dear pratt,
right now you are at kids day out. you've been there for 27 minutes. and i can't help but wonder how you're doing. the minute we walked in the doors of the church, you stuck out your bottom lip. and your eyes immediately got red rimmed. laura was there to talk to you. and you got much better once we walked into the baby room and you saw the toys to play with. you were immediately interested in one of the walkers. i set you down in it to describe to your sweet teacher your routine. you did fine until you saw me walking out. and then you started crying.
i finished paying and filling out your paperwork. and when i came back to peek in at you, you were okay again. not really doing toe touches or anything...but you weren't crying.
several people have asked me if i would cry while you were there.
i haven't. and i guess it's because i know that it's not that big of a deal.
i'm a crier. i cry about everything. but kids day out should be fun. and so because of that i won't cry.
i cried when you were in the hospital that first week. i cried when you were hurting from your little infection. i cried because you were alone. all alone in that big, flat hospital bed. with all those wires and tubes. i cried then.
i even cried when you had your finger pricked for blood.
but i won't cry now. because i'm a big girl. i'm a mom. and moms can't cry about stuff like this. there is so much more in the world worth shedding tears for.
i dunno...like kids with cancer. and the fact that the people i love most won't live forever. and the fact that you turn one year old in like, four days.
all those things are worth crying over. but not kids day out.
i'm at the library now. tried to blog, but the blogger.com site was not allowed. so i'm emailing this letter to myself and i'll post it later.
i love you little man. and i'll see you soon. thanks for letting mommy have a little time to herself. this library here is probably my favorite thing in saline county. it's tucked away, into the woods...huge. brick. with lots of trees. fantastic. i can't wait for you to come see it. maybe we'll come tomorrow.
love, mommy.
ps. i didnt get a picture today. couldn't do it to you. you like pictures and cameras and i didn't want you to associate crying with cameras. so i'll get one later. when you actually enjoy going. because i know one day you will. (crossing my fingers :)
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About Me
- hannah
- i'm a girl who likes to write. not a girl that's necessarily good at writing. it's cathartic, i think. and boy do i need that from time to time. i married a wonderful man named clint in may of 2007. he is everything i am not. he is calm. he makes plans. he is organized. his truck is always clean. his clothes are hung by types of shirt/color/size/etc. i'm full of nervous energy. i'm spur of the moment. i can't ever find what i'm looking for. we live in my car...pretty much. i'm lucky if my clothes are within ten feet of my closet. God gave us a precious angel of a baby in september of 2008. his name is pratt allen. he is 2.5 years old.we have another little one on the way. his name is max wesley. and he is due may 19th. somehow i'll be the mother of two boys. craaaaa.zy. i spend my days cleaning house. picking worms and caterpillars out of the flower beds. cooking meals. shopping at target. washing clothes. playing on the floor. reading books. doing puzzles. traveling to sonic. and the library. and blogging. i hope you enjoy our blog. feel free to leave a comment. hopefully it's a nice one. i tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.
2 comments:
if mommies aren't allowed to cry about kdo, then i've been a bad, bad girl. see my next blog!
Mommies can cry about whatever their hearts desire :) this mommy needed kdo. and so maybe that's why I didn't cry. And I kept telling myself that pratt enjoying playing with other kids in new situations is important. I really believe that. But were all different! Certainly nothing wrong with crying!
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