooms. and they are all "ocean" themed. it's unreal, you guys. totally unreal.
so, what i never knew about moms-n-more would be the blessing that it brought to my life over the past few months. from august to now.
we are just a group of girls....all from different backgrounds...who meet with two leaders (two older women who have experienced being moms...and more). these women are wonderful. they are loving. supportive. understanding. so far from ever being judgemental.
i don't know how i managed to be a mom for so long without this "support group". without daily remembering that pratt is not really my child at all...but he is God's child. he has been given to me and clint to raise. but he isn't really ours. he, just like me and clint...he is a child of God. and i'm responsible for raising him in a home that glorifies God...
this means...oh, so much. it means that my relationship with other people, mostly my relationship with clint must glorify Him. because pratt will see that.
this semester we studied a book that discussed common myths that we have about raising children. i think next semester will be on a james dobson book.
anyway, i wanted to say thank you to mandy for inviting me. i don't know what made her ask me...but i'm ever so thankful that she did. what a blessing she has been to me...and pratt...and clint, too. so thank you mandy. thank you for letting me be a part of something so very special.
here is our wonderful group at our brunch. this was our last meeting for the semester. these girls are the best!

one thing about this "nursery". it's hardly a nursery. this church...well, it's unreal. they have an entire children's wing of the church. there are like four hallways with four classrooms. that's like 16 classrooms. and they are all "ocean" themed. it's unreal, you guys. totally unreal.
so, what i never knew about moms-n-more would be the blessing that it brought to my life over the past few months. from august to now.
we are just a group of girls....all from different backgrounds...who meet with two leaders (two older women who have experienced being moms...and more). these women are wonderful. they are loving. supportive. understanding. so far from ever being judgemental.
i don't know how i managed to be a mom for so long without this "support group". without daily remembering that pratt is not really my child at all...but he is God's child. he has been given to me and clint to raise. but he isn't really ours. he, just like me and clint...he is a child of God. and i'm responsible for raising him in a home that glorifies God...
this means...oh, so much. it means that my relationship with other people, mostly my relationship with clint must glorify Him. because pratt will see that.
this semester we studied a book that discussed common myths that we have about raising children. i think next semester will be on a james dobson book.
anyway, i wanted to say thank you to mandy for inviting me. i don't know what made her ask me...but i'm ever so thankful that she did. what a blessing she has been to me...and pratt...and clint, too. so thank you mandy. thank you for letting me be a part of something so very special.
here is our wonderful group at our brunch. this was our last meeting for the semester. these girls are the best!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009
happy.
pratt is a pretty happy kid. most always.
i never want to forget this. forget what it feels like to have a happy kid. because i'm sure that one day he'll slam doors and lock himself in his room. and let me just say this...i am not afraid to take the doors off the hinges around here. i hate slamming doors. call me father tribou if you want...i don't care.
anyway, all that to say that i want to always remember how happy he is right at this very moment. as clint said the other night, the best is when you look down and seeing him looking at you...and you smile at him...and immediately his entire face grins.
and he is completely intrigued that by pulling on one end of the blinds, you can either open or close them. he could do this all day long.



i never want to forget this. forget what it feels like to have a happy kid. because i'm sure that one day he'll slam doors and lock himself in his room. and let me just say this...i am not afraid to take the doors off the hinges around here. i hate slamming doors. call me father tribou if you want...i don't care.
anyway, all that to say that i want to always remember how happy he is right at this very moment. as clint said the other night, the best is when you look down and seeing him looking at you...and you smile at him...and immediately his entire face grins.
and he is completely intrigued that by pulling on one end of the blinds, you can either open or close them. he could do this all day long.



being thankful.
so i have this friend bethany.
i met her in graduate school. i have always thought so much of her.
from the outside, she's all that i've ever wanted to be. so pretty. with these gigantic eyes. and a smile that makes you immediately feel at ease. she's just beautiful.
on the inside...amazingly, she's just as wonderful. she's kind. she's sweet. she gives warm hugs. she constantly smiles. and asks how your day is. she sends you messages on facebook asking what she can pray for. not because you've asked her...just because she loves her friends.
she makes meal plans for the week. and inspired me to do the same (only, i'm pretty sure she sticks with hers). she clips coupons. and to me...is the coupon queen. she understands register rewards at walgreens. that, my friends...makes her brilliant.
i've never met her husband, but feel like i know him from their blog. his name is ben. they have a little boy, jackson...and she's pregnant with another sweet boy now.
i'm telling you all this because i just read something on her blog that i think you all should read.
it's something that touched me...overwhelmed me. one of those "truth moments". you know, where you get goosebumps.
