dear pratt.

dear pratt,

when we were in new york city, your pop pop said something that was so smart.  i should have written about it that day, but i didn't have a computer.  and my fingers are too fat for the iphone blog post thingy. 

so i'll try to remember what he said.  we were talking about my aunt betty.  and her sons frank and nick.  we were talking about how great they are.  and how aunt betty raised them very much on her own.  dad said something about how her parenting was not typical.  and how she proved it didn't have to be typical parenting to raise successful, loving, smart, hardworking children.

he said, "she proved that being kind is all you need to be to be a successful parent."

that's a big statement.  you don't realize it now, but it seems that SO MUCH more goes into being a parent.  it's hard.  and tiring.  and at the end of the day, i'm often exhausted.  because i've worked on manners.  and rules.  and consistency.  and i've tried to be what i'm teaching you to be.  and there is so much pressure.
pressure that i put on myself.  and pressure from the outside world.  from the women who don't have kids that stare as we argue in the grocery store.  as i carry you by one arm as you're dangling because you don't want to walk and i'm not letting you down to fight me. 

and when pop pop said that, i thought, "wow.  just to be kind.  that's all i need to be?  and pratt could be good?  and i'd be proud?!"

then about five seconds later it hit me that being kind can be so hard. 

sometimes i want to scream at people who aren't paying attention at the stoplight and cause me to have to sit through yet another light.  not so kind.  not something aunt betty would do.

sometimes i want to stop at that church on the interstate.  the one that always has some verse about how the people running our country are from the devil.  and i want to scream at them, "what would jesus do you big fools!?"  not nice.  never do this.  for many reasons.  mostly, because they will think you're crazy. 

sometimes i want to scream at your dad.  i'm confident that sometimes he wants to scream at me too. 

long road to a short house, aunt betty is a saint.  because being consistenly kind is hard work.
but i think...no, i know it's worth it. 

the best people i've known...and know, were all kind people.  so i'm working on it.  and when you're old enough to read this, you can hold me accountable. 

remind me of this every single day.  i need it.

i love you sugar pie.

xoxo, mommy.