middle ground.

on the 12th of every month...around 930 at night, you can find me in the bed, with my bedside lamp on...reading my "what to expect the first year" book.

silly? probably. but it's what i do the night before pratt turns one month older.

for a few months now, i've worked on sign language with him. simple words. cat, dog, eat, milk, and more. oh, and sleepy.

i'm not sure it's working, but there are days when i look at pratt and think, "man, i wish he could talk. i know he has so much to say." it's in the way he looks at me. you all know what i mean. just the other night my mom said the same thing. it's how he looks at you with those inquisitive eyebrows. and sort of squints his eyes together like he's thinking.

the other day i walked into the kitchen to grab something to drink. i literally left him on his tummy, on his blanket for...maybe 20 seconds. i returned to find him with ace's chew toy about an inch away from his mouth. pratt had his mouth wide open. it was like slow motion.

i ran over and quickly took it from pratt. and i almost yelled, "NO!".

but i didn't. i'm not sure what stopped me. i think maybe that he's so incredibly sensitive. if you raise your voice (at someone else in the room), he flips out. his bottom lip comes out...and he immediately begins to cry. if i laugh too loud (which i do frequently), he will immediately look to me to see what he should do. it's that looking at his mom or dad to find out what his own reaction should be.

scary.

my friend tanna recently blogged about saying "no-no" to her little girl. she wondered if brylee understood. or if she should even say it.

i wonder the same thing.

a month ago, i read where around 8 months, some babies will understand "no"...now, whether or not they obey...totally different story. and according to the "what to expect" people, around 10 months, most babies get it. again, obeying....not yet, probably.

i've said no to pratt several times. when he tries to pull my nose off my face with his incredibly sharp talons (amy, that's for you :). when he grabs ace's playtoys and attempts to put them in his mouth. etc. etc.

yet, everytime i do it, i remember dr. john murphy. and the school i've had thus far. and how i know better than to go around saying "no-no" all the time. i don't want pratt's first word to be "no." i don't want him to be the kid that says it over and over and over again. because they do that. and i find it incredibly frustrating. but i also don't want to be the parent that never says no...and so their kid is running around the grocery store knocking over old people and breaking hips.

so where is the middle ground?

i'm not sure.

but here is what i am sure about. i know that if i'm going to go being all negative, it might help to instead be positive. it might help to tell him what he can do...not just what he isn't allowed to do.

instead of always saying, "no, don't grab ace's toys." instead i should say, "pratt, those are ace's toys. here are your toys. let's play with these."

yada yada. i know my mom is rolling her eyes thinking, "oh my goodness. i knew that masters in psychology would come back to haunt me. they might as well go live in the woods in tents." whatever, cookie :)

i have several friends who do this. and i love being around them. it's nice to hear things differently. but it's hard. it's not typical. and it's certainly not easy.

but who said this was supposed to be easy, right?

in other news: i lowered pratt's bed yesterday afternoon. he's getting so close to pulling up, i got worried he'd tump himself out of his bed. also, this morning he started screaming. LOUD, people! LOUD! and it's not an upset scream...more just finding-his-voice-and-it's-freaking-loud-and-he's-a-boy-scream!

good times ahead, i can already tell!

have great thursdays!