wednesday.

pratt had his first scholastic book fair yesterday.

OH MY HEAVENS TO BETSY!!! i literally had to sit on my hands to keep from clapping all day long.   like we walked in that morning and saw it.  and i lost my breath a little.  so did pratt.  he goes, "oh momma!  wook at all those books!!"

i promised him that we would spend as much time as necessary after school was over to pick the perfect book.

so we did just that.  oh, when i went to pick him up, he was still napping.  this was a first.  miss jamie told me that he and another little girl had trouble falling asleep.  so pratt asked if he could be next to her so he could rub her back because that might help her fall asleep.

yes, he did.  he tooootally did.  i do this to him.  and he does it to me.  while i'm on the subject...he asked me the other night if i could be his girlfriend.  bingo. jackpot. yes, please.

they both ended up falling asleep.  sweet, sweet baby.

after about 10 minutes of looking, this is the book he decided on.  they had such a great selection.  and i was a little proud of our personal book collection because we honestly had at least half the books there.  it's like maybe my mom and sister were/are school teachers or something :)

i stood in the parking lot and we read the book.  while max screamed in his car seat.  oh well.  it made pratt happy.   and at this point, one out of two is pretty awesome.  

ah.  now to one of the best pictures of all time.  

max.  isn't that hilarious!? he's totally cracking up.  he had just eaten carrots, banana and squash.  and he was still opening his mouth like a little bird.  but i stopped.  because i honestly don't know what to do with him.  pratt had to be (and still does) forced to eat.

max...nope.  he would eat all day.  he's one hundred percent my kid.  i don't know the amounts as i'm making his food.  which i LOVE to do.  but that's a whole other post.

and another great picture.  pratt in his skivvies.  grilling up some shrimp.  two of the skinniest boys i know.  have i mentioned that clint has lost 14 pounds!? on the cleanse.  yes.  he should do a commercial.

okay.  that's all for now.  happy almost friday!

mr. verbose.

Attached
Reflection
Escargot

Three words that Pratt has used correctly in the past 24 hours.

Idk.

That's all.

I'm gonna pray for his future teachers now. Because he will either be the apple of their eye or their biggest problem.


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moobs for life.

My kid started off life with this picture...





And I didn't think we would ever top it.

But then...I captured this...





And realized immediately that they are neck and neck.

Moobs for life!

Xoxo, the cutest baby EVER.

ree ree.

We don't know who this puppy belongs to. But we've named her "ree ree".

She loves max. Loves to lick his feet. And she loves nothing more than being rubbed on and talked to.

And we love her. There was this one time we were upset with her. She ate Coleman. The hermit crab. Yes. Swallowed him WHOLE. Shell and all. Idk how she's still alive.

Anywho. We love ree ree. With her crooked half underbite and all...



















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bath time.

he has ALWAYS loved the bath.


















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my p.

this morning on our way to church...

wait.  let me start over.

i'm teaching our sunday school class this month.  and you can use the word "teaching" lightly.  i'm leading a discussion.  on francis chan's "forgotten God".  it's a wonderful book.  and if you have a small group that needs a lesson, i highly recommend it.  part of leading this class means that i have to get up much earlier than normal on sunday, make copies, get the room ready, get everyone ready for church, etc.

clint got up with max last night around 4 so that i could sleep.  that way i could get up early and not be completely pooped.  even with the extra 1.5 hours that i got this morning, we were still rushed.  so i wasn't the best mom in getting ready.  i didn't take the time to fully answer pratt's questions early this morning and i think...no, i KNOW i rushed getting him ready.  didn't snuggle up with him.  didn't hug and kiss him and really do what i normally do most days.

so when we were on our way, and he brought this up...all i wanted to do was pull the car over and hug him.  and love on him.

we were just driving down the road.  i can close my eyes and see where we were.  and from the backseat, clint and i hear,

mom, when i was a baby, where was max?


my answer was, i think he was in heaven.  


but i followed it up with, right daddy?


clint said he thought so.  but more than that, max was just not made yet.

so i went on to say that while max wasn't "made" yet, God already knew that he would be pratt's little brother and a member of our family.  and that his spirit was up in heaven...waiting to come down and be put in a body.

pratt accepted that like i had told him something as simple as, "ace is a black and white puppy dog".

no questions asked.

he went on to clarify for us...

so max wasn't made yet.  and he was up in the sky when i was a baby.  but then God made me grow bigger.  and when i got bigger, God went up in the sky and brought max down and then God went right back up in the sky.  that's where he is now.  in the sky.  and max is a baby.


it seemed so clear to him.

as tears crept into my eyes, i looked back and praised him.  on his intelligence.  his kindness.  his faith.

his childlike faith.

something i wish i had more of.

