my max.

Max is the funniest kid alive.











He is obsessed with yoda.




This is my favorite.




We are all in big trouble.

max. the practical joker.

had you asked me yesterday if i had ever seen God, i would have said no.

i mean, i've seen what i think is God.  like in people doing good.  but never a face.  i've never been able to put a face with a name.

but that all changed at the walmarts today.

so the boys and i are headed in when i look up at the sky.  i realize that it's stormy looking.  dark.  cloudy. so i decide that i probably should get the umbrella.

we shop.  and buy a ridiculous goldfish towel that was almost 8 dollars for the beach.

we get to the exit and i realize that it's sprinkling.  so i put pratt beside max.  his legs are hanging over.  but they both loved it.  we may shop this way from now on.  anywho.  pratt holds the umbrella and i take the front of the buggy and direct it to the car.  getting pretty wet.

by the time we get to the car, it's raining hard.  so i grab max first.  put him in his seat.  then pratt.  i only have one door open.  pratt walks past max to get in his seat.  now.  i'm testing max's seat to see if we can drive with his seat reclined to the beach in a few days.  so he's all kicked back.

i tell pratt to buckle up.  and close the door.  he's the bomb.  he does both of those things.  closes max's door.  and buckles himself in.

max starts to fuss as i'm buckling him in.  it's way passed his naptime.  he grabs the keys from my mouth.  and i don't protest because i feel bad for him.

i open the passenger front door and put all my bags in.  and my wallet.  and my phone.

and i shut the door.

i'm walking around the car when i hear, "honk honk".  and i know immediately what has happened.

by this time, it's raining.  like really, really raining.  like think noah.  and the boat.  and well...all that.

i walk over to my door and look down at my lock.

locked.  totally down.  totally locked out of my car.

in the pouring down rain.

both boys in their seats.  strapped in.  keys inside.  with max.  phone inside.  wallet inside.  raining.  wet.  sopping wet.

you know how monica yelled, "NO!!!!" when she realized that she had left the "breezy" message on richard's answering machine!?!?  well.  that was the no i yelled.

pratt immediately realizes what has happened.  tears fill his eyes.

i try to joke with him.  standing there in the rain.  i'm all, "hey p! it's okay.  daddy has the spare key.  this is like a spy game.  you talk through the window.  and i'll spy on max."

i'm going 90 to nothing trying to think of what to do next.  i can't leave the car because they are both inside it.  but i have no way of calling clint.

i'm there a solid 8 minutes trying to teach pratt to unbuckle his seatbelt on his carseat.  which was a futile point because let's be honest...he shouldn't be able to do that.  because if he could, how good would the carseat belt be!!!?  i didn't think he could do it.  but what other options did i have.  i couldn't leave them.  i couldn't just walk away to go in the walmarts.  so i just stood there.  trying to see into the window, screaming so he could hear me.  but trying to keep my voice full of calmness so that he didn't think i was panicking.  even thought i was totally about to cry.  it's all, "take your left hand and squeeze!! yes!  now...take your right hand and push!"

so he's pushing so hard.  trying so hard.  crying so hard.

meanwhile, max is like a damn harlem globetrotter swinging that key ring on his right pointer finger.  giggling his chubby boy giggle.  like, i swear he would look at me, swing the key.  throw his head back and laugh.

he has NEVER sat in that carseat for 8 minutes without screaming his face off.  but not this time.  nope.  he's full out laughing.

finally God shows up.  and she asks if she can help.

i'm sopping wet.   and i wanted to hug God around her neck.  instead i said, "yes m'am.  you can.  do you have a cell phone i could use??"

she did.  God uses a nokia.  not an iphone.

i called clint's office.  begged sheila to talk to clint.  he gets on the phone and says he will help.  he will go get my spare.