it's written by her husband.
i think husbands...and fathers...tend to get bad raps. i mean, i know i'm guilty of this. i forget to see how great clint is. how helpful he is. how he gets up and works his tail off for us. how he has provided for me since the day we married. how he constantly puts me and pratt before himself.
ben wrote something that i think we all should read. here it is...
a blessed house.
enjoy. and thank you to ben. thank you for reminding me of something i too often, take for granted.
i met her in graduate school. i have always thought so much of her.
from the outside, she's all that i've ever wanted to be. so pretty. with these gigantic eyes. and a smile that makes you immediately feel at ease. she's just beautiful.
on the inside...amazingly, she's just as wonderful. she's kind. she's sweet. she gives warm hugs. she constantly smiles. and asks how your day is. she sends you messages on facebook asking what she can pray for. not because you've asked her...just because she loves her friends.
she makes meal plans for the week. and inspired me to do the same (only, i'm pretty sure she sticks with hers). she clips coupons. and to me...is the coupon queen. she understands register rewards at walgreens. that, my friends...makes her brilliant.
i've never met her husband, but feel like i know him from their blog. his name is ben. they have a little boy, jackson...and she's pregnant with another sweet boy now.
i'm telling you all this because i just read something on her blog that i think you all should read.
it's something that touched me...overwhelmed me. one of those "truth moments". you know, where you get goosebumps.
it's written by her husband.
i think husbands...and fathers...tend to get bad raps. i mean, i know i'm guilty of this. i forget to see how great clint is. how helpful he is. how he gets up and works his tail off for us. how he has provided for me since the day we married. how he constantly puts me and pratt before himself.
ben wrote something that i think we all should read. here it is...
a blessed house.
enjoy. and thank you to ben. thank you for reminding me of something i too often, take for granted.
Monday, November 16, 2009
fourteen months.
fourteen. one and four. one plus four is five. five is probably the best number ever. well, no...that's not right. three is the best number ever. but five is close.
because of this, i'm confident that fourteen is my favorite month so far. granted, i've only had three days of it...but they've been wonderful days.
i go from thinking he's super big...to being amazed just how small he is. i mean, he's so skinny. and little. yet, so grown up. it's weird.
he gets excited when he walks and starts to laugh and then moves faster and faster until he falls. he would rather crawl because it's just plain faster. i don't blame him. he can crawl faster than i can walk. honestly, he can.
he continues to be a good eater. his new favorite food is french fries. ANYTIME we go to sonic, i get him fries. as soon as the bag is in our window, he starts whinning from the backseat. he totally smells the fries. and he wants to have one in each hand. i don't blame him. one to eat, and one in reserve. smart kid. he still loves fruit and prefers it to anything else. strawberries are his favorite. and people, trust me on this...organic strawberries stay fresher longer. yes, they really do. promise. we go through 4 to 5 cartoons a week. that's a lot of strawberries.
he loves to read books. his favorite is still "llama, llama, red pajama". but he likes pretty much anything. but he'll sit through that entire book. he mocks the mom waving good night, talking on the phone and the llama's eyes when he gets scared. when we're on the floor of the living room, i can say "go get a book for us to read, pratt" and then make the sign for book...and he'll crawl over, open the cabinet and pull a book off the shelf. and then he'll (attempt) to bring it back to me while crawling. he'll crawl up in my lap and sit really still. waiting on me to start.
if i'm reading him the book, he will constantly look up at clint to make faces at him. and smile and point at the book. like, he wants more than anything else for clint to be a part of our reading. it's so incredibly sweet. if clint is reading, he does the same thing to me.
this is a constant reminder of what it means for clint and me to get along. i mean, pratt sees every single interaction between us. and knows when something is off. the child loves nothing more than the three of us to be so close together. sitting close. talking close. whatever. just being close.
he finally likes the ball popper than coco gave him for his birthday. he was terrified of it at first. but now he loves it. and it keeps him occupied for several minutes. this is a miracle.
he still isn't really crazy about tv. which is bizarre. i could watch it all day long. he will tolerate about 2 minutes...and the moves on to something else.
the other night clint was getting him ready for bed...their nightly ritual. a bath and pj time. oh, and pratt's favorite (sike) brushing his teeth. clint started screaming for me to come up. clint said, "one..." and pratt goes, "two. three". i mean, not like you or i would say it...but it sounded like "two.three". hilarious. mom got him these dvd's called "meet the numbers" and he LOVES them. they just repeat the numbers over and over again...but somehow they keep his attention.
