no one told me about the not sleeping part of having a baby. i mean, i heard horror stories about the delivery...but nothing about how hard some days would be when you get no sleep. i should have known this. you'd think in my many years (and many fields) of schooling...i would have remembered this. but it probably has something to do with the fact that part of not sleeping is not remembering anything...being overly emotional...etc.
well, i've prayed for a full nights sleep. because it's tough getting up 3 or 4 times a night. i, in no way am saying that i want pratt to be hungry through the night...no. i'm not saying that. if he's hungry, i want him to wake and eat to his heart's content.
anyway, i didn't want to say anything because i'm a true believer in jinxing things...but he actually slept through the night sunday night. he went to sleep at 830 and woke at 545. i actually had to get him out of his bed then. i heard him moving around and went in to check on him. he was just laying there. checking things out. and he just smiled up at me.
it was the best thing i've seen in a really, really long time. it ranks up there with clint's face when he saw me for the first time on our wedding day. it was that good. it's this little smile that spreads all over his face. and his eyes close. it's wonderful. heavenly, really.
anyway, i figured it was a fluke...but still, i didn't want to tell anyone because i was hoping that maybe...just maybe it wasn't...
well, last night he went to bed at 830. woke at 1230 am. woke at 330 am. woke at 5 am.
so...yeah...it was a fluke.
but...it's funny because at 1230 when i got up to get him, i was sort of excited. sort of excited that he was awake. i knew he wasn't hungry. and so i swaddled him up and lay him in the crook of my arm. his little head fits perfectly near my neck. and so i rolled him on his side and held him there, pulling my head up so that he had lots of room to breathe and wouldn't get hot breath. you know...where you are breathing in what you just breathed out. that's the worst.
anyway, i never got any sleep. because i'm too paranoid about him being there...but i loved it. i know that he'll only be this small for a short period of time. i know there will be a time when he won't want to lay that close to me.
so for now, i'll cherish those moments. and take my chances on him getting used to sleeping in my arms. oh well...worse things have happened...
just now, i put him down in his bed for a nap. i know that as he gets older, he'll be better at soothing himself to sleep. so i layed him down. he wasn't all the way asleep yet. and so i was worried he would cry. but he didn't. he looked at me...with the pacifier in his mouth. and then just dozed off.
i couldn't help but stand over his crib for a few minutes. looking at this little boy. this little boy that has completely changed my life. this little boy that is half me, half clint. i'm still amazed that anyone can look at any baby and not believe in a higher power, not believe in God. and His work.
for many weeks now, i've prayed for him to be at an age where he'd sleep for extended periods of time.
and now...now, i'm praying that time will slow down. that he will stay little for just, just a little bit longer...
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About Me
- hannah
- i'm a girl who likes to write. not a girl that's necessarily good at writing. it's cathartic, i think. and boy do i need that from time to time. i married a wonderful man named clint in may of 2007. he is everything i am not. he is calm. he makes plans. he is organized. his truck is always clean. his clothes are hung by types of shirt/color/size/etc. i'm full of nervous energy. i'm spur of the moment. i can't ever find what i'm looking for. we live in my car...pretty much. i'm lucky if my clothes are within ten feet of my closet. God gave us a precious angel of a baby in september of 2008. his name is pratt allen. he is 2.5 years old.we have another little one on the way. his name is max wesley. and he is due may 19th. somehow i'll be the mother of two boys. craaaaa.zy. i spend my days cleaning house. picking worms and caterpillars out of the flower beds. cooking meals. shopping at target. washing clothes. playing on the floor. reading books. doing puzzles. traveling to sonic. and the library. and blogging. i hope you enjoy our blog. feel free to leave a comment. hopefully it's a nice one. i tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.
3 comments:
As you well know, there are a thousand books out there on how to rear your kid, how to feed your kid, how to...whatever. Anyway, one that I read with Blakeleigh, that I wish I'd read with Bryton, that I re-read this time is called Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. It's sorta corny, and by no means did I do everything the chick said to do, but it DOES help with sleepytime issues.
Check it out.
Other than that.... keep praying, sista. And congrats on your fluke.
Fluke schmuke - you got a full night sleep :) I got a "nurse nest" when jackson was 2 months and he slept all night from there on out...I didnt care what anyone said. I knew that with no future children would I be able to spend this much one on one time or that he'd be that little forever and I loved it. LOVED IT. He still sleeps with us sometimes and we both love it... we know he won't even want to snuggle when he's older and I cherish any time he wants to now. It works for us - other people would freak...but we wouldnt have it any other way.
I've never, ever regretted it.
Hannah, I just wanted to thank you for being so honest during these first few months. It made me feel good to realize I wasn't the only one that felt the same way.
I wasn't going to suggest anything, just tell you thank you but another good book for nap and bedtime routines/schedules is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby."
Kara
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