happy two months, max.

i know that none of you will believe me.  except allison and stacy.  because you've both witnessed it with your own eyes.  but...

it's like that movie changeling over here.

like, someone snuck in one night and took max.  and brought back a child that looks just like him.

but acts nothing like the pre-2 month max.

it's weird.  for the second night in a row, he is sleeping from 845 pm until 6 am.  on.the.dot.

but even better, he's napping during the day.  like four naps.  for at least an hour at a time.

and even better than that, he's happy.  or content.   yes, content.  he's not giggling or anything.  but he's not flipping the bird.  and he's not screaming.  he's just watching.  sitting and watching.  taking it all in.  sometimes he does it cross-eyed, but hey...that's cool.  whatever.  as long as he isn't screaming.

i know that as soon as i post this, he's gonna wake up screaming and never stop.  just to prove me wrong.  but...i'll risk it.

to say thank you to all of you who have read this and been praying for me.  for us.  because i know there are so many of you.  so thank you.  thank you, thank you.  i honestly believe that prayers have been answered.  and that God has given me the strength to keep going.  and He gave me pratt to keep me going when i didn't think i could.  it's been a long 2 months.  but we all have our health.  and we're all gonna make it.  even me. ha.

i was watching my friend stacy in church sunday.  she was looking down at her youngest who has one more year before kindergarden.  i would never be able to put in words what i saw on her face.

i know how much she loves him.  i also know that as she watches him grow up, it's bittersweet.  he taught himself how to ride a bike.  and that makes him so old.

as i sat and watched her, i could see myself in 3 years.  with pratt. watching him.

and i knew exactly how she felt.

thank you again for all the prayers.

my friend allison once said that it takes so many to get a child to his first birthday.  it's not just about the child turning 1.  but about the parents, the grandparents, the friends...everyone who has helped get that child to that milestone.  it was so smart.  and so well said.

i echo her today.  somehow we made it to max's 2 month birthday.  i don't know how i did it.  as allie says, i just got up each day.  and worked through it.  kept looking to the future.  to a time when i wouldn't cry.  and wouldn't hurt.  and wouldn't be so incredibly depressed.  she says it much better than me...here.  let me say that i am in NO WAY comparing my postpartum and max's screamfest 2011 to allie's loss.  or anything else any of you might be going through.

long road to small house...thank you to each of you for reading along with us.  for praying along with us.  for loving us.

and for getting us to this milestone for him.  and for me.

love to all of you.