two month stats.

i'm behind.  imagine that.  this 2 kid thing is hard.  i mean, don't get me wrong..i LOVE these boys.  but man.  there is wayyyyy more than double to do.  anyway, here is what i wrote right after max's two month doctor's appointment....

so.  the first thing our pediatrician said to us when he walked in was, "well, you can stop worrying that something is physically wrong with max.  he would not be this big and healthy if something were physically wrong."

and he smiled.  and i smiled.  i wanted to hug him.  and cry.  but i didn't.  i pretty much knew once the prevacid didn't work and the million dollar formula didn't make a difference...but mostly i knew when at 6 weeks he was the worst ever...when at 7 weeks he was sort of a different child.  and then at 8 weeks, he became the sweetest baby ever...

well, i knew it was colic.  because of my boyfriend dr. weissbluth.  and his book.  "your fussy baby".  it was a life saver.  and then dayle told me about the miracle blanket.  and so well, i knew he was okay.

but it always feels good to hear it from someone who knows much more than me.

max weighs 15.9 pounds.  that's the 98th percentile.  he is 25 inches long.  that's the 97th percentile.  awesome.

dr. w. said that he was the 2nd biggest baby he had seen in a long time.  the first was a 17 pound 2 month old!!!  he was, of course, off the charts.  he was 11 pounds, 9 ounces when he was born....wait for it...vaginally!!!  i cannot imagine.

anyway, dr. w. gave max an A+ on his 2 month exam.  he said that if he didn't gain another pound, he would still be above average at 4 months.  ha.

we are in 6 month clothing...if it's ralph lauren, we're in 9 months.  yes.  seriously.  unreal.

when i told the doctor that he was sleeping all night and taking 10 ounces before bed, his response was, "of course he is.  what does he need to wake up for!?  certainly not to eat!"  we both laughed.  true, true.

we are so blessed to have a beautiful, chubby, healthy baby boy. we love him so much.

today.

today was a really good day.  i find that the busy days aren't really the hard ones.  instead, they are the ones that i love the most.  because something about staying (semi) busy is good for me.  for my soul.  i get worried when we don't have anything to do.

max is in a good routine and so pratt and i have time during the day when it's just me and him.  and i love those times.  i miss him.  i told him that today.  i told him that i was so glad we were back together.  that i had missed him.  he said, "what did you miss most, mommy?"  i told him that i missed him coming downstairs in the morning and sitting in my lap for a good 30 minutes.  until he was really awake.  until he could move around.  some mornings he sat longer.  others...others were shorter.  but he always wants me in the morning.  and i love that.  as my dad says, don't we all just want our mommies.  true, true.

this morning when max went back to sleep, we made hot chocolate.  the cold weather kind. with cocoa and salt and sugar and heavy cream/milk.  yummy.

pratt loves to drink it out of coffee cups.  i do too.








this next series of pictures totally cracks me up.  i mean, LOOK at max's face.
















and yes.  he did that all on his own.  he asked if he could change his diaper.  i said "sure.  go right ahead."  i even gave him a quarter when he was done.  i mean, he wiped him.  and then he tried to put a new diaper on him.  as he was picking up his feet (JUST like i do) he goes, "man, he's heavy momma."

notice he's wearing a hat in the picture below.  and undies.  but that's all.  a hat and underwear.  awesome.

he was trying to write pop pop.  he got two p's and an o.  just not really in that order.  sweet, sweet boy.




and my favorite picture of the day.  my little baby.  my blue eyed baby boy.

today we talked.  about lots of things.  he cooed back at me.  and that's all the response i need.




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p.

Watching a little peppa pig on daddy's iPad. Eating a rice krispie treat. Saving a double Mater cheez-it for later.

And smiling a sweet almost 3 year old smile. I love him so.




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rooster's barber shop.

this warms my heart.

seeing my little boy.  in an old barber chair.  with his black and white sneakers on.  sitting so very still.  getting a haircut.  i love the antlers on the wall.




this is pratt's second trip to roosters.  and clint said he did just as good this time as last time.  sweet little boy.

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first smile

it took ten, long weeks...but we finally got a biiiiig smile today.


and as my friend Dannis said, it was worth the wait :)

ten weeks.

Because today is ten weeks, I had to send the web nursery picture to my parents.

This was dads response...


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complete.

i had some disastrous relationships in the past.  maybe not "some".  maybe more like a few.  i don't know.  looking back, they were doomed from the start.  i see that now.  it's easy to see that now.  at the time, i thought they were perfect ideas.

and unfortunately...more often than not, i was the only thing not "perfect" in the equation.

so i attempted to change myself.  everything about myself.  yes, everything.

i remember my friend whitney flat out telling me once that i had changed.  and that i wasn't myself anymore.  her exact words were, "you're a shell of the person you once were, han. you seem sad.  and i feel like i don't even know you."

it was all so true.  so painfully true.

i heard, "you must be complete before you try to be in a relationship" more times that i could count.  it was what everyone said.

yada yada yada.
blah blah blah.

who cares about being complete.  i just wanted to be happy.  and loved.

i swear it was like the minute i finally gave in...the minute i finally decided to be complete, whitney (same from before), suggested i go to the dental school christmas party with clint.

i think her exact words were, "i pick clint."

it might have been the best pick ever.  i think it was.

all that to say that our life is not always skittles and rainbows.  there are days when i think to myself, "if i make it through this phase without driving off a cliff, it will be a miracle."

we fight.  we argue.  we...no, i...i bring up old crap.  stuff that's long since gone.  and buried.  but because i'm human and sinful and sometimes all around horrible, i do it.

sometimes i scream.  other times i cry.  and sometimes i slam doors.

there are days when i refuse to get over whatever i'm mad about.  yes...i'm apparently 12.  and during those days, when we are in the same house together...it's so hard for me.  it's much harder to be mad at him.  much harder to be angry and hold a grudge.

the minute i give it up, i feel like the pressure has been lifted off me.  and like i can breathe again. it's heavenly.

today as i was driving, i began to miss him.  he's working this friday.  i turned the radio to 103.7, his favorite station, and began to listen.  because as crazy as it sounds, i felt like he was closer to me.  like he was in the car with me.

i miss him when he's not beside me.  be it holding my hand or arguing.

and i hope this never, ever changes.  i cannot imagine my life without him.  i cannot imagine the boy's lives without him.

so clint, if you're reading this...thank you.  for loving me.  even when i leave the vacuum cleaner in middle of the floor for a solid week.  :)