stitches.

so last night pratt was playing with some truck he has when he sliced his hand open.  it started bleeding.  he ran PAST his father...through a room, a hallway and through another room to find me.  and tell me that he needed help.  i'll never understand it.

i put him up on the sink and rinsed it off.  i asked him to stay there, with the water running on his hand while i went and found the neosporin and bandaids downstairs.

as i was hurrying back through the hallway, max, who was in pratt's room, spotted me and took off crawling to hide from me.  he does this a lot.  about the time i got the gate open to go downstairs i heard max hit the floor.  hardwood floor.  because we have NOT A STITCH OF CARPET IN THIS ENTIRE HOUSE.  BUT I'M NOT ANGRY ABOUT THAT OR ANYTHING.

so i run back into pratt's room and scoop him up.  immediately noticing the blood all over his chin.

he sliced it pretty good.  about an inch wide.  and it was just sitting there.  gaping open.  like someone had sliced him with a knife.  it was bad, y'all.  bad.

luckily, clint is totally unfazed by this.  and so he was calm and cool and collected.  and applied pressure.  but a bandaid on it.  and said it would be fine.

and then he jumped in the shower.  you know, because unlike me, (crazy me) his life doesn't stop when something happens to his child.

mine, however...my life comes to a screeching halt.  like, i was actually thinking, "i'm gonna need to call my mom and tell her not to keep them this weekend.  because i cannot leave him with a life threatening injury so that i can go watch the razorbacks lose to tulsa."

meanwhile pratt has locked himself in his room because he "cannot take it."  after getting a bandaid on his hand he informed me, "don't worry about me! i'll be fine.  but i cannot take seeing max's chin.  i just can't do it."

so i sat on the bed and watched that bandaid.  and as soon as i saw the smallest bit of blood under it, i took it off and began to obsess over what i would do.  because i knew deep in my belly that a bandaid wasn't gonna cover it.

to keep this post from being 7 pages long, i'll just skip to the part when our pediatrician texted me back and told me to bring him to her house.  because the ER would be a long wait.  and she had dermabond that she could use.

so i did.  he was perfect.  never cried.  never flinched.  nothing.

i get back home around 830.  i'm taking my pants off when i realize that MY JEANS ARE UNZIPPED and i had gone over to her house in front of her and her husband with them TOTALLY WIDE OPEN.  killer.  story of my life.

so fast forward to this morning.  he is crawling on my bathroom floor waiting on me to get ready when BAM! he slips again and bangs that dang thing wide open.  wide open.  blood oozes out again.

clint is already gone to work.  and pratt hears it, and immediately jumps off my bed and run into his room.  locks the door.  screams, "i'm in here.  don't worry about me.  when it stops bweeding, call me.  i'll come out!"

i have no help.  i get it semi-stopped and realize i have to get pratt to preschool before 9.

i call dr. merrick and she tells me they are overbooked but she's putting me down for 830.  and just to come as fast as i can.  but that i should drop pratt off somewhere because "he's not gonna want to see this".  awesome.  that's sounds like rainbows and skittles.

so picture this.  me holding max...attemping to keep him from pulling the bandaid off....with ONE hand. the other hand is dressing pratt in his superman costume.  then helping brush his teeth and comb his hair.

i get pratt dropped off with erika (praise the Lord for good friends) and take max.

after dr. merrick pulled all the glue off and cleaned it off, she put in 5 stitches.

listen.  there is a reason i quit med school.  the smell of iodine mixed with blood kills me.  i felt my knees go weak.  and max kept reaching for me.  like he wanted me to hold his hand and look at him.  so i did.  because that's what moms do.  i watched that hooked needle go through his baby skin 10 times and almost fainted/cried/threw up each time.

he's sleeping now.  dr. merrick and her nurse were awesome.  i have no idea how i will ever repay her.

so it's only 1008 and already it's been a long morning.  but it could be worse.  we could be in new york city with no power.

Tuesday.

me and max had such a good date today.

we have about 2.5 hours to kill while Pratt is at school. And while I'm tempted to come home and do laundry or clean or whatever else needs to be done, I try to do something fun with him. I took Pratt to the library all the time when he was this age. And I don't want to treat this little guy any differently. It's not his fault his momma is tired.

He loves the computers, the puzzles, the fish tank and the toy cars. And he loves to pull all the books off the shelves and sit.































We went to park today too. He threw the biggest fit when we had to leave. I had forgotten that phase where you attempt to reason with a child that cannot talk. I finally distracted him with a puppy dog. He screamed for a solid 3 minutes. Painful.







And then we voted. He was a total fan.




We are so blessed with such easy days. Our lives are so simple. So easy. So carefree.


