clint's box.

i have no reason for posting this. i mean, it's not a special date. or anything like that. it's not our anniversary. or the day we met.

it's just that i was cleaning out my closet. well, my shoes. i love organization. but i rarely accomplish it. i mean, i wish that i could hire my friend cari to come and organize my house, my closet...my entire life.

anyway, i was working on that. and came across a shoe box. when i opened it, i knew instantly what it was. it was clint's "box". if you don't know what i mean, go back to my archives. july 2008. the 29th to be exact. the entry is titled, "the box".

this is what i love about my husband. about our relationship. i knew that i could look through it, and not find anything that was upsetting to me. not find anything that i was surprised by. i mean, i did find a few pictures of him and his high school girlfriend. but...that's okay. i know what she meant to him...and i'm completely okay with that. it's really nice to say that and mean it. really, really nice. oh, and i did find some other pictures of him and some girls from ouachita. clint was a flirt. i'll just leave it at that. :) these weren't "girlfriends". at least, according to him, they weren't. i dunno...i'm pretty sure they were. but either way...the pictures are pretty funny looking back at them. clint looks so stinkin' young. and they bring back soo many memories. soo many good memories.

i came across two notes. both from me to him. (i'll say this, i'm sure there were others...but by now, he knows that i don't want to find them) the envelope to one said, "clint. box 3370". that was his ouachita po box number. if you were a student you just had to put the box number and the name. it was a letter. it began, "to my favorite freshman".

you see, my husband is a year younger than me. i think i've talked about how we met. in dr. knight's zoology lab. i was the lab assistant. and i was so nervous that first day. i was standing at the desk by dr. knight. and clint came up. wearing cut-off camo shorts and a...wait for it...a wife beater. yes. the tank top. and he had sideburns. and he was oh, so tan. with dark, dark hair, and dark eyes.

he said, "what could i do to make a pretty girl like you smile?" i was so uncomfortable. i've never taken compliments well...and was a nervous wreck. i said something like, "well, you could go sit down."

yes, terrible. i know. dr. knight laughed and said, "that will be the man you marry".

i thought he was crazy.

apparently he wasn't.

back to the note. it was written thanking him for being so good to me. for being my friend. and there was a part in it that said, "after you came to my window".

this was so funny to me. i don't remember him coming to my window...i should ask emily if she does.

the note is old. it was originally written on white stationary. but it's turned dark. and there is a coffee stain on it. but he still has it.

and that's what was so surprising to me. i say this because he gives me a hard time for keeping everything. we were in organic chemistry together. one day during lab, i came back to my table to find a heart, cut out of lab napkins. you know, the paper towels in lab. i asked my lab partner who it was from. turns out it was from clint. i should have known.



i still have that heart. it hangs in pratt's room today. framed, of course. so that nothing ever happens to it. you may think it's silly to frame those things. i don't. i think it's those things that make a house, a home.

i need to frame more notes. i have one from whit that she gave me on my wedding day. it says, "i'm so happy with the choice i've made for you." because one day, i said to her, "i'm giving up. i'm not ever going to date anyone else. i'm going to be alone the rest of my life." this was about a week before clint called me and asked me to go to the dental school christmas party (our first real date...you see, he claims i took him parking in college. i didn't. i promise. he's got me confused with some other girl :)

anyway, she said, "i choose clint. ask clint out." and i promise you...that a week later, he asked me out to that party. the rest is history.

back to his box. i found some pictures in his shoebox. and thought they were hilarious. but they made me feel so old.

the first one is us at some bar off beale street. maybe "o'sullivans". is that even a bar? i'm so old. i can't remember anything. i think that's it. the owner became friends with clint and blaine. his name was silky. and he (ironically) lived in the same apartment complex as clint and brandon. i'll never forget pulling up to the apartment one day and seeing clint and ole silky outside visiting. silky was about 65 years old, and he was a ladies man, folks. he had on no shirt, and really short tennis shorts. you know, the ones that are cut up on the sides. and blue blockers...the sunglasses. yes. and he was about to head over to the pool to pick up some women.