God tries to stay by my side.  but i told her to just go inside.  that there was no point in both of us getting wet.  by this time, i was drenched.  like my hair was wet.  i was shaking i was so cold.  my shoes were squeaking everytime i moved.

and there sat max.  the harlem globetrotter.  swinging the dang keys.  pratt was still trying to hard to get out of his carseat.  he would scream, "max!  give me the keys!!!! now max!!!" and max would belly laugh and swing the keys.

apparently God went into the walmarts and said a prayer.  because about a minute later, max switches the keys from his right hand to his left.  and pratt reached over and grabbed them.

i was like a crazy person screaming, "both hands!!! grab them with both hands!!!! don't drop them!!"

pratt got them.  (still sobbing).  pressed the unlock button and i jumped in.

i start laughing like a hyena and pratt says (still sobbing), "i fink i'm superman, mom!"

i agreed.  and then told him that he could have anything he wanted the rest of the day because he's a superhero.  for sure.

lesson to be learned: never let a baby get your keys unless you keep one door open at all times.

today i lost 10 years from my life.  so did pratt.

this doesn't do my feet justice.  but i was soaking wet.  for reals.

cec.

Max's first real trip to the chuck e cheese. He ate cheese pizza. Drank fruit punch. And rode bob the builder.







It was a great day!

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day two.

max slept until 915 this morning. craaaaaaaaaaazy town.
Then he played on the back porch. Naked. After eating 5 mini cinnamon rolls.




Then he was the cutest baby ever on the boat.




Pratt stood at the front waving at everyone. Yelling, "have a good day on the water!!!"




Cutest boy ever, again.




Carolina and Kendall went tubing with us. Pratt is obsessed with Kendall.




And last but not least, max took his FIRST step this afternoon!!!!!!!




Unbelievable. He's so old. And big. And yes. I pushed him down. I'm not ready for walking yet. He's still my baby.
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lake day.

our first lake day this season. and liza kate's first lake day ever!!















































id like to make sure Pratt knows that HE chose the "swimwear" he donned here. I did not. As clint said, it's the first outfit that has ever, in the history of his life, been tight. Amen to that.

We had a great day. For sure!

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the headband game.

mom got pratt his game.  the headband game.  something like that.  by garanimals.  well, in clint's words, "he's freaky good at it".

we've played...maybe 3 times.  he's probably seen 75% of the cards one time.  and he's got it DOWN.  like, down.

like if you've ever played trivial pursuit with me...well, you can tell pratt is my child when you play the headband game because he acts JUST.LIKE.ME during tp.  (my all time favorite game in the whole entire world).

the game is what you would imagine it to be.

you put a card on the headband that he can't see and doesn't know what it is.  then you have to give him clues so he can figure it out.  and he does the same for you.

he's a pro.  a master.  he's the bomb.com at it.

i kept telling clint he was good at it.  but i think he just kinda blew it off.






until tonight.  when they played together.  and apparently pratt rocked out the clue giving.

for ball.  his clues were something like, "it's round.  it's in the air.  it has a string you hold on to.  but it's not a kite."

the other day i had kite on my head.  his clues for that: "this is something that is diamond shaped.  it has a string attached.  and it flies in the air.  you don't fly it like an airplane.  but it flies.  the wind flies it.  and it rhymes with light."

and it's like clint said.  we never really had to explain to him that you can't tell the person the word.  or use it while explaining.  it's gotta be a secret.  he just knew that.  i think it's from all those "tell me about something" games in the car.

i don't know that he will be able to use these skills in a classroom next year...but his parents are TOTALLY impressed with them.  smart little booger.

and yes.  i know.  i sound like the parent who went on and on about how her kid starting singing "eieio" when she saw the mcdonalds sign.  but whatever.  i can brag on him if i want.  it's my blog.  and it really is kinda creepy how good he is at giving clues.

which totally made me think about maybe getting clue the game!!!!! my second favorite game in the whole entire world!!!!!

thanks mom for the game.  needles to say, he loved it.
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morning.

morning activities are always fun. I'm trying to find a good workbook full of letters and numbers for him to trace. I'm not sure how much he should know before preschool though. I don't want him to learn too much. If that makes any sense. He's so willing and open and desires to sit down and do something new. So I hate to say no, you must wait until September.

A good friend gave us some harcourt math booklets on addition and subtraction. I figured since he can add, there would be no harm in letting him work on those. He loved them. We practiced tracing numbers. And used pennies to count for addition.

And then we ended by drawing and coloring and cutting out a big start spider. After we glued it on some thick cardstock he asked if he could make a roach one for uncle Andy.

Clara! Keep it a secret. We are gonna mail it soon!



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love.

Max squeals with excitement!!!! So sweet.



