dear pratt.

dear pratt,

you were a blues brother for halloween.  you were jake. anyway.  when it came time for pictures at preschool a few weeks ago, you mentioned wanting to wear your "blues brother tuxedo" because you looked so handsome in it. at first i didn't know what to say.  because while you WERE handsome, it's a tuxedo.  and you've got to really commit to that look.

but the more i thought about it, the more i realized that you are 5.  and if you want to wear a tuxedo to your preschool picture, then so be it.  and it fits your personality really, really well.

up to this point, you've never really experienced anyone being critical of you.  or your clothing.  your name.  nothing like that.

you have an incredible class of sweet, sweet kids.  the boys in your class are kind, gentle little souls who don't yet think about clothes.  or what's cool.  or what's not.  they're just interested in playing soldier.  and tag.  and playing chase.

so wednesday morning, we put your tuxedo on.  and as you stood in the mirror looking at yourself, you turned to me and said, "momma...how do i look?"

tears sprung to my eyes.  i told you that you were as handsome as ever.  and that i was so excited about seeing your pictures.  i just knew they would be superb.

when i posted this picture on facebook, i got this response from my friend allie.  first...let me give you a background of allie.  she is one of the most unique people i know.  she is kind.  and gentle and totally and completely non-judgemental.  she is soft in spirit.  she makes everyone she meets feel welcome and important.  and she has a heart unlike anyone else i know.  if you grow up and are kind like she is, i will have done my job.

she said this,

you will be so happy for letting him wear this - like forever.  i hope he keeps this sense of individuality forever.  i love the most that he is not the least bit worried about looking like everyone else.  what a kid.  

and then your aunt blakely wrote,

i have to agree with the above post.  he is an individual.  and being new in the pratt family...if you think about it, all the pratts are individuals.  i'm grateful that i'm a part of such a family.  

yes.  yes, yes, yes.  one million times yes.

there will be a time when you wish that you were someone else.  you'll wish you were more like some friend of yours.  you'll wish that you had his parents.  or his car.  you'll wish you had an xbox like some other kid.  or you'll wish that you had their athletic ability.

basically, what i'm saying..is that there will come a time when you don't like something about yourself.

i remember this well.  all too well really.  i remember dating a guy in college.  (NOT your dad).  i remember being in abercrombie with him.  and i remember him looking up at one of those girl models and saying, "wouldn't it be awesome if you were that thin?".

it won't make sense to you now, but those 9 words crushed me.  like you wouldn't believe.  i was at a point where i already didn't like who i was.  but now.  someone else was insinuating that they too, would like for me to be different than i was.

those scars are still there.  if i look too closely in the mirror, i see that girl. the one that whitney told me was "just a shell of the hannah" she knew.

i say all this to tell you that at this point, i'm so proud you like who you are.  i'm so proud you are comfortable in your own skin.  i pray with all that i am, that you continue to feel this way for as long as possible.

i pray that you know that beauty is found on the inside.  NOT on the outside.  i pray that you know God made you with purpose.  and that you are EXACTLY who you are supposed to be.

there are so many people in this world who will tell you these things.  come to us when you are doubtful.  ask for our advice.  ask what we think.  what we experienced.  what we KNOW to be TRUE.

at the end of the day, i think i should just remind you to surround yourself with good people.  people who put others first.  people who really understand to be kind to everyone...because as that old saying goes, everyone is fighting a battle of their own.

when you're 35 and have children of your own, you'll understand my words better then.  you'll understand that i would move mountains for you to be happy.  i promise to spend my life doing what your father and i think is best for you and your brother.

i love you.  and i'm so incredibly proud to be your mommy.

xoxo,
mom.