quality time.

a while back i read somewhere (or maybe heard somewhere) that kids don't remember everything from their childhood.

but what they do remember is how much time their parents spent with them.  parents, loved ones, caregivers, etc.

i haven't seen the data on this, but there is no doubt in my mind that it is very, very true.

i don't remember many of the gifts i received on my birthday, christmas, easter...but i so clearly remember being (really being) with my parents.

i remember playing golf with my dad.  or going to the racetrack.  i remember sitting at our kitchen table and cooking with my mother.  i remember listening to my mother read superfudge and the giving tree.

it's those things that take time.  that don't just happen because you put a book in front of a child.  or send them on their way to play outside alone.  no.  it's the mentally exhausting things.  those that drain you good.

yesterday pratt went to the doctor with me.  he was perfect the entire time.  honestly, he was.  i'd be the first to tell you if something went wrong.

but the constant worry sometimes gets the best of me.  i'm sitting there on the table...waiting.  and all i can think about is how good he's being.  and how at any minute he could hop up, quit eating his peanuts and head for that long, skinny light they use during an exam.  you know the one.  with the bendy neck.  i just kept thinking, what if when dr. s. has the doppler out, pratt gets up and heads for that lamp.  and grabs it.  what will i do!?

of course, it never happened.  but by the time we left the office, i was completely exhausted.

i know that i put this pressure on myself.  (and indirectly, on my child...i know, i know.)

how did my parents do it?  i have to believe that at times, they were stressed out.  but they never let me know.  i'm pretty sure pratt knows i'm stressed.

i've noticed more and more, him coming up to me and asking me something.  then ordering me to "stay there" and having me do said activity with him.  like, he crawled up in my lap the other day.  i was on the computer.  and he told me he wanted to watch mickey mouse on youtube.  so i got it started.  i was about to take him off my lap and put him on the chair when he looked up at me and said, "no momma.  you stay here and watch this with me.  k? k."

i never want him or this baby to think that i don't have time for them.  because i do.  i always, always, always do.  i just need to be reminded of it sometimes.

because i get it in my head, that other things are important too.  like a clean home.  and clean clothes.  and a cooked, good, balanced meal.  and i worry that i'm neglecting these things.

it's then i can hear that voice in my head.  that voice that says, "hannah, be still.  sit and play and do puzzles.  and dance.  and laugh.  everything else will come together in due time."


so boys, if you're reading this...please know that i love you both.  and that i'm so far from perfect.  and that i will make a million mistakes in my lifetime.  but i have every good intention regarding you two.

one day i pray that you will both understand just how hard being a parent is.

decorah eagles.

my blog friend, lori, sent this link to me.

it's of 2 decorah eagles that are in their nest at a fish hatchery in decorah, iowa.

from what i've read, their eggs are hatching.  two have already hatched...and a third will hatch any day now.

click here to watch the live stream.

i've been watching for about 30 minutes.  totally intrigued.  i want to go up and put a blanket on that sweet thing though.  it has to be cold with that wind blowing so strong.

pratt is gonna die when he sees it.  i may never get him to leave the computer monitor.

sidenote: i'm not sure if i'd let your wee ones watch alone.  to the left of the screen, you see a dead fish and what i think is a dead bird.  and from what i've read, the eagle and eagle babies have been pecking at that dead bird.  i mean, after all...nature isn't always "cute".  but still, pretty cool to watch this all.  but that beak is pretty powerful.  and that dead fish is pretty gross.

thank you again lori for thinking of us!

testy.

as in "testosterone".  as in "too much".

whew.

i'm mad.  i've been mad most of today.  mad at the seater at our favorite mexican restaurant.  because he said they no longer seat children in booths.  um, okay. what?

mad at miley cyrus for being stupid on her twitter account.

mad at the moe-ron who stopped an entire lane of traffic this morning at 1030 am headed into little rock on interstate 430.  i mean, interstates should NEVER stop.  ever.  there is a reason for 3 lanes.

i'm mad at bethenny frankel for freaking out on jason.  he's a doll, bethenny.  he was just trying to do something special.  (let me say here that you would all hate my guts and livers if i were on tv with clint.  i would get hate mail.  everyone would like him.  think he was great.  and hate me.  but whatever.  i'm not on tv.  so there.)

i'm mad at my former gym for charging me for this month's dues when i'm not even a member anymore.

pretty much, i'm mad at anyone and everyone.  and if you need something taken care of...like, you need someone to call and get something done for you...i'm your girl.  call me.  give me the scoop and i'll take care of it.

it's like i'm on the d.rugs.  or maybe steroids.  yes.  a roid rage.  that's what this feels like.

okay.  enough of me being pathetic.

you know what really sounds good right now?

chocolate peanut butter pizza from larry's.  yes.  i think that would cure my disease.

headband.

