resolutions.

that time again.

last year i didn't make any resolutions.  mostly because i don't really think i can ever keep any.  i'm the girl that can't keep a diet up for a week.  so something an entire year old makes me need to potty.

but something changed around october for me.

the book.  seven.  by jen hatmaker.

and since then, simplicity has really been on my heart.  and my mind.  and it surrounds me daily.  in and with all i do.  grocery shopping.  cleaning house.  playing with the boys.  all of it.  i'm reminded DAILY (multiple times a day) that i must learn to live simply so that others may simply live.

other things have happened this year that have caused me to take a step back and really focus on what and who is important to me.

mainly clint.  i was talking to spencer yesterday when she said the EXACT same thing as i was thinking.  and that is that i love him more than i show him.  and that i'm hard on him.  and if i were to ever lose him, i would totally and completely lose myself.  and so i need to have more patience with him.

i have this really bad habit of thinking he's semi-perfect.  i mean, sure.  i know he isn't.  but there are times when maybe i think he should just know what to do.  because you know, he's been doing it for so long.  he's dated me for 10 years.  been married for over 5.  i forget he's human.  and tired.  and works a job where only a handful of people are excited about coming in.  i forget that his days are hard too.

and so i want to try to have more patience with him.

and of course, i want to try to have more patience with the boys.

so more contentment.  more simplicity.  more patience.

and less of the i need, i want.  less of the hurried behavior.  less of the rush, rush, rush.  less of the pinterest mom.  because if we were all honest, those of us who are taking pictures posting them on instagram every.single.day of all the great things we've done for our kids...we would admit that at some point we probably missed out on something.

i say this because i know it.  i'm guilty of it.  when i'm taking pictures, trying to document time, max will have gotten in the catfood.  and eaten a handful.  and pratt will have taken acrylic paint to the outside porch furniture and made handprints all over everything.  because "you know, momma...you love my handprints!"

i want to be better.  i want these boys of mine to grow up and search the world over for someone like me.  i want them to have high standards.  i want them to love with all their hearts.  and give.  and give more.  and keep on giving.

on christmas morning, pratt ran into the living room and screamed with delight at his three presents.  and he said, "momma!  santa did it!  he really did! he brought me three whole presents!"

tears stung my eyes.  because i've tried so hard to make sure he never takes anything for granted.  of course, now that i put this on paper...we will have a meltdown soon.  and he will tell me that he wants more.  and more and more.  and i'll deserve it for putting it here.

one more thing.  clint was telling pratt just the other day a quote he read in the newspaper.  in an obituary.  a woman that had died lived by the quote, "nothing is truly yours until you've shared it." i love that.

so here's hoping 2013 is filled with love.  and happiness.  and joy.  and contentment.  simplicity.  patience.

cheers.