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eighteen.

i'm 18 days in.

and i've decided that unless it benefits someone besides myself, it's probably not worth doing.

pretty big statement, i know.

and now that i've put it out there...into the universe of sorts, i can't really take it back.  so i'm stuck here now.  realizing this.  trying so hard to wrap my mind around what this means for me.

it means that when i'm standing in tuesday morning and i see something that was in pottery barn catalogue but is much cheaper, unless it benefit someone besides myself, it's probably not worth purchasing.  

it goes for clothes.  and really pretty much anything that isn't a necessity.  ugh.  i hate to even type that out.  because now it's there.  and now i have to attempt to follow it.  and i have this crazy, irrational fear that it means i won't be cool.  and my house won't be all decorated for christmas and thanksgiving.  and that my clothes will be simple and my closet with be bare.

sure. i know all things in moderation.  but i think america's idea of "moderation" is way off.  for instance, jen claims that the majority of the world's population lives on 2 dollars a day.  we (clint and i) figure we live on something like 200 a day.  and we don't spend a lot of money.

see.  look what i just did.

we don't spend a lot of money.

bullcrap.  we spend too much money.  we spend money on things we don't need.  like the 15 dollars i spent at target yesterday.  it's all just too much.

and i have to do something about it.  or pratt and max will grow up and grow into the idea of excess.  and overspending.

i'm tired of eating my 7 foods.  i'm tired of chicken and sweet potatoes.  i've pretty much done all there is to do with it.  i made homemade cinnamon rolls for a few friends and pratt's preschool teachers this morning and i swear i cried when i drizzled the icing over the warm rolls.  big crocodile tears.

and as i wiped my face i realized how ridiculous i was.

there are babies all over the world REALLY, REALLY hungry.  and here i am crying because i'm eating the same foods over and over again.

so i guess in closing, i do feel closer to Jesus at this point.  i do feel like some of the crap in my life has really been in the way until now.  like i've been so focused on doing things to impress other people...and really because i've been searching for happiness.  and now i'm starting to see that happiness isn't found in those things.  i've always known it.  but i've never REALLY known it.  like i've never felt it in my bones.

i'm feeling it in my bones now.  or maybe in my shaky hands.  because i'm nervous.  i know that this is just the beginning.  and there is so much more to learn.  and i'm scared.  because i feel like i've asked Him to change my heart.  to make it better.  and more clear.  and more like His.  and i'm thinking He's gonna take me up on it.

here we go.  yiiiiiiiiikes.

two.

two things.

one.  pratt went today with clint to a small community that our sunday school class assists throughout the year.  they have a little church and community center and several times a year, we take food to them and serve them lunch.

thursday he took 3 of his own dollars to the dollar store.  he bought a new stuffed kitty cat.  (he loves stuffed animals) and a snow globe and a package of 50 spider rings.

so.  this morning, i encouraged him to take some of his rings to the kids that would be at lunch.  i was thinking of the community kids...not really kids from our sunday school class.  but that works too. we talked about how we could just walk in the dollar store and get stuff.  and how they might not be able to do that.  and so how nice it was that we would give them some of our rings.

after a bit of a discussion, he agreed.  he set back 10 rings for himself.  and took about 38 to the kids.

when he got home, he told me that he was so sad because there were only 10 kids there.  and he had so many rings left over.  and he had "really wanted to give them all away".  i'm not sure if that was honest...but it made me feel good.  made me proud of him.  because it's not always easy giving stuff we love away.

also.  one of the kids there taught him a nasty word.  "butt".  as in my behind.  and the best part is that it was a kid from our church that used the word.  awesome.  i'm sure one day pratt will teach some younger kid a word much worse....

two. the family walked down to the river today.  max loves the water.  we already knew pratt did.  we rolled max's pants up and sat him on a rock.  he splashed and splashed.  just loved it.  we have to do that more often.  i cannot wait until clint can take them both fishing down there.

i'm so blessed.

Thursday.

coffee talk. over pancakes. and yeah, Pratt no longer makes normal faces. it's all downhill from here, folks.




he's too old. acting like he's reading the time. way too old.




And finally, my favorite. Max walking towards his big brothers arms.




Being a momma is the best job. Ever. (don't ask me tomorrow. You could get a different response ;)

date day.

Last week Pratt and I had a date. It was probably the first time in months that it's just been me and him.

He got to choose where we went. He chose the pumpkin patch, the library and lunch with daddy.
















But of course, we were really happy to pick brother up at 2. Life isn't complete without all three of my boys.



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family.

pratt's version of our family.

Pratt. Mom. Max. Daddy.



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desserts.

sometimes I see a picture and realize that he's way too old. he's so kind and helpful. so sweet. so grown.




i love him more than I love desserts.

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family farm.

our first preschool trip. family farm. one magical place.


















































We LOVE jolly time preschool!

straw.

Pratt and I were reading a book tonight in bed. He stopped me to explain a few things he had learned in school.

The first was the "pine" as he called it. He was trying to say "spine".

He said, "oh, momma. What is it? It's, it's...it's like straw. Something sounds like straw."

Finally I realized he was thinking of pine straw. Then he said, "yes. Pine. That middle part is the pine."

His mind is crazy. He must get this from clint. I'm not this smart.

He never forgets anything. He told me about the cover page. And where the authors name is. And how the year the book was printed is on the back of the first, title page. It's all crazy town.

Smart little guy.


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behind.

I'm so incredibly behind on here.

At almost 17 months, max is standing and walking like 5 to 6 steps on his own. Crazy town. How is he this old??!!











My superhero may save the world in his spare time, but he will always lurve his momma's bed.




He is gonna make some girl so happy one day.




Pratt's idea of "picking everything up in the living room".




Yes. It happened.




Max. And his adorable self.




Max. At seventeen months.




Pratt. Same tub. At 22 months.




I'm so blessed.