weekend.

this weekend was a tough one.  i'm not sure why.  it started off okay.  but at some point went south and never came back north again.

i feel better today after talking with my sister yesterday.  sometimes sisters just know what to say.  no judging.  no "it could be worse".  just more of the i-love-you-and-i'm-so-sorry kind of thing.

we had a great time on the lake.  but one bad morning is enough to spoil an entire day lately.  i think because i know that when max wakes up in a bad mood, there's just no getting over it.  usually that means the entire day will be that way.  and so i just pray that night will fall.  and that we can have a fresh start.

pratt has been absolutely incredible.  i just can't say enough about his behavior.  most of my fears have been washed away concerning his reaction to max.  he doesn't even get mad when max screams during an entire episode of curious george.  so pratt, thank you.  from the bottom of my heart.  i, honest to goodness, don't know what i would do without you.  you have gone from being my little boy to one of my closest friends.  i realize that you can't be my "friend" forever...but right now, that's exactly what i need.  so thank you.  soon things will be back to normal and max will be happy.  i just know it.

i broke down on clint yesterday.  i admitted to him that i feel so lonely.  even though i'm in a house full of people...i'm terribly lonely.  one of my best friends said this to me once.  that she felt lonely.  even around other people.  the minute she said it, i got it.  i totally understood.  that's where i am right now.  lonely.

things will get better.  i know it.  but for now, i'm just a little lonely.

here is a picture i got on the boat yesterday.

i love it.

more pictures later.  and i promise to be less depressing.  i'm worse than an ernest hemingway novel.