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the difference.

today is pratt's last day of kdo.  of course, he has summer kdo.  and will probably be going one day a week in between preschool days.  but still.  it's hard to believe that an entire school year has already passed us by.

here he is in late august 2011.  and today.

thank you cookie for spending the night with us.

thank you for taking p on a date for donuts (and a kolache) before his last day of school.

now if only time would slow down.  only 3 months, 2 weeks and 5 days before two day a week preschool.  unreal.  totally and completely unreal.  i could swear just yesterday i was holding this baby in the recliner with no diaper.  crying for my own mother to come save us.  and now look at me.  i'm sitting here with a 3.5 year old and a 1 year old.

needing an iv drip of xanax.  lord have mercy on my soul.

afternoon.

Pratt is getting so good at staying in the lines. Part of me is sad about it because it does mean that he's kinda conforming, but I think that's okay. I mean, he can still be creative and color in the lines. Right? And I haven't stressed this. Someone else must have. Maybe at school. Idk.

And his part was purple. Mine, green.




Max loves puzzles.




And p needs a haircut. Something about him looks 16 here. Maybe the scowl.



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balance.

Nancy bought Pratt a butterfly plant. It's called a milkweed. He saw it first at grandma's house. It's a host plant for monarch butterflies. And he wanted one. Nancy heard that and voila! She bought him one! And well, it is gonna be a pretty awesome plant.







Mom bought Pratt a sailboat. You know, because he asked for one. He asked for one on Monday. And he received one on Tuesday.




Something really sweet happened Tuesday when they played with the sailboat after mom left.

I heard Pratt say, "max. I love you. And I'll always be right here for you. No matter what."

So sweet. This was the day of the R.Kelly incident. So maybe it balances everything out?!

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that kid.

welp.  he did it.

you know how you see a kid do something and you think, "oh sheet.  my kid will never do that."  and then you go on with, "if he ever does that, i will wear his little butt out." or whatever your own version is. that's usually my version.  


welp.  he did it.  


pratt.  he was that kid. 


let me preface for you.

we were gone to the bahamas for 5 nights.  and he hasn't had the sleep that he requires for good, public behavior.

and then there was the gas he received his morning.  which i have decided is straight from the devil.  because he has been so freaking sassy since 8 am.

so those two things combined...well, they don't help the situation.  but don't for a second believe that that's all of it.  nope.  it's not.  he's just 3.5 and well, to be honest, he's human.

so i pull up from a junior auxiliary exec meeting.  i have max.  pratt and clint had gone to b.nastics.

well, pratt is jumping on the trampoline.  and so i asked him to do something.  i really don't know what it was.  but he snaps back with, "NO!!!".  yells it.  total disrespect.

and let me tell you.  I AM SO FREAKING TIRED OF THE DISRESPECT.

it will be over my dead body that he will be disrespectful of other people.  like, this is my soapbox.  this will be what sends me to jail.  him being sassy and disrespectful.

i immediately tell him that he has had MULTIPLE warnings throughout the day about this subject of yelling no at me and speaking in a nasty, disrespectful tone.  when i tell him to get off the trampoline and come inside because he's now going to go to bed, he BIBLE: ZIPS UP THE TRAMPOLINE SO THAT I CAN'T GET IN THERE.

y'all.

are you dying!?  welllllll.  i'm like felicity huffman on housewives. i will jump in a swimming pool with a formal dress on to prove a point and teach that boy a lesson.

so i haul myself up that ladder.  and listen.  it's a tall ladder. i bet i skipped like 4 rungs.  i didn't even flinch. fight or flight, baby. and i reach under and unzip it.  and i grab him.  and i pretty much fling him off the trampoline.  i mean, not really.  but i wanted to.

as we are walking inside, he does numerous other things to 1. lose his stuffed monkey that he sleeps with and 2. lose his reading one book privilege we normally do.

like i didn't even wash his hands.  or his feet.  or anything.  i stripped him of his shorts.  and left him in those undies and t-shirt.  i didn't care.  i was fuming.

when we get to my bathroom, i've sort of calmed down.  he's sobbing.  and i said, "i'm extremely disappointed in your behavior.  being kind is the ONE thing i ask you to do daily.  and you have had a really, really hard time being kind today.  now go use the potty and we will then brush your teeth."

and here it comes.

he says, "i'm gonna pee on you."

um.  what.  uhhhhhhhhhh.  what.

like what?

several things ran through my mind.