the second one was the day he returned from his mission trip to brazil. i have never been more excited about seeing him. i think it's evident from my face. and he looks exhausted.

i love seeing how we've changed. apparently, i thought it was necessary to still bleach my hair beyond recognition. unreal. and clint looks like he's 12. especially in the black and white picture.

i hope pratt enjoys looking back at these pictures as much as we love looking back at pictures of our parents.

i'm going to get off here and go schedule botox or something. my forehead looks so fantastic in those pictures. what a shame...

a beautiful day!

what a wonderful day we've had!

clint and i are finally both starting to feel better. i spent last night in hot springs at the condo while clint stayed here. my intention was to get away before i got sick. didn't work. i got sick apparently in the few hours i spent with clint saturday morning.

so last night, i took some medicine and mom offered to get up and take care of pratt. thank you cookie! i just can't tell you how much better i am today!

clint is feeling better too. hopefully he will be completely better monday for work.

the weather today was beautiful! the entire family (minus yoda) walked down to the river.

here is a picture of pratt and his dad. getting ready for our walk.

happy thursday!

i had to post this picture for sugar. she gave him the onesie that says, "hug me, hold me, kiss me!"

how hilarious is his left eyebrow?! his facial expressions are one hundred percent hannah. finally...something from me! :)

and i'm pretty sure he's getting dimples. his daddy has dimples (which are currently hidden under his beard) and i think they have been passed on to little pratt. you can sort of see the one on the left side of his face in this picture. clint noticed them the other night...and said something to me. i had honestly never seen them. i'm not sure...it may be something i'm hoping happens. i guess time will tell.

have wonderful thursdays!

pratt's brown onesie.

the one with him coughing is so that i never, ever forget this wonderful virus he has. :)

and notice in the first and second pictures, he is rubbing his toes back and forth over each other. i do this ALL the time. nervous habit. apparently, a nervous genetic habit. weird...

baby harper is headed home!

for all of you that faithfully followed baby harper, she gets to go home tomorrow!!!!

i cannot imagine what they are feeling. twenty days in the nicu. we were there seven and it felt like an eternity. i'm sure that they are getting to "room in" with her tonight. how very exciting!

just wanted to share the good news! thank you for praying for this little angel. God is so good!

dear pratt.

dear pratt,

you love laying with your dad in bed. he gets you when you wake in the mornings, and ya'll lay together watching the news until i've made coffee and a bottle. i think it's safe to say that being in the crook of his arm is one of your favorite places ever. you're so content there. willing to sit there and just be next to him. it's wonderful. but even as much as you love it, i think it's safe to say that your daddy loves it more.

the pictures below are some i took because i want to remember how cute you are in tight, stripped pants. nana got you this outfit from the gap. and you have another one just like it. i know you won't be able to wear it much longer...and so i wanted to be sure i had pictures of you in it. your arms look so long and skinny in the shirt. and i love. love. love. the pants. i'm sure your dad will never allow you to wear skinny jeans...so this is my version of them :)

one sick puppy.

so i took pratt to the doctor friday afternoon. he began wheezing late thursday night. and i knew that if i were to ever hear wheezing, he had to go in.

i'm a researcher. one of those annoying people who have notes already written out...before i ever enter the door of the clinic. i attribute it to my science background. i have a flow chart. symptoms...time frames...then possible diagnoses.

i was fairly certain it was rsv. even though pratt has never been to daycare. not even at church. i just knew it. clint got sick about 10 days ago...2 weeks. something like that. a horrible cough with congestion. i think he picked something up at the pediatric clinic he works in. and then my best guess is he brought it home. where pratt and i got it. i don't know. either that...or we got it all walmart. ;)

he was coughing. getting worse. began wheezing. no fever. no change in eating habits. productive cough.

but...he had no nostril flairing. and no vomitting. he wasn't struggling to breathe. but everything else fit.

so we weren't able to see our pediatrician. but that was okay. i mean, she was really sweet. the doctor that we saw. but she was fast. you know, was talking 90 to nothing. i'm sure that it's because it was at the end of the day. and she was probably exhausted. and according to her, she'd seen 6 positive rsv cases that day alone. six. yes.