oh, he loves "pat the bunny". before you can even begin reading the page to him, he's acting it out. patting the bunny, looking in the mirror. playing peek a boo...feeling daddy's scratchy face. putting his finger through mammy's ring. smelling the flowers. that's totally his favorite. he leans over and sniffs with all this might. so, so funny.
when you get him up from a nap, he leans into you for a kiss. it's the sweetest thing.
he's stopped hitting. mostly. thank goodness you were all right. it seems to have been a phase.
he still kisses ace and yoda. and for some odd reason, yoda lets him. it's like he knows he has to be more kind and more gentle with her. i dunno.
going to the grocery store is one of my favorite things to do with him. he's such a hoot there. he smiles at everyone. and most people compliment him on how happy he is. there is nothing better to say to me than that. isn't that what we all want? what we all desire? for our children to be happy. i do. and so it's wonderful to hear others say that about him. no matter how much he has eaten before the grocery store trip, he ALWAYS wants a banana when we get there. he calls them "mama". i don't know. he doesn't call me "mama." maybe he can't say his "n's".
i'll just say this. if that kid calls "bananas", "mamas" and calls his own mother "banana"...i will not answer. my child will not call me banana. it takes me back to that yellow unitard my mom dressed me in in the 5th grade. and i had on those darn "bloomies" underwear. from bloomingdales. oh how horrible. you could see straight through that outfit. it was a multiples brand. remember those? had holes under the armpits.
he is at a weird place with his naps. somedays he can go without his morning nap. and he will nap only once. from 12 to 3. other days, he needs a morning nap. he'll do 9 to 11 and 2 to 330. i didn't think i'd be a big fan of the one nap. but it's working. it seems that he is sleeping later with only one nap. he sleeps til around 8. instead of waking at 7. that's typical from what i read in my book.
new tricks. um, when he sees the alligator in his eric carle book...i think it's from head to toe, he points at his new nightlight. it's a dinosaur. but i think it's genius. i mean, they are both green. and yes, they are both totally ancient animals. weren't the alligators around with the dinosaurs? or maybe they came from the dinos? something like that.
he crawls up and down the stairs. he's mastered going up. going down is difficult if he has one pants. or socks. he needs traction.
he loves to hide in the cabinets and "play" with his animals. most recently the horse and razorback. he loves to open and shut cabinet doors. my bathroom, the kitchen, the den. all over. wherever he can find them. if you're in his way while he's trying to shut something, he will complain.
because of this, i'm confident that fourteen is my favorite month so far. granted, i've only had three days of it...but they've been wonderful days.
i go from thinking he's super big...to being amazed just how small he is. i mean, he's so skinny. and little. yet, so grown up. it's weird.
he gets excited when he walks and starts to laugh and then moves faster and faster until he falls. he would rather crawl because it's just plain faster. i don't blame him. he can crawl faster than i can walk. honestly, he can.
he continues to be a good eater. his new favorite food is french fries. ANYTIME we go to sonic, i get him fries. as soon as the bag is in our window, he starts whinning from the backseat. he totally smells the fries. and he wants to have one in each hand. i don't blame him. one to eat, and one in reserve. smart kid. he still loves fruit and prefers it to anything else. strawberries are his favorite. and people, trust me on this...organic strawberries stay fresher longer. yes, they really do. promise. we go through 4 to 5 cartoons a week. that's a lot of strawberries.
he loves to read books. his favorite is still "llama, llama, red pajama". but he likes pretty much anything. but he'll sit through that entire book. he mocks the mom waving good night, talking on the phone and the llama's eyes when he gets scared. when we're on the floor of the living room, i can say "go get a book for us to read, pratt" and then make the sign for book...and he'll crawl over, open the cabinet and pull a book off the shelf. and then he'll (attempt) to bring it back to me while crawling. he'll crawl up in my lap and sit really still. waiting on me to start.
if i'm reading him the book, he will constantly look up at clint to make faces at him. and smile and point at the book. like, he wants more than anything else for clint to be a part of our reading. it's so incredibly sweet. if clint is reading, he does the same thing to me.
this is a constant reminder of what it means for clint and me to get along. i mean, pratt sees every single interaction between us. and knows when something is off. the child loves nothing more than the three of us to be so close together. sitting close. talking close. whatever. just being close.
he finally likes the ball popper than coco gave him for his birthday. he was terrified of it at first. but now he loves it. and it keeps him occupied for several minutes. this is a miracle.
he still isn't really crazy about tv. which is bizarre. i could watch it all day long. he will tolerate about 2 minutes...and the moves on to something else.
