how to look like a twilight vampire.

so, i'm trying to make a sleep log for pratt's sleep. the book recommends this. bar graphs. and i was a little confused. so i was searching the internet...hoping that maybe there were some examples online.

so in the yahoo search box i typed, "sleep log, what do they look like"

and the third hit was titled,

how to look like a twilight vampire

i am NOT making this up. see for yourself...

of course i had to click on it. because, yes...maybe i want to look like one. i mean, maybe edward would find me if i looked like one. just kidding...but seriously, if you've read the book...you'll enjoy this website. hilarious...

http://www.wikihow.com/Look-Like-a-Twilight-Vampire

some of the highlights, in bold: (and i'm not making this up)

apply a lavendar eyeshadow on your eyelids and also under your eyes for under-eye bruise.

what? "under eye bruise"? what is that? i don't remember anyone having under eye bruises. i mean, they were pale, yes...but bruised? what...?

put on gold contacts if you are a vegetarian vampire.

okay, what.ev. edwards eyes flashed gold. and last time i checked he wasn't enjoying the leaves in the forest.

remember the prom was the first time bella saw edward in black.

how does this help one look like a twilight vampire?

wear hidden ice packs so you feel cold, but again for an everyday look, just don't sit next to radiators all the time.

this is my ALL TIME FAVORITE ever.ever.ever. are you kidding me? do people really walk around wearing ice packs to look like the cullens? seriously? and "radiators". what...?

someone actually made this site up. and more importantly, there are people out there wearing ice packs to be vampire-ish. oh, one more thing. it tells you not to laugh at anything unless it's really funny. and in that case, just smile. but don't try edwards crooked smile, "it's very hard". yes, that's what it said. "it's very hard".

and very impossible since there is only one edward. duh.