when she told me to keep him out of daycare for 2 weeks, i told her that he wasn't in a daycare. and promptly asked where he could have gotten it.

this question, dr. nolan didn't know...was a LOADED question.

here's why. for those of you who are mothers, you already know this. there is NO guilt...like a mother's guilt. you wanna feel guilty? have a baby.

thursday night as i lay in bed, all i could think of was how it was probably my fault that my four month old baby was sick. i had convinced myself that it was because i'm not still pumping. or because we have a cat and dog inside. or because i don't clean our house enough. and i don't wash my hands enough. i could go on and on...you get the picture.

just like when he was born, and in the nicu, i was convinced that too, was somehow my fault.

call me crazy, but i know some of you understand where i'm coming from.

she told me that it wasn't my fault. that there is no telling where he got it. that she had seen a six week old baby girl on friday with rsv. six weeks old. yes. talk about breaking your heart. i mean, this cough that pratt has is horrible. but i CANNOT imagine having a six week old baby with the cough.

so we did the eight minute breathing treatment friday. real fun. or not. it was a donald duck mask. which i really appreciate them at least trying to make the mask appealing..but no, as you can imagine, it DID NOT help. he fought that thing for eight minutes. the longest eight minutes of my life.

she sent us home with an inhaler and a tube/mask to use with the inhaler.

after a pretty bad scare friday night with said inhaler...think something like this...the doc tells us to put the mask over pratt's face, give one puff, let him take 10 breaths. then do another puff, 10 more breaths. then wait 4 to 6 hours...when he hear wheezing again, repeat the process. that's it. nothing else. no explanation of side effects, nothing.

now...i'm a fairly intelligent person. and i remember the lecture in medical school on the physiology of the heart. i didn't get all of it...but i do know about beta cells on the heart and lung...and i sort of understand the mechanisms behind this...and what albuterol does. and being the celebrity gossip queen that i am...i know that one of the taylor twins died from complications with an inhaler...and i'm pretty sure that's why they aren't sold over the counter anymore. anyway, having said all that, i'm pretty familiar with what happens.

but...as a parent, NOTHING could have prepared me for what happened friday night. we did the 2 puffs like we were told (like i had written down in my baby notebook...verbatim, might i add). and about 3 minutes later, pratt started flailing his arms and legs all over. flailing. no control over them. he was sticking his tongue out, and i bet his heart rate was something like 200. he was taking really shallow breaths and his breathing was incredibly rapid.

as calm as clint usually is...this competely upset him. that is how bad this was.

i ran to the trash can and got the medication sheet for the albuterol. and on the sheet i read about the adverse effects. we both recognized exactly what was going on...but it did not make the situation any better.

luckily, we are blessed with a wonderful pharmacist friend who helped when i nearly hacked pratt's finger off. mary beth. and mary beth had her cell phone friday night, and talked us through everything. she was so calm the entire time...she convinced me that he really would be okay. but that it would take a few hours.

she was right. he was okay.

but it was, without a doubt, terrifying. seeing a small baby shake uncontrollably...almost like he was having a seizure. no, exactly like he was having a seizure. all kinds of thoughts were running through my head. where will we take him? who will drive? do i have to buckle him in his car seat for this or can i just hold him? etc. etc.

so thank you again mary beth. i honestly don't know what we would have done without you. you were so calm. and like you said, you were talking to me as a pharmacist and a mother. thank you. thank you. thank you.

we've got the inhaler down now. we're giving one puff. and waiting 20 minutes. if he needs another, we'll give it. but we will never, ever, ever give back to back puffs again.

thank you all for being concerned about us. and for sending emails and messages over facebook. we're getting better slowly, day by day. please continue to keep us in your prayers. and all the other many, many kiddos with this sick virus.

his chest is still pretty congested. it's painful hearing it all...but he's actually still laughing and smiling. and being his usual happy self. i don't know where he gets this. it is NOT from me.

here he is with his daddy in the bed yesterday morning. he's discovered clint's beard.