dear pratt.

dear pratt,

when i was little, i would line up all my stuffed animals at night. you see, they stayed on my bed during the day. but at night, they had to be moved. my room was at the back of the house. i had french doors onto the upstairs back porch. and so i would line all the animals up along the doors. they all had pillows and blankets. i couldn’t sleep until i knew they were all comfortable. i would worry considerably about the draft from the doors…but there wasn’t anything else i could do. i needed them in a place where i could see them from my bed. you see, i’ve been neurotic from an early age.

fast forward many years. i lived in little rock. i was heading to get ice cream when i spotted a small black and white kitten on the side of the road. i got out of my car and tried to catch her. she wouldn’t come to me, but i knew i could get her eventually. i went back to your dad’s apartment and got a can of anchovies. (i dunno. your dad eats really weird things sometimes). after looking for the mom, i realized the kitten was all alone. she was so tiny…and covered in fleas. i knew i had to save her.

it was actually your dad that saved her. we bathed her that night, and got all the bugs off her. she slept on your dad’s chest that night. she spoke a language i’ve never heard from a cat. she talked. in a really weird voice. and so she was appropriately named "yoda". you’ll understand this later when you watch one of the greatest movies of all time.

as a girl, i’ve always wanted to take care of things. people. animals. even stuffed animals. and i’ve always done a pretty good job…at least i think i have. but even still, anyone could come along and take care of these things.

but you, you’re different.

i'm your mom.

and for the first time…i really feel like your mom. i finally know what it means to be yours…and only yours. i finally know what it means to be needed. to be wanted. in a way much different than anything i've ever experienced.

i wasn’t sure i would ever get to this point. when i was unable to nurse you…i felt very much like a failure. like anyone could come along and be your mom.

but i don’t feel that way anymore.

i have found my purpose. i have found my niche.

what a gift you give, sweet little boy.

i love you.