the other night clint was getting him ready for bed...their nightly ritual. a bath and pj time. oh, and pratt's favorite (sike) brushing his teeth. clint started screaming for me to come up. clint said, "one..." and pratt goes, "two. three". i mean, not like you or i would say it...but it sounded like "two.three". hilarious. mom got him these dvd's called "meet the numbers" and he LOVES them. they just repeat the numbers over and over again...but somehow they keep his attention.
oh, he loves "pat the bunny". before you can even begin reading the page to him, he's acting it out. patting the bunny, looking in the mirror. playing peek a boo...feeling daddy's scratchy face. putting his finger through mammy's ring. smelling the flowers. that's totally his favorite. he leans over and sniffs with all this might. so, so funny.
when you get him up from a nap, he leans into you for a kiss. it's the sweetest thing.
he's stopped hitting. mostly. thank goodness you were all right. it seems to have been a phase.
he still kisses ace and yoda. and for some odd reason, yoda lets him. it's like he knows he has to be more kind and more gentle with her. i dunno.
going to the grocery store is one of my favorite things to do with him. he's such a hoot there. he smiles at everyone. and most people compliment him on how happy he is. there is nothing better to say to me than that. isn't that what we all want? what we all desire? for our children to be happy. i do. and so it's wonderful to hear others say that about him. no matter how much he has eaten before the grocery store trip, he ALWAYS wants a banana when we get there. he calls them "mama". i don't know. he doesn't call me "mama." maybe he can't say his "n's".
i'll just say this. if that kid calls "bananas", "mamas" and calls his own mother "banana"...i will not answer. my child will not call me banana. it takes me back to that yellow unitard my mom dressed me in in the 5th grade. and i had on those darn "bloomies" underwear. from bloomingdales. oh how horrible. you could see straight through that outfit. it was a multiples brand. remember those? had holes under the armpits.
he is at a weird place with his naps. somedays he can go without his morning nap. and he will nap only once. from 12 to 3. other days, he needs a morning nap. he'll do 9 to 11 and 2 to 330. i didn't think i'd be a big fan of the one nap. but it's working. it seems that he is sleeping later with only one nap. he sleeps til around 8. instead of waking at 7. that's typical from what i read in my book.
new tricks. um, when he sees the alligator in his eric carle book...i think it's from head to toe, he points at his new nightlight. it's a dinosaur. but i think it's genius. i mean, they are both green. and yes, they are both totally ancient animals. weren't the alligators around with the dinosaurs? or maybe they came from the dinos? something like that.
he crawls up and down the stairs. he's mastered going up. going down is difficult if he has one pants. or socks. he needs traction.
he loves to hide in the cabinets and "play" with his animals. most recently the horse and razorback. he loves to open and shut cabinet doors. my bathroom, the kitchen, the den. all over. wherever he can find them. if you're in his way while he's trying to shut something, he will complain.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
dear pratt.
dear pratt,
we have had a wonderful few days. today, probably being one of the best.
we went to the zoo...and you LOVED it!
your daddy was so excited about seeing the zebras, giraffes and the lions with you. why? well, because you have three little canvases in your bathroom that the two of you discuss after your bath every night. dad tells you what they are, and then you mock the sounds back to him.
and then you turn off your bathroom light. clap for yourself and then walk into the hallway to point to the picture of our little family taken at chuck-e-cheese's. at madeline's birthday party. you love the picture. you point to each of us...and make a "d" sound. so funny.
anyway, back to the zoo. we went to church this morning and then immediately afterwards, drove into town to the zoo. we ate lunch on dad's tailgate. you had a hot dog and fries. and then we went on in. i apologize now for the two pictures i have. because it was a spur of the moment trip, i didn't have my camera. so daddy's phone worked as our camera for the day.

this was your first time there. you'd been to the zoo in chicago, but you were so much younger then.
your daddy carried you everywhere. we had a stroller, but it was useless. you couldn't see anything from the stroller. let's see. what all did you get to see.
the python. the bald eagles. totally depressed me for the entire day. their wings had been injured in the wild so they couldn't fly. so, so sad. zebras. giraffes...you LOVED them. i think it's because of their long necks. and they seem so sweet. the lions and tigers. no bears. the rhinos. the wart hogs. the anteater. which might be the worst looking animal ever. the dik dik. which looks like a miniature deer. it was tiny. and seemed quite nervous. you saw otter. one was trying to escape his den. (i hardly blame him). bush dogs. which were not impressive at all. i might as well look at stroker ace fulks all day. and porcupine. and they were hilarious. there were two of them. and they started fighting. those bristles look sharp too. woo wee. we saw elephants from a distance.
and of course...my all time favorite....THE MONKEYS!
i love monkeys. we saw spider monkeys. and something called a siamang. which loved us. i think. i mean, he kept showing out. swinging from branch to branch. we saw a few gorillas. or maybe just one, i think. we were in a hurry to leave because i had to be back home by 2.
but before we left...we made sure you got to ride on the zoo train! i can remember riding on that thing when i was little. or maybe i can just remember the pictures. either way, it was definately the highlight of your day. you kept switching from sitting with me, to sitting with your daddy.

