dear max.

dear my sweet baby max,

i wish i could describe to you just how wonderful you are.  as you know, you had a hard time your first 7 weeks.  and by hard time, i mean that you pretty much were miserable unless you were eating or sleeping.

in the last six weeks, you have been the best baby i've ever known.  i only thought your brother was an easy baby.  you take the cake.

all you want in the world is to be talked to and loved on.  you find it hilarious when you hear your own coos.  you get tickled and laugh and laugh.

you are so relaxed.  so calm.  until you get sleepy. then it's freak out city...back to the colicy "squirmy as a worm in hot ashes".

i don't know how you are already 3 months old.  time is flying by.

but i'm enjoying every single second.  and holding you as much as i can.  when it's just me and you in the early morning hours, i love nothing more than singing to you.  i'm the worst singer, but you don't think so.  you just stare at me and smile and smile.  it's the sweetest thing.

you hate tummy time.  but love the playmat.  you love the star at the top. just like your big brother did.  you LOVE bathtime and always have.  you are taking hour naps throughout the day.  sometimes you take a 3 hour nap in the afternoon.  you are down by 730 most nights.  and sleep until the early morning. 530/6/630.

you are in size 3 diapers.  9 to 12 month clothes.  you weigh right at 17 pounds.  you are eating around 4 ounces every feeding.  and around 8 at night.

you've recently been putting your hands in your mouth.  because of this, i tried to put you down for a nap without the miracle blanket.  it didn't work.  too soon.

hate is not a strong enough word for how you feel about car rides.  you scream the entire time.  people have told me for years that "all babies love car rides".  nothing could be further from the truth.  you hate them.  so did your brother.

i love you so much.  and i am so proud to be your mommy.

happy three months old little guy.

xoxo, mommy.

dear max.

dear max,

first, remind me when you're born to spank your bottom for all the kicking you've been doing lately.  seriously kid.  seriously.  i'm pretty sure my ribs are broken.

okay.  now on to the bigger, more important issues.

your big brother loves you more than you could possibly understand.  today he helped me wash some of your clothes and linens.  we were putting the sheet on your bed, when pratt came across your sleep sheep that nana bought you.  needless to say, pratt had a million questions about it.  what it was.  why it made noises.  who got it for you.  where did nana buy it.  (he thinks all things are bought at kroger.  so explaining to him what pottery barn was...was, well...difficult.  he didn't understand why they didn't have a gumball machine at the front.  or dora yogurt available for purchase.)

anyway.  when it came time for him to take a nap, i was tucking him in when he asked if he could sleep with "baby max's sheep."  i told him that i thought you would love that.  he told me that he would sleep with it until the day you got out of my belly and then he would give it back.  (i think he thinks i ate you.)

i just want you to know now how much he loves you.  because i know there will be days when you two fight.  and someone is gonna hit someone else.  and then that one is gonna tattle.  and feelings will be hurt.  and punches will be thrown.  etc, etc.

i'm gonna apologize now for how much of a know-it-all he's gonna be.  i know this because i've seen myself with my little sister.  i was horrible.  she loved me and i was a total and complete self centered little problem child.

but through it all, i know that he will appreciate you.  just like i appreciate my sister.  because at the end of the day....all we really have is family.

pratt has mentioned several times that when you get here, he wants you to do certain things with him.  like, find rocks.  go fishing.  he really wants you to sleep with him.  he says he will teach you that the fire alarms aren't scary.  (i think this is going to be good for him.  maybe convince him that they really aren't scary.  he's totally freaked out by them.) he wants to take bubble baths with you.

and i'm sure there will be a time when he wants to give you back.  because you'll be crying.  and i won't be able to fix it.  and he will probably freak out.  and ask me to make "it" stop crying.

through all that...and even more...i promise that he loves you.  and that we love you too.  and that one day you will be thankful you have him as a big brother.

i love you.

mommy.

dear may baby.

dear may baby,

tomorrow me, your daddy and your big brother will meet you...and know for the first time...if you're a girl or a boy.

your brother has insisted for quite some time that you're a girl.  he calls you his "seester".  it's the sweetest sound.  if he is wrong, well....we'll figure out what to do at that point :)

i want you to know that it matters not to me what you are.  i don't care if you have green hair and an orange nose.  i'd tease you, and nickname you "oompa", but the love i would have for you would always be the same.  it's the love i have for pratt.  the love i have for your daddy.  the love that my mommy and daddy have for me.

i apologize now for the craziness that you will witness at times.  i'm not perfect.  and sometimes i'm moody.  and sometimes i laugh so hard i wet my pants.  and sometimes i cry so hard and i cannot, for the life of me, explain why.

you aren't only being born to us, but you're being born to a family of people that already love you.  that already can't wait to know what you are.  and how you are.

we are lucky like that.  so blessed.  we have so many people who love us.

and as you grow, you will meet them.

i just want to formally introduce myself.  i'm your mommy.  and i've loved you since the first day i knew you were in my tummy.

i've made lots and lots and lots of mistakes in my life.  but you and your brother are two of the things i'm most proud of making.  with the help of our Creator, of course.  but still...i finished college...and a masters degree...and then since then, i haven't really "finished" anything else.

i pray for you nightly.  when my head hits the pillow.  i pray for your bones.  and your eyes.  and your fingers.  and your heart.  i pray that you are strong.  and that you are pulling everything you need from me. i'll be fine without it...you take whatever you need.

that's what motherhood is all about.

it's gonna be so hard for me to sleep tonight.  it's gonna be like i'm 5 and it's Christmas eve.

see you tomorrow around 11.

i love you,
mommy.