1. he needs JESUS.
2. i'm gonna lose my sheet on him if his daddy doesn't get up here soon.
3. this child needs JESUS.
4. did he really just say what i think he said.
5. where did he hear this!?
6. maybe he has a weird fetish and i should be really concerned and i should take him into counseling immediately.  like right now.  screw bedtime.  he needs psychiatric help.
7.  JESUS, WHERE ARE YOU!?

i calmly looked at him.  right on his level.  and i said, "i have no idea why you just said that.  but i never.  ever, ever, ever, ever, ever want to hear anything like that again.  i am incredibly disappointed in you, pratt."

he sort of flopped around and then wouldn't open his mouth for me to brush his teeth.  so then he lost his b.  and well, it all went to hell in a handbasket after that.  at one point i really wanted to hold him down and pry his mouth open.  but i didn't.

it got ugly.

he's in bed now.  hopefully sleeping it off.

so.  i say all that to say this.  if you're having a hard day, you aren't alone.  and no one is perfect.  i get so freaking tired of reading about perfect kids.  welp.  guess what.  mine isn't perfect.  just like i'm not perfect.  i never will be.  neither will pratt.  or max.  wait. max might be.  he was baby jesus in the christmas play. sooooo, there's always that.

anywho.  say a prayer for pratt.  because if he ever mentions peeing on someone again, you might see me on the news.

the 1000 dollar rock.

introducing the rock priced at just over 1000 dollars....

i'm pretty certain we could have bought the church a new piece of playground equipment with that kinda money.  oh well.  glad it's out and that he can now walk straight :)

it took like 1 minute to get this booger out.  the anesthesiologist asked him what was in there and he told her a rock.  she asked if someone else put it in and he looked at her like she was crazy and said, "no.  i did."  he went on to tell her that he was only trying to make himself an earring.  but that it fell in.  and he couldn't get it out.  but he had tried.

she and i both agreed that he should just stick to making rock earrings for me.  NOT for himself.  i mean, let me put on the record that he can get as many earrings as he wants if he's ever in a band.  or if he cures cancer.  but until then, no earrings.

when i walked back to recovery to get him, a nurse was holding him.  his name was mark.  and he was so sweet sitting there in that rocker holding pratt.  he handed him to me and as pratt woke mark asked if he knew where he was.

pratt's response was, "i fink we're in little rock".  he was right.  and then when mark if he could see him, pratt's response was, "yes.  i see free (three) of you.  one there.  and one there and one there."  he was just a wee bit groggy.

he ate a blue popsicle and told mark all about how cookie has popsicles like that at her condo and that he always ate them and she would always put a towel around them for him and that she has a dog named skeet who always barks when the condo door opens and that pop has a yellow boat and that he's gonna go fishing with his daddy and pop pop from the boat and....

well, you get the picture.  poor mark.  he stood there for the entire story.  nodding along.  acting like he was interested.

i carried him out.  we got a few donuts.  and were home by 830.

mom said i need to hand the rock by the bills we receive.  yes.  i agree.  and pratt needs a job to pay us back.  if you know of anything, let me know....

kidding.

burnon.

I'm fairly certain that leaving my baby with the nurse to head to the surgery room while I was sent back to the waiting room is the hardest thing I've done since I had to leave him in the NICU 3 years, 8 months and 1 day ago.

I almost started crying. But I didn't. Only because I know it's out of my hands.

I've been explaining to him that he will get medicine to fall asleep. And then he will wake up and it will be out. We have talked about Vernon. And about how he helps people fall asleep. So this morning he kept asking where "Burnon" was ;)




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five.

max's fifth word was spoken today.

Bye bye.

To the Kroger check out lady.

Fitting. As Kroger is our 3rd favorite place to be.


