to remember.

i want to remember clint's face every time i bring up the fact that this baby is a little boy.

it's a smile that i can see when i close my eyes.  it's a big one.  one that changes his entire face.  he shows his teeth and it makes his eyes squint down.  it's the same one he gives to pratt when pratt makes him proud.

i think as a parent, you always want the best for your children.  i always knew that.  because my  mom and dad told me that over and over and over again when i was a child.  when they were on the verge of pulling their hair out with me.  but i didn't really understand it, until now.

all i thought about last night when i was trying to get to sleep was how much fun pratt and his brother would have together.  yes, there will be fighting.  duh.  i wouldn't expect anything else.

but oh, the memories they will make.  in the front yard.  looking for ladybuys.  and worms.  telling each other stories before bed.  whispering to each other and laughing.  sharing a bunk bed.  pratt passing down his old john deere cowboy boots.  and his frog raincoat.  playing in tents.  with guns and swords.

all the things that little boys do.

i think i'm most excited about seeing clint with them.  with TWO boys.  two boys who i hope grow up to be exactly like him.  with beards.  and boots.  and i hope they hunt.  (did i really just say that?!).   and i hope they let me help them cook their duck and deer and anything else brought in this kitchen.  and maybe, just maybe i'll even eat it.  i mean, my dad did eat a dish with sour cream once when i begged him and told him i had worked hard on it.  he even acted like he liked it.

pratt doesn't fully comprehend what he's getting.  i don't think he will until he's much older.  it wasn't until i had pratt that i realized what spencer means to me.

she's my very best friend.  she's my biggest fan.  and she loves pratt like she will love her own children one day.

i'll have to bookmark this post so that when i have two boys beating each other up, i'll remember why at one time, i was excited about the idea of it all :)

happy new years eve!