chatty pratty.

I'm really too tired to write. I should get on the laptop and post something, but I'm just too exhausted.

My child NEVER stops talking. Like, even in his sleep. Today he only napped for an hour. He doesn't realize it, but he is not even going to try to give up that nap. Reason number 800 I'm not going to a toddler bed. Dr. Weissbluth said to wait. And I follow any and all instructions. Even though pratt totally jumped two weeks ago. Like out of his bed. Yep. Jumped. Knocked the wind out of him.

Well, today around 5 I tried to convince him to lay down on my bed and watch Dora with me. And maybe nap.

He wasn't having it. Didn't want to nap. Instead he wanted to talk about pickles. And robots. And grasshoppers being eaten by the preying mantis on our front porch. He wanted to know when we were going to go to the library again. He wanted to know about the fish there. And the owl outside.

He talked about skeet and ace. And about Popsicles and oatmeal. And juice and goldfish. About elephants and spiders.

We talked about why we couldn't see nana and papaw today. About how he wanted to go for a ride on the lawnmower. About seeing miss Laura (yara) tomorrow.

Are you tired? Yep. It's exhausting. And you have to respond to all that. Because if you don't respond he keeps repeating himself over and over again.

Every time I would try to close my eyes he would pry them open and say, "peek boo mom!!" and then fall out laughing. I'm pretty certain my cornea is scratched.

Here he is. My little talker. Caught in mid- thought.

jay bird.

'cause out here in the country we don't always wear clothes...



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chow uh.

so my little boy loves the "chow uh".  or shower. 

he asks to take one at least once a day.  i think he thinks it makes him old.  and big.  and independent. 

oh, and yes stacy harris, you CAN see the swagger in that second picture.  that's just for you ;)

dear pratt.

dear pratt,

this is my favorite age.  an almost 2 year old. 

while there are days when you visit the time out mat or maybe you scream to do things your way, i am learning to appreciate it.  i know it means you're growing up.  and i know it means that i'm doing my best in trying to teach you sooo many things in such a short period of time.

today as i was making our lunch, i thought about how blessed we are.  to have a fridge full of food.  to have a husband working hard so that we can always have more.  to have you, helping me with every little step.  you can pull the turkey and mayo out of the fridge drawer.  how you can bring the bread and cheetos in from the pantry.  you've gotten pretty good at getting the pickles out of the jar. 

you are such a big boy.  such a sweet, big boy.  at unexpected times, i get kisses.  and hugs.  and "stay mom"s.  i love you so much. 

thank you for helping me clean up the kitchen.  i never dreamed that i not only would have a son, but i would also have such a wonderful little friend in you. 

that is...until you're 13.  and then...well, you'll probably just want me to stay out of your business. 

ain't gonna happen pal.

but seriously...i love you.  with all my heart.
mommy.

if you give a moose a muffin.

reading is great. 

usually...but then there are days when you're just trying to get in and out of kroger for say organic whole milk that is on sale for 2/5 bucks.  but when you're heading down the baking aisle to get flour, your kid spots muffin mix and starts to scream, "muffin!  mom, muffin!  moose, mom!  paint!  and muffins moose mom!  ahhh!"

and then, well, then you stand in the aisle begging him to pick out which kind he wants.  prompting him.  telling him he has to choose quickly.  because all of a sudden the aisle is getting more crowded and no one thinks it's cute that he remembers books or muffins or the fact that the moose can paint. 

it took pratt forever to choose between strawberry, chocolate chip and blueberry.  he finally decided on chocolate chip because...well, because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  and i honestly believe that ALL things are better with chocolate chips.  the darker the chocolate, the better.  yum. 

so this morning we decided to make the muffins.  and of course, as it always goes, in the end, he really liked the cool whip better than the muffins. 

go figure.  and have wonderful weekends too!

epitome.

This is the epitome of our relationship.

Me: "just sit with me for a while. In my lap. Let me just hold you."

And then I kiss all over his face.

Him: "stop mom. Tickles. Enough mom. Stop."

All the while he giggles. And tries to get up so he can go play.

It's like the giving tree. I've become the giving tree. and he's the kid who just wants to build a boat...



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Big kid.

Pratt is doing all kinds of big kid things these days. From putting on his own crocs, to reading books on his own, to swinging on the big kid swings, to dipping his own oreos in milk...

Time is going by so fast. I'm really making a conscious effort to enjoy every second with him.

Even those spent in time out...ha.





