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dear max.

this morning max was dedicated.  or christened.  on his first birthday.

it was such a special day.  and all on mother's day.  we had a wonderful "build max's library" birthday party for him after church.  and then we took long, long naps.  which meant we stayed up until around 9.  yes.  boys too.

i think it was the best day yet.  i'm quite positive it was the best day i've had as a mother.

when i think about how fast time has flown in the past year, it hurts my heart.  i really do wish that they would stay with us forever.  that they would never move away to college.  never get married.  never fall in love with some other girl.

but i guess then they would never experience the love and happiness and joy that i experienced today.

and i want nothing more than that for these two precious angel babies.

thank you boys (all three of you) for making me the happiest mom in the entire world.  my life really was pretty meaningless before you all came along.

dear max,

happy first birthday, sweet boy.

i remember when it was just pratt.  you were in my belly.  and i would dream about what you might look like.  and act like.  and be like.

never in my wildest dreams did i imagine how great you would be.  you are so happy.  so laid back.

you love pratt.  and all animals.  cats and dogs.  and frogs and fish.  you love to eat.  mostly cheese puffs.  the only food you turned your nose up at was scrambled eggs.  and i don't blame you.  yuck.  you crawl like crazy and have tried numerous times to pull up.  you stand with support and i know it's only a matter of days before you take off walking.

you say mama, dada and "at".  which means "pratt" and "cat".  and today...on your first birthday, you said your fourth word.  "ty ty".  i was walking inside from the party when i met tyler with you.  in the mudroom.  he was holding you and he was so excited.  he said, "listen!  watch!  look what he can do." and then in his sweetest voice, he said, "say it max.  say ty ty".  and you did it.  and it really is the sweetest little sound.  you already know to love him.  smart boy.  he will throw you on couches and beds and probably anywhere else you want to be thrown.  just ask pratt.

you don't like windy days.  it seems to take your breath away.  that's pretty much it.  you've had a constant ear infection since october in your left ear.  we go in for a a tube evaluation on thursday.  i'm hoping they will put them in on friday :)  or thursday afternoon would be cool with me.  i'm so ready for you to feel better.  and stop having infection after infection.

i love you.  to the moon and back.  you and your brother and your daddy are my everything.  i cannot imagine life any different than it is right at this second.  i would go back and relive colic a million times.  i really would.  (that is a big statement).  but it's true.

thank you for making me a mommy.  thank you for reminding me of what's important in life.  and thank you for making my heart grow double one year ago today.

i'm so blessed to be your mommy.

xoxo,
mommy.

week 52.

It's really real.




My baby is one day shy of being a one year old baby boy.

He apparently got the memo.

Because since we've been back from vacation, he has been acting like he's 2. It's like it happened overnight.

And it breaks my heart.

Praise the Lord for mirena.

Because right about now, I'd be attempting to convince my husband that we need another child. And he's easily convinced.
I'm gonna post this and then go back and read about the 100 days of colic. That should do some good.

Happy early birthday to my sweet baby boy. I love you more than you loved your first order of French fries.




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tjmaxx.

yesterday i took my kids to tjmaxx.

i know.

i don't know.  i have no idea what i was thinking.

wait.  i was thinking i needed a swimsuit for the b.hamas (as pratt calls it) and i only had 2 days to get one.  and i refuse to pay 120 bucks at dillards.  i knew they had one last year that i bought for like 30.  so off we went.

i took them to chick fil a first.  it's funny because i used to worry about taking pratt there.  because i was always worried he would throw a fit about leaving.  he doesn't do that now.  it's heaven.  so we ate and played and then loaded up across the parking lot to the tjmaxx.

well.  first, i let pratt walk instead of riding in the buggy.  because that thing is tiny.

he kept running through the clothes.  because he's that height.  so that was super horrible.  trying to look for clothes, make sure he didn't get kidnapped and keep max happy was hard.  really, really, really hard.

at one point i actually said, "pratt.  someone is going to take you if you keep running away.  and they aren't gonna be nice.  they won't get you snocones.  and you won't have little b.  so run away if you want.  but i'd advice against it."

for the next 3 minutes he was right by my side.  terrified.  because i'm an awesome mom.  but then he forgot about the i've got ice cream, little boy, man and he circled the clothes again.

finally we got the dressing room.

i had several swimsuits to try on.  which is depressing enough.

i convinced him to take his shorts off and try on some shorts i had gotten for him.  finally, like 3 minutes later (after he made every face in his repertoire to the 3 way mirror) he took off ALL his clothes.  i don't know how he did it without me seeing.  but all of a sudden, i turn around and he's butt naked.  shaking it. screaming, "wook mom!  wook at me!"  i'll stop there.  but yes.  uh huh.