the train and the giraffes. two of your favorites.
we love you so much. and we never knew the joy that could come from raising a child. had we known, we would have married long ago...and started this way back when.
when you grow up, and have a family of your own, you'll understand what it means to have a day at the zoo. it honestly could not have been better. it was a perfect, perfect day. in every sense of the word.
we love you pumpkin.
we have had a wonderful few days. today, probably being one of the best.
we went to the zoo...and you LOVED it!
your daddy was so excited about seeing the zebras, giraffes and the lions with you. why? well, because you have three little canvases in your bathroom that the two of you discuss after your bath every night. dad tells you what they are, and then you mock the sounds back to him.
and then you turn off your bathroom light. clap for yourself and then walk into the hallway to point to the picture of our little family taken at chuck-e-cheese's. at madeline's birthday party. you love the picture. you point to each of us...and make a "d" sound. so funny.
anyway, back to the zoo. we went to church this morning and then immediately afterwards, drove into town to the zoo. we ate lunch on dad's tailgate. you had a hot dog and fries. and then we went on in. i apologize now for the two pictures i have. because it was a spur of the moment trip, i didn't have my camera. so daddy's phone worked as our camera for the day.

this was your first time there. you'd been to the zoo in chicago, but you were so much younger then.
your daddy carried you everywhere. we had a stroller, but it was useless. you couldn't see anything from the stroller. let's see. what all did you get to see.
the python. the bald eagles. totally depressed me for the entire day. their wings had been injured in the wild so they couldn't fly. so, so sad. zebras. giraffes...you LOVED them. i think it's because of their long necks. and they seem so sweet. the lions and tigers. no bears. the rhinos. the wart hogs. the anteater. which might be the worst looking animal ever. the dik dik. which looks like a miniature deer. it was tiny. and seemed quite nervous. you saw otter. one was trying to escape his den. (i hardly blame him). bush dogs. which were not impressive at all. i might as well look at stroker ace fulks all day. and porcupine. and they were hilarious. there were two of them. and they started fighting. those bristles look sharp too. woo wee. we saw elephants from a distance.
and of course...my all time favorite....THE MONKEYS!
i love monkeys. we saw spider monkeys. and something called a siamang. which loved us. i think. i mean, he kept showing out. swinging from branch to branch. we saw a few gorillas. or maybe just one, i think. we were in a hurry to leave because i had to be back home by 2.
but before we left...we made sure you got to ride on the zoo train! i can remember riding on that thing when i was little. or maybe i can just remember the pictures. either way, it was definately the highlight of your day. you kept switching from sitting with me, to sitting with your daddy.

the train and the giraffes. two of your favorites.
we love you so much. and we never knew the joy that could come from raising a child. had we known, we would have married long ago...and started this way back when.
when you grow up, and have a family of your own, you'll understand what it means to have a day at the zoo. it honestly could not have been better. it was a perfect, perfect day. in every sense of the word.
we love you pumpkin.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
radio flyer.





so, he's not quite big enough for it now...but that doesn't stop him from pointing at it and crawling over to it.
it's hard to believe that someday, all too soon, he will be able to ride this. as opposed to me pushing him around while he rests his feet on the middle bar.
this is my favorite picture. it shows just how little he is.
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you know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. - dr. seuss
About Me
- hannah
- i'm a girl who likes to write. not a girl that's necessarily good at writing. it's cathartic, i think. and boy do i need that from time to time. i married a wonderful man named clint in may of 2007. he is everything i am not. he is calm. he makes plans. he is organized. his truck is always clean. his clothes are hung by types of shirt/color/size/etc. i'm full of nervous energy. i'm spur of the moment. i can't ever find what i'm looking for. we live in my car...pretty much. i'm lucky if my clothes are within ten feet of my closet. God gave us a precious angel of a baby in september of 2008. his name is pratt allen. he is 2.5 years old.we have another little one on the way. his name is max wesley. and he is due may 19th. somehow i'll be the mother of two boys. craaaaa.zy. i spend my days cleaning house. picking worms and caterpillars out of the flower beds. cooking meals. shopping at target. washing clothes. playing on the floor. reading books. doing puzzles. traveling to sonic. and the library. and blogging. i hope you enjoy our blog. feel free to leave a comment. hopefully it's a nice one. i tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.