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Foodie.

Okay. I'm not a fan of walmart. For lots of reasons, so I rarely go there.

But...sometimes I find things there that I can't find at kroger. Here is one of those things.

Philly Swirl Italian Ice pops. They are gluten, dairy and fat free.

I want to say this box of 12 was less than 2 dollars. Seriously.

They are much easier to eat than regular Popsicles. Much softer and easier to chew. And there are 6 flavors. Cotton candy, banana and applelicious are so stinkin good.

Enjoy. Because pratt is :)








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wetters, wetters.

or letters, letters to me and you.

and my very favorite of all...

our morning. part one.

the stomach flu is at our house. well, sort of.

clint was sick yesterday, and now i'm sick today. but it doesn't really matter when a mom gets sick, right? because pratt doesn't understand that means all i really want to do is lay down and sleep.

no way. we played with foam letters this morning and we played with playdoh and painted before lunch.

these pictures of him painting are so cute. he is apparently a big fan of monet and the thick blotches of paint. idk.

say it again.

say it again.

show me. 

i bet i say those two things 1000 times a day.  seriously.  pratt's vocabulary is getting out of hand.  i mean, it's like we have talked to him since day one, and now that he can talk back, he's throwing everything back at us. 

tonight he brought me the ball and said, "soccer game." 

only it sounded like, "shock erz james."

after asking him to repeat it ten times, i finally got it.  and then i couldn't stop laughing because why does he know about soccer games?  and soccer balls? 

you know why?  dddddora.  that's why.  because in episode 18 of 42 on the dvr, dora and her friends help form a soccer team. 

ugh.  dora. 

what else.  oh, i told him a few days ago that he needed to be careful when i was sharking the floor because it could be slippery.  so anytime he falls down on the concrete floor or sees water on ANY floor, he says, "sweepery".  over and over and over again. 

if you mention something to him, like, "next we're gonna go get mommy a round hairbrush."  he's like a parrot and repeats "round hairbrush" until he's blue in the face.  i don't know if this is normal. no, that's a lie.  it's not normal.  it can't be normal.  however, the other day we were eating at cantina laredo.  our waiter was so great.  while he was making guacamole at our table, pratt kept naming the veggies he was using. 

abocabo, yime, onion, chips...i apologized to the guy.  he said, "hey, it's okay.  i have two kids of my own. i know that it's the only way they learn."  he was so patient with pratt.  kept saying, "yes, that's an avocado. you're right.

he has started saying, "stop mom!" when i tickle him.  or when i chase him.  or when i'm trying to catch him and get clothes on him.  sometimes he puts his pointer finger up.  and then tells me, "stop mom!"  so funny. 

he was playing rat on the run on his ipod last week and when the game would end, he would say, "oh man!"  i have it on video.  i've got to upload it.  so funny.

oh.  this is the best.  the other day we picked him up from his nana's house.  and as we pulled out of the driveway, he goes, "road!" 

i said, yes, this is a road.  that was the driveway.  but yes, they are different. 

you guys.  we turn onto another road, and he goes, "new road!  2 roads."

clint and i looked at each other like, whhhhhaaaaaaaa!?

he kept on.  new road.  3 roads.  etc, etc.  crazy. 

have wonderful weeks everyone!

dear pratt.

dear pratt,

you are one month away from being 2 years old. 

where has the time gone?  it seems like just yesterday me and you were here alone.  together.  me wondering what to do with you.  you crying your face off.  me calling your daddy begging him to come home from work to save us.  because i couldn't make it stop. 

and then all of a sudden you were smiling at me.  and i felt like i was doing something right. 

and then you laughed.  and then you talked.  and then you kissed me. 

and now you will say that you love me.  it's prompted yes. 

but it's a full out, "wuv you mom."

and it's the best thing i've ever heard in my whole entire life. 

it's better than hearing, "welcome to sonic.  may i take your order please?"  it's even better than hearing, "you saved over 60% with your kroger card today."

it's hard to explain how much i love you.  it's so hard to put it into words.  it's almost impossible for you to understand how your daddy and i feel. 

i have a letter.  it's from my mom.  one of the many that are in my box.  it's a letter she wrote me when i was 7 years old.  here, i'll just tell you what she said....

january 2, 1987
dear hannah,

you know that i love you and that i am so proud of you, but i just wanted to say it on paper. 

you have been very special and dear to me since the day you were born.  you are a very sweet and thoughtful child and it makes me so happy to watch you grow older. 