so i asked him to please put his undies back on.  at that, he sat on the floor.  yes.  the bare, concrete floor of the tjmaxx dressing room.

which of course, prompted a good ole', "mom!  this floor is so cold on my penis!" and then he would just fall out laughing.  it was then i heard a lady next to us, giggle.  awesome.

after getting his underwear on,  he tried the shorts on which were of course too big.  i'm still frantically trying to keep max from jumping out of the buggy AND try clothes on.  it was then i cussed every woman who has a job and can do this crap on her lunchbreak.  i'm so jealous.

at some point, i asked him to sing a song.  i suggest "jesus loves me" to which he replied, "i don't know that one."  yes he does.

but before i could remind him that yes, in fact, he does know it well, he says, "i know this one..." and proceeds to sing katy perry.

this is the part of me 
that you never ever take away from me
oh this is the part of me!!!!1
part of me!!!!


i was so embarrassed.  i stopped him.  and forced "jesus loves the little children".  which he agreed to.  thankfully.

he did well for a few minutes and then he asked, "why does your skin stick out like that, momma?"

he was referring to my butt sticking out of the swimsuit at the leg hole.  because well, you know.  why not?

and at that, i called it a day.  and i allllllmost stopped at a liquor store on the way home.  but i didn't.  go, me.

marriage.

it took clint a long time to ask me to marry him.

and by long time, i mean like 8 years of dating.

not really.  but it feels like it.  it was like 6.  or maybe 4.  idk.  it was forever.

our first date was december 6 of 2002.  he asked me to marry him in october of 2006. so 4.  but listen, everyone around me was getting married.  and i was getting old.  like, 25.  bahahahhaaa.  i was not old.  but i thought i was.  anyway.  it was 4 years that felt like 10.

i broke up with him like twice.  because he wasn't sure he'd ever really want to be married.  he was smart. he knew that it would be hard.  and that it would be work.  i had no idea.  everything in my life had been so simple up to then.  i hope this doesn't sound the wrong way...but i had never really wanted for anything.  ever.  some might say i was spoiled.

i disagree.

i realized what things cost.  i realized how hard my parents worked to get along both in front of us and behind closed doors.  i knew how hard my parents worked so they could put food on the table.  none of that was lost on me.

back to the relationship.  he has always been so grown.  so intelligent.  so older than his age.  and so he was aware.

in those four years, we worked towards a marriage.  i see that now.  we talked a whole heck of a lot about babies.  and money.  and church.  and debt.  and other things too.  less important things.  but by the time we got engaged, i knew him like i knew my sister.

i had no questions about what he might say or do in any given situation.  i could honestly tell you what most mattered to him.  and he could do the same for me.  there were NO secrets.  which was huge.  because there had always been secrets from other boyfriends.  even small things.  like how self conscious i was about my fat knees.  seriously.  clint was the only one that knew.

on saturday, it will be five years since we said "i do".

this past year has definitely been the hardest.  it's better now.  much better.  but still, there are hard days with two kids.

but i've never, ever felt like i was sleeping next to a stranger.  i've never felt that i didn't know him just as well today as i did 10 years ago.  and for that, i'm so thankful.

we haven't really had any hard times.  i mean, by comparison.  we've been lucky.  i realize that.

i also realize that he loves me more today than he loved me five years ago.  i have no idea how i found him.  i really don't.  i just know that the first time i saw him, he was wearing a white wife beater, camo cut off shorts and had the longest sideburns i had ever seen.  and he was really tan.  he was sitting in that zoology lab thinking he was the stuff.  little did i know, he was.  he is.  he really is the best.

so clint, if you're reading this...thank you for loving me.  i know it's incredibly hard sometimes.  thank you for putting up with me.  for never getting mad about all the q-tips that don't make it into the trashcan.  for always accepting that your laundry will never really all be done.  for letting me stay home and be a mom while you work your butt off at two jobs.

i love you back.  may our boys grow up to be just.like.you.

xoxo.

and my favorite picture that i came across today.  it never gets old looking at those discs.

pop pop.

dear pratt,

You are one lucky little boy. You and your brother (and your cousin Liza) have a certain someone wrapped around your little finger.




he's the first man I ever loved.
and he loves you as much as he has ever loved me.
you lucky dog.
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