There's A LOT of extra weight being carried around on my feet right now.

Needless to say, they need a pedicure every week. But it's not feasible. I have a gift certificate from my sweet mother in law from Christmas. I'm gonna use it, but I'd rather use it around 39 weeks. You know...so it will really count.

Today Pratt spotted a blister. Or maybe just a dry patch. Idk. Something didn't look right.




He was pretty worried. Wanted to know if it hurt. If it was gonna get better. Etc.

He took it upon himself to walk upstairs, find his "headband" (bandaid) stash...and stick one on my boo boo.





What a sweet, sweet boy.

In other news, my 34 week appointment went well. I go back in 2 weeks. He will check me then and we will begin going every week!!! Crazy!!!!

I'm not ready. At all. I already miss the sleep I'm never gonna get.

Also, I'm thinking about no epidural. Yes. Bc people did it forever. And it can't be THAT bad! Right!?

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rolaids.

Last night at 208 am, Pratt comes into our room. Wide awake.

He has the following: his blanket. His b. His cow pillow pet. And max's sleep sheep.

He says, "hey momma!" like it's maybe 208 pm in the afternoon.

I think he might have said, "scoot over" or something. Idk. It was early.

I immediately said, "oh no. Lets go back to your room."

He immediately said, "oh no. I'm scared of the thunder."

There was no thunder. That was the night prior. When I informed him of this, he said, "oh. Uh, ok. Then will you sing me sandman five times!?" as he held up his little bitty hand.

So I did. I turned on his lullabies and I sang it six times. And then rubbed his hair until he fell asleep.

The whole thing reminded me of trying to get in my parents bed as a child. I would go in and complain about a tummy ache. Dad would give me a rolaid and send me back to bed.

Years later, we moved that bed and I bet there were 200 rolaids under that bed. Apparently I just tossed them over.




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One. Two. Three. Four...

Just to document.

I'm in a serious nesting phase.

Tonight, at 830 pm, while Pratt and clint watched American Pickers, I found myself on my hands and knees cleaning our shower.

I could hear Clara Fisher's voice in my head. Telling me not to use harsh chemicals while pg. I tried Clara. I started off with peppermint method tub and tile cleaner.

But quickly, moved to bleach. And comet. And a Brillo pad. Oh, and a magic eraser.

My shower is clean. As are the toilets. And the sinks. And the laundry is all done. Oh, and everything is dusted.

But the most impressive part is that I didn't scream at my sweet honey of a husband when he said, "Hannah, why did you choose now to clean the shower!?"

Really!? Really!? Oh. Okay. Because you know. I mean, I WANT to clean a shower on my hands and knees at 9 pm WHILE GIGANTIC PREGNANT.

I just politely said, "because I noticed how dirty it was. And didn't want to wait."

No one seems to really understand that stay at home mothers don't do ANYTHING alone during the day. Seriously. I don't watch tv. I can't get on the computer. I can't pee. Nothing. I always have a little visitor.

So if you're reading this...and you too have wondered why your significant other cleans the shower at 9 pm, it's because time is pretty irrelevant at this point.

I'm gonna go count to 10. Cause I'm mad all over again. Blah.


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it's the phil, momma.

pratt: "everything is so green outside, momma."

me: "i know.  that's what happens in the spring.  everything comes back to life.  and the weather starts to warm up.  and flowers start to bloom.  and everything is more green."

pratt: "it's the phil, huh momma?"

me: "the phil?  i don't know what that is.  dr. phil?"

pratt: "no.  the phil in the grass.  that makes it green.  that gets on my fingers and makes them green too.  the phil, momma.  the phil."

me: "um, yes.  the chlorophyll.  in the plants.  that's what makes your fingers green."

he never forgets ANYTHING.  i told him this like 3 days ago.  why does he remember everything?  this is going to get ugly when he's a wee bit older and starts repeating other things i say.  and shouldn't say.

but on the upside...emily watts, please walk over and tell tim knight that my child has dibs on teaching zoology lab come 2027.  and that maybe he'll meet his wife in that lab.  i just hope for everyone's sake that his wife isn't wearing cut off camo shorts and a wife beater.  and that she DOESN'T have sideburns.

but i mean, come on...that look totally worked for his daddy :)