you do so many things that make me proud of you.  i know that as you grow older there will be times that you may feel lonely or feel that you are not special, but just remember there are a lot of people - not only daddy, spencer and myself that love you and care about you.  whenever you feel lonely or down take this little note out and cheer up. 

i love you, mommy.

it wasn't until recently that i got what she was saying.  really appreciated it.  but now i do.  now i get it. 

still, in 2010, i get that letter out just to cheer myself up.  i have done it forever, i guess.  i can remember taking it out late at night while i was at college.  reading it.  remembering that she loved me.  that my dad loved me.  and that i mattered.  i mattered so much that she took the time to write me that letter. 

someone told me today that they didn't understand blogs.  that they didn't get what was so great about them.  they felt a blog was so egocentrical.  i couldn't disagree more. 

this blog is not about me. 

it's about you.  it's about how much i love you.  it's about how much i hope that you enjoy reading what was going on in your life when you were too young to remember.  it's about you being able to read my thoughts. 

it's about other people.  people i know.  people i love.  people who love us.  and some people i've never even met.  it's about relating to others.  and having others relate to us. 

it's something much bigger than me.  or you.  or even your daddy. 

i hope one day you get it.  i hope you are able to pull out this blog book and see that we love you.  that so, so many love you. 

and more than that, somehow even more than that, i hope that i'm around to see it.  to see it come full circle. 

heaven.  that will be heaven for me...

i love you with all my heart,
mommy.

seriously, mom?

he has such adult expressions to be such a little guy.

punchbowl.

So. The blog is going private again. Why, you ask.

Well, let's see. When I first started this blog, I checked something in the settings that kept us out of google search.

Well, not anymore for some weird reason. Were back on. And so when a person searches for "clint fulks, dentist" on google, guess who pops up?

Yes. Our family blog. Why would anyone be searching for clint on google? Duh. So we can eat dinner. And pay the bills. And we are a part of this group called demand force that is meant to increase clints offices presence on the web. Through google.

So it pretty much goes over like a turd in the punchbowl when a patient walks in and tells clint he read about his family while searching for his office website.

So, I hate being private. I'm waiting to hear back from google on how to keep myself out of the search engines. Until then, I'm sorry :(

Email me at hannahfielderfulks@yahoo.com if you need to be added or know anyone else who reads this. Besides my mom, nana, grandma and Laura :)

Ps. Im setting it public for a few days because I have received several emails about getting in. I love meeting people who read this. Honestly. I don't know how new moms did it before blogs. I "stalk" so many people I've never met through their blogs. There is something soo refreshing about knowing you aren't alone.

So, if you read this and we don't know each other, hi :) I'm Hannah. Nice to meet you. If you will send me an email, I will happily add you to our list. If you don't have a blogger account, I do have a generic account you can use. Just email me!!

Thanks for being interested in our rather boring lives ;)

Have great Nights!

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amen...times two.

my friend stephanie posted this on her facebook page a while back. and when i read it, i had to go find it for myself. online. see who wrote it. why she wrote it. i needed the entire story behind it.

i think if you have kids, have ever loved a child, ever want kids, work with kids, or most importantly, have ever been a kid :), you should read this. and if you don't yet have kids, and hope one day you do, print this out...put it in your memory box. and you can refer back to it later. because i promise one day you will pull it out and be like, yes! finally. someone understands what i'm going through!!!it's from the washington post. a woman named carolyn hax wrote it. it was in response to something a reader wrote her. which is the following:

Carolyn:

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .

Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.

Tacoma, Wash.

and here is what carolyn wrote back to tacoma:

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.

Or you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

Internet searches?

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form.

When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.


It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time.

Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.
are you screaming right now! are you fist pumping?! because i was. i started fist pumping when she said, "having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear..."

yes! i've been there. i've been the person who stuffs all kinds of crap in my pockets JUST TO WALK IN THE GROCERY STORE FOR SOME FREAKING MILK. and here's the deal. three years ago, i didn't want ANYTHING in my pockets because i wanted to make sure my hips looked small.

but not now. no, not now. now id take gigantic birthing hips (which i have) just so my kid doesn't scream GUMBALL at the top of his lungs when we walk in kroger. because well, let's face it. dad, the dentist, isn't really cool with the gumballs.

