dear pratt.

dear pratt,

we spent almost two hours in target this afternoon. it's official, you love it there. that's good, because i love target more than any other place in the world. well, no...i love that hotel where we stayed on our honeymoon in the dominican republic...and then target. yes, target is second. but i mean, come on. second to the beach. i think the target people would say that's pretty good.

i bought a cd with lullabies on it. with no words. i can't sleep to words. i'm pretty sure your brain would continue working, trying to figure out what the words mean (like when the tv is on)...so bought the one that is purely instrumental.

i played it tonight while we rocked. up to this point, you haven't really ever let me rock you to sleep. you're way to worried about what's going on around you. but tonight, for whatever reason...you let me rock you to sleep. and i know that i'm probably not supposed to. i'm supposed to let you soothe yourself...but life's too short. i wanted to rock you. like a baby. because you don't seem all that much like a baby lately.

as you lay there in my arms, a song came on. i recognized it immediately. well, not the title...but it was a song that was played at some point during "father of the bride". this is a movie that one day you'll wonder why i watch over and over and over again. that and "sleepless in seattle" and "you've got mail". you'll probably never get it. your dad doesn't. he rolls his eyes when he comes in and i'm watching them. he laughs at me, because every.single.time they are on, i cry. like, big crocodile tears, cry.

anyway, the song came on. and suddenly your life flashed before my eyes. i realized that all too soon, you'd be grown. you'd be in high school. you'd have your first car. your first date. and you'd be too big for me to rock. you'd be too big for me to hold. but don't for a second think that i won't be like that old lady in "i love you forever." because i will drive over to your house and get you out of bed and rock you.

i don't want you to grow up. i really don't. i want you to stay this age forever. i cannot imagine what i'll do the first time someone hurts your feelings. oh, man...i'm nuts.

you're fast asleep now. even the tears that were pouring out of my eyes didn't wake you. it's a good thing. maybe you won't know how crazy your mom is. maybe you'll grow up thinking i'm normal.

a girl can always hope...right?

i love you.