in that moment, i realized something that my friend stacy said so long ago to me about one of her own children.  i complimented coleman on his love for pratt.  on how coleman never babied pratt.  how he never made pratt feel inadequate.  he never made fun of him for his little speech slips.  he never mocked him or laughed at him.  i told her that she and larry had done such a wonderful job parenting him.

and stacy said, "coleman is a wonderful child in spite of larry and me."

i finally get it.  eureka! it hit me like a ton of bricks today.  this morning.

pratt is a good kid in spite of me.  in spite of my many, many, many flaws.  my many shortcomings.

i feel so blessed to be his mom.  i feel such a sense of pride when i look at him.

does he drive me crazy sometimes by testing my limits?
yes.  he absolutely does.

but do i love him more than i love anything else in this world?
yes.  i absolutely do.

the other night before dinner he said the prayer.  and i wish i had had a video camera.  because it went like this...

god is great.  god is good.  thank you for our food.  god bless coleman, and carter.  leyton and jill.  ms. stacy and mr. larry.  god bless mommy and daddy and max and pratt.  please be with all the sick children in the hospitals.  and with scout and ace.  amen.


it was all the sick children in the hospital that got me.

i cried and cried.  and couldn't see my food to eat it.

and so, in this very moment, my prayer for pratt is that he never lose that childlike faith.  that he understand that God is found in doing good, and being kind.  and loving one another.  and may he never forget to pray for the sick children in the hospitals.  and that in doing good, he find real and true happiness.  the kind that can only be found in being loved and most importantly, loving one another.

poor pratt and max.

they have no idea, but i'm gonna be that mom.  the mom that is so incredibly embarrassing because she won't quit taking pictures.  and she won't quit crying.  the mom that has to be carried out of the elementary school because she won't quit peeking in the window of the kindergarten class.

totally and completely.

today we went to the zoo.  i (illegally, i know) packed up a bag of goodies because i planned on eating with clint for lunch at 1.  but thought we could have snacks while we were there.  i forgot water.  of course, i did.  allie saved the day with her capri suns.  thanks again, allie :)

i was sitting at the table, feeding max applesauce when it struck me.  with pratt, i couldn't have done it.  i remember trying to meet allison and several others at the pizza place for lunch.  pratt was probably max's age.  and i was on my way when pratt started crying.  we were minutes from home.  and i still had 30 minutes to go.  i cried the entire way to maumelle.  on two separate occasions i pulled over and called allison.  crying.  telling her that i couldn't make it.

because pratt was crying.  and i was emotional.  and i just wanted to be home.  alone.

times...they are a'changing.  for so many reasons.

the second is so much easier than the first with those kinda things.  you're more relaxed.  you realize that the world won't end with a crying baby (thank you colic).  you realize that your first child MUST get out of the house because you've told him that you will go to the zoo first thing in the morning.

maybe i shouldn't say "you're more relaxed".  maybe it's just me.  i was so uptight with pratt.  so worried.  i had NO idea how to raise a child.  i still don't.  but i realize now that you can make LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of mistakes and days still go by...and the child will still grow up...and will actually even be a pretty good (great, awesome, fantastic) kid.

for all these reasons, i wish i could move to my sisters house when liza kate arrives.  because i want her to know so many things.  i've thought about these things at night when i'm rocking max to sleep.  like...

i will never, ever, ever mind eating second or last or hours later so that i can hold her.  so that spencer can have a full, warm meal.  and use a knife and fork to eat.  and not worry about dropping pieces of food on her head.  i want spencer to understand this.  like, fully understand and grasp this.  because i never did.  i always feel guilty for someone holding max while i try to eat.  so spencer, if you're reading this...do not feel guilty for me to hold her while you eat. i'm begging you.

i want to come over and hold her so that spencer can take a shower.  and get dressed.  and do her hair.  and not worry about time.  not be so rushed that she doesn't put lotion on her legs.

i want so many things for her.  and i worry that if i don't give them to her, who will?  i'm in the arena, as teddy roosevelt would say.  i'm there.  i know this place well.

and while it's been a difficult three years, i wouldn't change anything.  because i honestly believe that i'm a better mom because of it.  at least, i hope i am.  i still fail.  i still fail quite often.  and i know what it's like to feel lonely...yet be surrounded by so many.

as one of my best friends says, "i'm so lonely, yet never alone."

so spencer, know that my prayer for you this entire pregnancy has been that you don't experience post partum.  and that you don't know what it's like to be so sad that you really do just want to run away.  i have prayed for clear skin, no back fat, and happiness like only sunshine and skittles can bring.

but just in case it ever starts to suck, i'm here.  and i love you.  and it does get better.  and stop listening to what i say about not having two kids.

it's worth it.

totally and completely worth it.