me, on the other hand, i'm totally down with anything that keeps him from trying to pull every item off the shelf or better yet, into the buggy when i'm trying to figure out which brand is the better deal with my ziploc gallon sized bag of coupons. picture this. me standing there with about ten coupons in my mouth. ten in one hand, ten between my legs. and then there's pratt. trying to figure out how to unsnap the buckle keeping him in that gigantic race car buggy.

there is really nothing worse than getting to the checkout and pulling out a summer's eve douche that your son has put in your buggy when you weren't looking because you were trying to decide if it's just cheaper to forgo the coupons and buy the generic brand of ditties. (it's not by the way). and to make it worse (as if it could get any worse), the check out guy is like 16. and totally thinks you're old. and apparently, not so fresh...uh hum...down there. kill me. kill me of embarrassment.

so. yes, carolyn. amen. amen sister. and the part about needing 45 minutes to do what it takes others only 15! yes!!! yes!!!! and people wonder why moms are sooo tired and drained at the end of the day! THATS WHAT WE DO PEOPLE. we MOTHER.

okay. i hear my kid screaming, "mom! help! up, mom! out of bed! mom!!" etc.

have great days!

oh, here is the link of the original article:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/22/AR2007052201554.html

brad junior. ha.

This is what happens when your child watches too much Rachel Zoe project.







I mean, off the shoulder blouses are in, mom! Duh.

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everythings more fun naked.

The past two days have been beautiful!! There is a constant breeze and not near as much humidity.

So yesterday pratt and I spent most of our day outside.

At one point he told me he was going to "vacuum up weeds mom"!

Fine by me. And yes, he prefers to be naked with his boots on.






Also of note, he peed on the front porch yesterday. It was outside and so therefore I had no problem with it. I have a great picture, but clint would die if I put it here.

Have wonderful days!

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amen.

so. as i've mentioned here several times, pratt is almost 2.

which for all you mommies out there, you know what i'm getting at. 2. the terrible 2's.

as we all know, i'm not perfect. faaaaaar from it. but i have a true desire to parent perfectly.

did you just wet your pants? i know, i know. no one does that.

i mean, i knew no one did that. i knew no one was capable of it...but still, still there is that drive. that desire to do well with pratt. to say the right things. to discipline the right way.

but it is so hard in those times when he's being defiant. and completely testing me. it always seems to be me that he lashes out against.

yesterday i was at barnes and noble. my most favorite place on earth. well, top three. and as is standard protocol there, before i could even look for books, i had to void. because, well, it's physiology and i won't get into it. i'll just say this. i get so excited walking through those big wooden doors.

to barnes and noble. NOT the bathroom.

okay. so i find a book yesterday that i had checked out at our libarary about 6 months ago. i tried to read through it then, but it didn't really interest me then as it has now.

the new dare to discipline by dr. james dobson.

we did a james dobson study at moms and more last semester. and i thought then the man was a genius when it came to kids. and so i bought the "new" book. the updated version.

i'll just say this. i could go on and on about why you should go buy this book if you have kids younger than 13....but i won't. i'm only on page 34, but already, i've made so many notes inside the book. so you know it's good. cause i don't write in books unless it's absolutely necessary.

anyway, page 34. this is what he says. and you should know about it. he's just told a story about how he was at a conference speaking on how to raise kids, and he brought his children along. while speaking to a woman, he heard a huge bang and saw his two children chasing after each other, jumping over seats, etc. basically doing what you DON'T want your kids to do when you're the "authority" on child rearing.

here is what he says...

i share that story to clarify the goal of proper child rearing. it is not to produce perfect kids. even if you implement a flawless system of discipline at home, which no one in history has done, your children will be children.

at times they will be silly, destructive, lazy, selfish - and yes, disrespectful. such is the nature of humanity. we as adults have the same problems.

futhermore, when it comes to kids, that's the way it should be. boys and girls are like clocks; you have to let them run.

my point is that the principles in this book are not designed to produce perfect little robots who can sit with their hands folded in the parlor thinking patriotic and noble thoughts! even if we could pull that off, it wouldn't be wise to try!

amen, dr. dobson. amen.

i had forgotten that. i had forgotten that pratt isn't perfect. and that as my friend amber says, "kids should be loud. they are kids after all."

i feel like a weight has been lifted. like maybe i shouldn't worry about those people who roll their eyes because pratt squeals with delight when he sees something he loves...even if that squeal is just a tad bit loud. or if he can't quit pointing at the fish tank saying, "fish mommy! fish!" over and over again. or even when he gets stiff on me at the library because we've been in there for over an hour and it really is time to go home. (you haven't lived until you've carried a child out who is basically playing light as a feather, stiff as a board, while you try to hold them and a sack of library books all while the "older" ladies look at you and whisper that you're probably ones of those "new touchy feely moms".

