i knew, as soon as i looked at the camera screen, that it was all okay.
that i could stop worrying. i could stop praying we would get a good teacher.
i knew, with one hundred percent certainty, that pratt was in good hands. wonderful hands.
so.
here we are.
one year later.
so many changes.
that boy can read. like really read. he can sound out any word. and say it. he can add and subtract. he can even multiply but he doesn't know that's what he's doing.
he's grown 2 sizes. 4 shoe sizes. he's lost 7 teeth since that picture was taken.
he's somehow even more self confident. he's funny. and charming. and thoughtful.
he can get to the library and computer lab and lunchroom without getting lost. he could get to the nurse's station in his sleep (she's pretty. and he had lots and lots of "tummy aches").
he loves learning. and he is excited about first grade.
so much of this...90 percent of this is because of that teacher right there.
she was patient. and kind. WITH ALL OF THE STUDENTS.
she was fair. and private. and never divulged anything she shouldn't have.
she was organized. she sent notes home telling us what she was doing, what they were doing. and what we could do here to help. and she followed through. ALL YEAR LONG. i don't even know, man. she's like a unicorn.
she was present. all the time.
and somehow, in that room of 20 kindergarteners, she was soft spoken. consistent.
he loved her.
he still loves her. he always will.
so i write to those of you who are letting your children fly in two weeks. those of you who were like me and just knew that it was good...but it was so dang hard. those of you who will walk those babies in. and leave them at their desks. you'll smile and act like all your shit is together.
but it's not.
it's just not. and that's okay.
i can still remember walking in with him. him smiling. me smiling at him. and waving.
i knew he was okay.
but i had never left him in a new place for that long.
7 hours.
i can close my eyes and see him looking at me as i walked out. i forced myself not to cry. i forced myself to be strong. because i knew he was watching me. and if i'm honest, i knew i would be stalking him on the playground that day. and so i would see him again before 3 pm.
twice before 3 pm if i'm totally honest. and don't judge. you wait and see. that will be you too.
does it hurt to leave them?
yes.
but as so many of you told me about max, our joy is what they see.
and i know that's what we all want. to be good, joyful parents. even when that means walking away. and trusting our schools. and our teachers.
hopefully, you, like me, know that you can trust them. because that's what makes it so easy.
and if there is one thing i know after a full year of kindergarten...it is this.
support your teachers. and your school. and the principals and office staff. the cafeteria workers. support your parent teacher organization. offer to help. to help with class parties. and with extra school supplies. if you're in a position to do that, try to make it happen.
and more than anything else, remember that leaving them means they are growing. which means they are thriving. they are healthy. they are learning and loving and finding their voice.
they won't be babies forever. and we shouldn't want that. we should want them to grow and learn and change. that doesn't mean they aren't still ours. that just means life goes on. and the opposite of that is just no good. so learn...figure out some way to be okay with it.
more than just okay. figure out some way to be joyful.
happy first day.
go feel all the feelings. because there are so many.
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