tonight.

for as long as i can remember, when i see an ambulance, i say a silent prayer in my head for the person it is picking up or delivering.  i pray for the doctors and nurses who will see the person.  for the family who is worried.  etc, etc.

when pratt was probably 2, i shared this with him.  and from as early as 2.5, he would say a small prayer with me.  or he would say, "you go momma" and i would pray.  and he would say "amen" at the end.

today when we were leaving the library, an ambulance pulled up behind us.  and pratt heard it.  as we pulled over to the right side to let them pass us, pratt said it, "momma.  we should pray."

i asked if he wanted to.  he didn't.  i honestly don't know that he ever really has done an entire prayer alone in these situations.  maybe he has.  i don't know.  i said a small prayer.  he ended it with amen.  and that was that.

today as we were headed to eat dinner in little rock, we saw a cop flying past us.  pratt asked if we needed to pray.  i said no.  that it was a cop, not an ambulance.

he insisted that we needed to.  so i did.

we ate.  as we were leaving, i took an extra minute to let max step down from the sidewalk to the parking lot on his own.  this is one of his pt goals.  he's not stable with his balance and so this was a HUGE deal.  he scooted over to the side as much as he could.  and then he did it.  he dropped one foot and turned and dropped the other foot.  he took off running so proud of himself.  and i, like a crazy person (or like a cheerleader mom who is so dang proud of her little boy) screamed with joy and kissed him and hugged him and told him how proud i was.

i put him in the seat.  pratt hopped in his seat (behind me driving).  and clint got in his seat.

we had barely pulled out of the parking lot when a truck came out of nowhere and slammed into the passenger's side of the car in front of us.

like, a max of 20 feet in front of us.

i watched the entire thing happen.  like it was in slow motion.

and all i could think about as i sat on the phone with 911, was how clint didn't have his belt on yet.  i think he was reaching for it as the wreck happened.

it would have been his side.  he and max.

as we sat there for 15 minutes waiting on help to arrive, i couldn't quit thinking about the typical stuff.

how short life is.
how small my children are.
how worried i am about stupid stuff.
how had i not been patient...not waited on max...how that could have been us.

as we sat there...as clint helped the man and his wife that had been hit, i heard pratt's small voice behind me.

"momma, can i say a prayer for them?"

tears filled my eyes as i said yes.

and his prayer...best i can remember went like this...

dear God, please be with that lady up there.  please hold her and love her and let her know that you're with her.  i know she is scared.  i would be scared.  thank you for my mom and dad.  and for max.  amen.  

it wasn't until i was driving home that i realized how big pratt is.  how grown up he is.  and how what we do really does affect them.  how what we say really does matter.

i've got to start listening to better music.

and i've got to start giving more to those i encounter.

because apparently the little guy who sits behind me in the car really is paying attention.

go hug your loved ones.  life is too damn short.

staycation. twenty thirteen.

last year we went to the bahamas. this year we headed to hot springs. if you asked Pratt and max and Anderson they would say this year was almost as fun. I'm not sure anything will ever top the Atlantis. 

we played put put. went for a boat ride and a swim in the lake. ate at rolandos. breakfast at ihop. hit up magic springs and crystal falls. had dinner at blue monkey grill. the boys all went to bed fairly early while we adults visited on the porch. 

the weather was absolutely perfect. windy. cooler at night. it was honestly a great vacation. 

We are so blessed with the fishers. We love the four of them so, so much.