whatever woman. i'll show you touchy feely just as soon as i get this kid strapped in his carseat. by this time i'm sweating and swearing and mentally reminding myself to call about mirena because I CANNOT DO THIS AGAIN.

and then i read something like this and remember that it's all normal. that i'm not perfect, pratt's not perfect and we aren't expected to be.

after all, that's what Jesus is for.

right? can i get an amen!?

ps. go get the book. here is a picture of it.

light. moon. egg. leaf.

i'm an avid reader. like, when i was little, and we'd go out to dinner my parents would have to tell me to put the book down and enjoy the company and EAT.

no one is having to remind me to eat these days...but i still choose reading over visiting most anyday. i'm antisocial :) just kidding. well, kind of.

i've been reading to pratt since he was born. when he was just a baby, i'd read to him while he was sleeping. vogue. at home. southern living. anything. i'd read instructions for cooking outloud. recipes. anything. as a new mom, it was just me and him for so many hours of so many days. so that's what i did to keep from losing my...well, to keep from losing ALL of my mind.

so you can imagine the joy these past few days when pratt has curled up on "moms couch" aka our bed, with a few great books.

goodnight moon. the very hungry caterpillar. if you take a mouse to the movies.

i first noticed it when reading goodnight moon a few nights ago. he kept pointing at the rabbit and telling me that he was "awake". and then when we got to the last page, he'd say, "now asleep". i was pretty impressed that he understood the entire book was about getting ready for bed. and getting quiet. and telling everything goodnight.

but then again, he impresses me by peeing in the potty or walking up the stairs. after all, i'm his mom. so i'm impressed by pretty much everything.

in his own way, he can tell you what happens when you take a mouse to the movies.

"popcorn!"
"swing (string) it all to-get-er!"
"kwissmas tree!"
"snowman!"
"carrot!"

you get the picture. and speaking of, yes, he's probably getting it from the pictures, but still. i was so proud.

so last night, we get out the very hungry caterpillar. one of my favorites.

i took a video on my phone, so i'll have to put it on here. it's so cute.

the first page, he says, light, moon, egg, leaf!

then, sun, pop!

it is absolutely adorable. and not just because he's my son. but because it reminds me that all those times i read to him, when he wasn't listening...paid off. for a long time i thought he needed to be sitting in my lap watching the pages turn.

not so. sometimes he was drawing. sometimes he was coloring. sometimes he was stacking blocks.

it didn't matter. it all sunk in.

and it's so nice to know that in the midst of all the chaos that is an almost 2 year old little boy, there is something i did right.

i read to him.

and he listened. and even better...he loved it.

oh how i love him.

thirty one.

i turned thirty one years old yesterday. man, that is old.

i know. when i was a little girl, i thought 16 was old. then when i was 16, i thought 30 was old. those were the women who drove suburbans, went to the pool with their kids, and had their lives all figured out.

hahaaa! right. all figured out, my rear.

all figured out. no.

but let's see. what am i?

i am much more confident in myself. in my decisions. in my thoughts. in my feelings.

i am happier than ever before.

i still don't know what i want to be when i grow up. maybe a secretary. that'd be nice.

i appreciate my family more now than ever. i see what having grandparents is all about. i missed out on that. and i'm so happy that pratt isn't missing any of it.

i have learned how to forgive, and most importantly...how to ask for forgiveness. i've learned to put my pride aside in certain situations. i've learned how to really walk in other people's shoes. i'm most proud of these few things, i think.

i've become more confident in being a mom. no, i don't know how to do time out. and i don't know what to do when pratt hits me. but i know that i'm doing the best i can do. and i know that when i feel overwhelmed, clint is right beside me, ready to help with whatever i need.

30 was a good year. i grew more in that year than maybe ever before. i grew in times of happiness. and i grew in times of sheer and indescribable pain. and i grew in all those times in between.

here are a few pictures from this past weekend. friday night my parents and sister had a bday party for me in hot springs. saturday we went to eat at nancy's for mine and doug's birthday. and then yesterday, on my real birthday, my sweet friend stacy brought me a real cake. :) because as she said, everyone deserves a real cake on their birthday.

thanks for everyone for the birthday wishes. i really did have a wonderful, wonderful birthday!