dear pratt.

dear pratt,

i'm not sure when it happened, but at some point, i wasn't looking and you grew up. 

you grew up into this child with a personality.  and a sense of humor.  and you have become this person that i can and do have full conversations with.  i've never known another child like you.  i think i might could have sixteen more children...and not a single one would be like you. 

you make me happier than i've ever been in my entire life.  as birdie says in hope floats, i was a pretty ordinary person for a long time.  for like 28 years.  and then i had you.  and you are what makes me special.  being your mother.  i mean that with every fiber of my being.  what i was taught in sunday school comes back to me.  God first.  others second.  me third.  i'm cool with that.  very cool with that. 

recently, i've had a few fears.  maybe not full out fears...but concerns. 

my friend kristin has two girls.  lexie and ella grace.  you remember them.  i was always amazed at how lexie never really showed much jealousy toward ella grace.  i've asked kristin how she did this.  what she did to keep this from happening.  and her answer was so simple. 

lexie knows how much we love her.  she's never questioned it.  she knows that no matter who else comes along, she will always be special to all of us.  our entire family. 

pretty good, huh?  so true.  lexie isn't threatened by ella grace because she doesn't need to be.  because she knows her worth.  and it's in NO way related to ella grace. 

this has been my prayer for you lately.  that no matter what happens at our house...be it a new baby or anything else the Lord might bring...that you never worry about it.  that you never let it upset your or make you jealous. 

i've said it before, and i'll say it again....so much of why your daddy and i are so excited about this baby is because we know what it will mean for you. 

my sister is my very best friend.  she always has been.  and she always will be.  there isn't anything in the world (that's saying ALOT) that i couldn't tell her.  i could tell her that i killed someone, and i'm positive that she'd be okay with it.  maybe not okay...but she'd love me regardless. 

you, alone, are more than i could have ever prayed for.  you, alone, are more than i could have ever dreamed of. 

when you were given to us...or shared with us...we felt...and still feel that we won the lottery. 

this morning your daddy stared at you for a good minute. just watching you sleep.  i know exactly how he felt because i feel it too.  right in my gut. 

i don't need another baby.  i don't need anything more than you and your daddy.  but i'm thrilled with the thought of loving someone as much as i love you.  and as much as i love your daddy. 
at first, i didn't know if that was possible. 

but i know it is now.  and i know you will love this sibling with all your heart. 

and trust me on this...i can and will love you....no less....with someone else around. 

never, ever, ever forget that. 

xoxo, mommy.